So for any who don't know, I live in a small rural community just outside the St Louis area. In the past few months I have been way more public with myself. Many times I have gone through the McD drive through with nail polish on. I wear women's jeans most of the time if not in work clothes. My hair is longer but right now just basically unmanageable.
It is also colored a red brown now so that stands out a bit. Both my ears are pierced but I have kept it to simple steel ball earrings. Our kids go to a very small Catholic grade school. Yep so going to church the other night with my oldest class's parents got mea few looks. Interestingly I really only noticed some of the other moms that I have talked with some really stare when they saw me up close. So being in church and everyone with their SO and kids it wasn't like there was any time to talk at all. I'm feeling a bit nervous now because a couple of the ladies I have hung out with at the kids parties and to me I was seeing them as friends. You know I got included in the school talk, kids talk, and the gossip talk, (yeh). Those conversations felt so good to be part of even though they were thinking of me as a guy. Anyway I'm sure I'm just feeling awkward but I guess I do worry that my appearance changing may cause issues in potential female friendships. I have found I am way more of an extrovert socially than I ever realized. I get this happy buzz feeling from being included in female socialization.
So a good thing last night, my wife and I volunteered in the kitchen as part of a food prep for a school fundraiser. The lady sort of in charge didn't seem to think anything of my earrings ect. Neither did her mom except for looking at me for a moment. One girl I went to high school with was there working too. The other day when picking up the kids she saw me and looked uncomfortable but after a little while last night we were all kidding around with each other. My wife being far more included in the girl talk than I, but I was still included in the conversation. Yes they still look at me like a "husband" but I get way more girl talk than any other husband ever does. Most of them try to get away from the ladies while I'm more comfortable with them.
The school principle gave me a good long stare last night when I was talking with her in the hall for a minute. I really think my appearance was just confusing to her. It seems strange but the Catholic Church seems way more open to LGBT people now than most other churches. Heck the parish priest is clearly gay, not that he would ever say so. I would suspect that was a big reason he went into the priesthood. In his generation it must have been near impossible to live happy and open with yourself, not unlike what many of us have felt in our transness.
