Do you go to family functions?

[Wild Flower]

I feel like I have no reason to go to family functions (or seeing my family in general), they just bring misery into my life besides my grandma. I am tired of caring about people just because we share similar genetics. My life is on a whole different path than their lives, and I feel I need peace now.

I guess I mean funerals, birthdays, and all that. They are usually out of state, and I have to drop time and money to attend.

PS: I have not transition either.

[Jess1701]

I don't attend my wife's family functions. They don't want me there so I don't go. My family on the other hand is supportive of me and I go to those.

[TigerLilyNYC]

I officially swore off all family functions after the funeral of my favorite uncle at thanksgiving 2016. My cousins and their kids were taking creep shots of me at the funeral home with their phones and laughing at me thinking I didn't notice. And no one wanted to be around me. Why do I bother? Well I won't anymore. I am very alone because of it. But in the immortal words of Whitney...I'd rather be alone than unhappy. Much peace and luck to you!!

[Kylo]

The last time I attended a family funeral there was a police presence. That's how tense it was, given the circumstances of my uncle's death.

I had to ask myself would I even go to a family function at the moment anymore? My biological dad - just no. My mother's funeral if she finally had one bottle too many? I don't think I could bring myself to. She's heartless, and I'm still dealing with the things she's said and done, and everyone knows how little she thinks of me. My sister's wedding? I'd totally be there for my little sis, but I'm still in that in-between transitional stage where I'm not quite comfortable parading myself before everyone but her. But yeah, if I was a bit further along it might be one family thing I actually could enjoy being at. 

I almost feel like my presence at most of these would be confrontational by nature. Which as long as I'm comfortable in my skin, bring it on. Let them see my 'final form' and how much I don't give a flying one. But I'd be wasting my time unless the relatives I like were there.

[Angela Drakken]

I still go, for now. No ones been outwardly hostile to me. Strangely enough even my parents make the effort to 're connect' with me. (Of course, nobody knows I'm transgender yet, they just think I'm 'strange.') For now people are pretty amicable.

[Lady Sarah]

Of course, I go. My family is completely accepting of who I am.

[Floof]

I go everything on my dads side, they are all lovely, caring and supportive people. Always there for me, always kind and welcoming regardless of how awkward a stage in my transition I am at! ..Haven't seen any member of my moms side of the family in 7 years -they are very religious and sorta bigoted, so it simply doesnt work. Fathers side is enough tho, I'm very fortunate and very happy that they take such good care of me. We have a annual family gathering, and it's often the best weekend of the entire year!

[Lynne]

I missed the wedding of my cousin, the funeral of my father's sister and all the big family gatherings since I moved away from home to begin my transition. I haven't seen my cousins or any relative from my parents side for years. I'm not willing to attend as male and distant relatives don't know that I'm transitioning and they won't know until I'm full-time. It's almost 3 hours of travel to visit my parents and it's quite expensive as well but we visit each other a few times a year. We visit my girlfriends parents and grandparents on Easter and Christmas usually but that's it.

[I Am Jess]

I was disinvited from a couple of family functions right after I announced my transition almost 2 years ago.  It was their loss.  I have had some good times with individual family members since my transition but I haven't had an opportunity to go to any "events" since I was disinvited.  I guess we will see what happens in the future.  I'm going to be back in my family's neck of the woods for Christmas this year.  It will be interesting to see if my step-mom will be a big enough person to let me and my 4 kids come to Christmas dinner with the rest of the family.     

[Nora Kayte]

All I had left was my sister and her family. And she is already dead to me for other reasons. And all that happened this last week so it does not matter. She has already been on the way out of my life. My nephew, her son is a all I have left. Don't know what happened to my dad. Moms gone. Just that one nephew is left and he does not know I am trans. My wife's family loves me. But does not know I am mid transition. Going by conversations heard at functions, I am not too sure they would be accepting. And no way my wife would let me come out to any of them. My step son is gay and she won't let me tell him. Lol. So I will be alone. Yay!

[MissGendered]

Yes, I do. And I always have a wonderful time, my transition is never an issue, everybody that shows up is always great towards me. Now, there are the usual family issues with differing politics or religious beliefs, but unlike when I was a child, everybody is very civil and accommodating, no toxic behaviors at all, just some belief-based foolishness. Some of my relatives are fundie, right-wing types, but everybody has an open relationship with me as I am.

When I first came out, and returned to my home area, all the female relatives; aunt, cousins, sisters, all got together to welcome me and meet the new me, in a large group, and in smaller groups, too. It was amazing. We did the big get together thing three times, and I am always invited to any get together that comes up. Lots of lunches in restaurants and weekend pot-luck suppers..

My 4 male cousins have been absent and silent. I have no idea what they are thinking, and I quit caring a long time ago..

Missy

[AnwenEira]

I haven't been to a family function since I was a kid, a few members of my extended family are very homophobic and transphobic, so left a bad taste in my mouth to the whole concept.

[Iliana.Found]

I go to all of my family functions since everyone on both sides of my family are accepting and understanding of me being trans. It's more difficult to feel comfortable on my dad's side of family functions because I don't see them a lot so they always mess up and dead name me and get the pronouns wrong even though they are supporting. However, I am not accepted by my boyfriends family so I am unwelcome at his family functions.

[KathyLauren]

There have been no family functions since I started transitioning, and not many are likely in the future.  However, funerals are inevitable, and we will have to decide what to do about them.

I am not out to my in-laws.  My wife's parents are very elderly and frail and we didn't want to stress them with my news.  However, one of them will die before too many more years go by.  I will probably be full-time at that point, so the question is what to do?  If it happened tomorrow, I'd go in boy mode.  But once I'm full time, I will not want to do that, and, depending on "developments", I might male-fail if I tried.  So, do I come out to the surviving in-law at a highly stressful time, or do I stay away?  Or maybe come out sooner?  My wife and I will have to do some more thinking on that.

Within my immediate family, I only have two brothers.  I am out to one, not to the other.  I fear a bad reaction from him, so I am delaying that.  The only likely family function there is, again, a funeral.  If it was for my unsupportive brother, I might be dis-invited by his widow.  If it was for my supportive brother, I would no doubt be welcome, but there could be tensions with the other brother.

Obviously I do not look forward to funerals in general, but I am kind of dreading the drama tha will surround the ones that lie in the future.

[Jin]

Family is everything. I always attend, and often host. We all love each other  and support each other through the trials of life.

[Inarasarah]

I was fortunate that all of my parents were alive when I have transitioned and only my middle sister had a problem at first.  This impacted family gatherings, and my mom often blew it out of proportion, but I always offered to step back if I made people uncomfortable.  The first time I saw my extended family, cousins mostly was at my Dad's funeral.  It was a good overall experience, but it was only 3 years after transition when that happened.  My Step-dad died about 4 years ago, and this actually started to mend the relationship between my sister, well that and her recent divorce.  Now at 14 years of transition (if I can call it that now, since basically this is just my life at this point), we have full family get togethers and it is not as uncomfortable as before.  I still got self conscious about my voice, so we will see what happens at the next one, with my "new voice"

I love my family, both my natural family and my adoptive family.  Both are so important to defining who I am and granting me the support I need in my life.  I guess I am sort of a social butterfly, but sometimes a wall flower too

[Tessa James]

Yes and I try to promote these gatherings too.  I have a dozen siblings and we get up to the North shore of Lake Superior every year.  Some of my brothers were tentative the first year into my transition but we managed to keep it civil and even fun.  We love to sing around campfires and share hiking along the lake shore and rivers.  My 5 sisters inducted me into the sisterhood years ago with a girls party that bought me to tears.  And then absence and distance can help the heart grow fonder???