No more hiding my head in the sand

[MeTony]

Tomorrow I will talk to my psychiatrist about me being FTM. I'm a bit nervous. I will ask for help to find a therapist.

I told a friend today. It felt good to tell her. She accepts me as I am.

I feel like I can't wait any longer. I have supressed the real me for so long. My husband won't take it easily. But we have no real relationship anymore. No sex. No touching. I think it's me. I've been avoiding him somehow. I hate my body. Not that I'm big, I don't care about my belly. I hate the rest. My boobs are always in the way. They are way to big. I never asked for them to come. I tried to hide them until it was impossible to do so.

My husband maybe suspects something. He is unhappy. He has started drinking. My son told school about dad's drinking habits. Soooo...now the social services are involved. It will be inevitable to tell him how it is in the near future.

I hope something good will come out of all this.

[Floof]

OMG MeTonie <3

Sounds to me like there is no time to lose, if things are in such a shaky state without you out and improving yourself. So glad you have decided to talk to your psychiatrist, it is a very important step.. And its great that your friend accept you for you, having friends at your back throughout is a great help.

I so hope your situation resolves for the best, though I fear the many trials you are in for. Best of luck, and remember to come here any time you need to vent, or to ask advice from fellow FtMs and the rest of us.

Fingers crossed <3

[MeTony]

Thank you Floof.

I need as many fingers crossed as possible.

I should have done this 10 years ago. Oh well. It is easy to say that now.

[Denise]

I should have done this 10 years ago. Oh well. It is easy to say that now.

You are on your way.  Chin up.  Be proud of who you are. 

Remember the best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago, the second best time is right now.

Good luck and remember you always have support and friends here.

[MeTony]

Thank you Denise. 

I can atleast say I thought it through. I got a name fort this, transgender, 10 years ago. Never good to rush things.

[Gryffin]

I have my fingers crossed for you. It's not an easy conversation to have, but it's a step forward.

And Denise is right, the second best time to plant that tree is now.

Best of luck to you.

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[MissGendered]

Metonie,

I have my fingers crossed for you also. It sounds like you have waited as long as you could, and no matter the reasons, once this bridge has been crossed, you will have a path forward to a better life. Nobody sounds happy in your house right now, right? Well, that stinks, I know.

Talking with the psych is a great start, and a gender therapist will be a welcome addition to your life, I am sure.

Best of luck, sir!

Missy

[MeTony]

Thank you all. It is 4 hours left to see the shrink. I ws having strange dreams tonight. I came out of the closet at work. And people said congratulations to me. Wierd. Haha

[MissGendered]

Thank you all. It is 4 hours left to see the shrink. I ws having strange dreams tonight. I came out of the closet at work. And people said congratulations to me. Wierd. Haha

So very often, things go much better than we imagine they will, weirdly, lol..

I know I thought the world would end. It did not. My old world did. But a better one, a much better one, has taken its place...

Positive thoughts to you and yours!

Missy

[Floof]

Let us know how it goes <3.

I never expected a positive reaction when I came out to my family and friends but nearly everyone was so supportive, and my coworkers at my current job are just awesomely kind and chill about it all! Lost a few friends of course, one can never retain them all it seems.. But I think most can see that you will still be you, and they understand how much it can improve your life -how essential it is for you to be happy.

[MeTony]

She said: "Oh. you need to see your psychologist to sort things out. And then get transferred to the experts in transgender issues."

Got an appointment with my psychologist in a month.

I told her I have felt this since I was 10 years old. And now I am painfully aware of my missmatch between my body and me. I can't play this game anymore.

She did not question me, she looked bothered. But it was like a natural talk about the weather. I don't know WHY or WHAT I was afraid of.

[LizK]

Great outcome...you are on your way 

Liz

[tgirlamg]

All will be well MeTonie!!!..

When we find ourselves on the wrong road in our lives...it is never too late to pull out our map and compass and chart a course for the place we need to be... You will immediately feel the strength that comes from a life on it's true heading!... I wish you all good things as you move ahead!!!

Onward we go!!!

Ashley

[MeTony]

Thank you Liz and Ashley. I felt energized when I had told her. I felt so much like calling my sister and tell her how I feel. But I did not have a chance to talk undisturbed today. If my sister knows, she will tell my mom. Maybe tell her first? She already bought me men's cloths years ago. Now she mixes cloths to me. Yes. My mom buys me cloths.

[Floof]

Im so excited for you, so great that you are starting your journey in ernest. Wonderful that things went so well 

Best of luck with the future, keep us informed!

[Gryffin]

I'm so glad things went well for you. I hope things continue to go well

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