I need help very badly...

[Hopelessdreamer]

I don't even know where to start here. Honestly I don't even feel like I deserve the support of this place, but I'm gonna try anyways. I am 21 years old. To be more precise, about 21 years, 7 and a half months old at the writing of this post. I currently live in Canada. I have autism spectrum disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder (and that's just what I've been diagnosed with) and I was born wrong. I was born in a male body, and this fact haunts me every single day of my life. All I want is the chance to be a normal girl. But alas right now I feel this dream is impossible I fear I can never have a female body, that I can never pass, that I've missed too much, that I'm not strong enough to make the transition. Right now I wanna find a gender therapist to assess me, who can prescribe me with hrt, and in due time get srs. I also need to find a way to move on my own, in a bigger centre, since at the moment I'm stuck living with my loving but transphobic parents in basically a village. However everything feels so overwhelming and scary to me, that I don't even know where to start, or feel I can do it alone. Please, can anyone out there help this lost soul? The first step I need is to talk to someone caring who knows about this stuff and can maybe help me guide me, if anyone can do that it would mean the world to me.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. You are exactly what this site was created for. Far to many people have something that blocks them from receiving the treatment they require and often a bit of information will solve their problem and start them moving.

As you live in Canada, you have socialized medicine. I am not familiar with all of the system but a good deal of your treatment might be covered by your government. The best place for you to start out is to discuss this with your personal doctor and find out how it's handled where you live as it's different in different parts of the country.

Therapy will be the first step and your therapist should be able to guide you through what's available. You will have general questions and if so, we will be happy to help you. There are other Canadian members on the site and some of them may be able to help you as well.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

Things that you should read

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

[MissGendered]

Hello, Dreamer!

You are not hopeless, hun, so may I just call you 'Dreamer', instead? Or do you have a girl name you think suits you yet? I know I did when I was your age. I liked Sheila. Here I am called Missy...

You are lucky to live in Canada, hun, even if village life is an obstacle for now, there exists pathways that are paid for to help you get the treatments you need. Here in the US, most of us have to pay for everything ourselves. Funny thing, somehow, someway, a lot of us manage anyway, because NOT doing something about our feelings is just not an option. Not forever, at least...

There are a lot of Canadians on this site, I am sure you will find them helpful with your questions about treatment in your country.

Hang in there, girl, it's gonna get better!

Missy

[V M]

Hi Dreamer 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M