I'm out

[Shy]

It's taken 56 years, early 2017 I came out as transexual to everyone I knew.
I kind of did it without support, other than my Doc. Which probably wasn't advisable as I freaked the
next day. Happy to say it was only a blip though. I'm now happier than I've ever been, my relationship with
my family has blossomed.
I live in a rough neighbourhood and nobody has blinked an eye. Considering I had a huge beard before to hide behind, it's been a big change for them process. We kind of look after our own though, and I've felt accepted. 
I'm still tentative at times, but I do make the effort to present every day, in fact I enjoy making the effort, no it's not an effort, it's a pleasure.
I'm not there yet by a long shot, but I think the groundwork is there for me to continue with transitioning. It's one day
at a time now, but like I recently said to my therapist 'this is finally happening isn't it?' She smiled and said 'Yes'

[Paige]

It's taken 56 years, early 2017 I came out as transexual to everyone I knew.
I kind of did it without support, other than my Doc. Which probably wasn't advisable as I freaked the
next day. Happy to say it was only a blip though. I'm now happier than I've ever been, my relationship with
my family has blossomed.
I live in a rough neighbourhood and nobody has blinked an eye. Considering I had a huge beard before to hide behind, it's been a big change for them process. We kind of look after our own though, and I've felt accepted. 
I'm still tentative at times, but I do make the effort to present every day, in fact I enjoy making the effort, no it's not an effort, it's a pleasure.
I'm not there yet by a long shot, but I think the groundwork is there for me to continue with transitioning. It's one day
at a time now, but like I recently said to my therapist 'this is finally happening isn't it?' She smiled and said 'Yes'

Congrats Shy.  That's an amazing accomplishment.  I often wonder if I'll be all on my own if I transition.

Interesting about the beard.  I had one for 25 years.  I wonder how many trans-women have hid behind beards for much of their life.

Have fun being you,
Paige

[Tessa James]

Yes congratulations on that one big step for a transgender person that can set us free.  Once that genie is free from her bottle it is nearly impossible to lure her back in.  How wonderful that you are experiencing acceptance, especially from family.

I was also one who hid behind a beard thinking i would be so non masculine with out it....lol now I see a way too masculine face too often.  Feeling tentative seems very reasonable as there is so much to consider and so many ways to proceed or to coast along in or out of a self directed transition.

[Shy]

Congrats Shy.  That's an amazing accomplishment.  I often wonder if I'll be all on my own if I transition.

Interesting about the beard.  I had one for 25 years.  I wonder how many trans-women have hid behind beards for much of their life.

Ha, yes I think it's called 'hiding in plain sight!' Funny thing is my beard was zztop length. I used to braid and put ribbons in it to make it look pretty though. I can't wait for it to be zapped off now! I always remember every time I passed a mirror i'd flinch at the sight of it towards its demise. Shaving it was the biggest right of passage i've had to date, and have never felt happier. That day I planted a flag to live as my authentic self and haven't look back.

I think all of us are on our own to some degree, transition is a deeply personal journey, and every one is different. But we are here talking and sharing, encouraging and supporting, so never really alone. I've been socially isolated for many years, but am slowly starting to emerge from my self imposed cocoon. I recently made contact with the local TG group and am making new friends.

Happy times and good wishes,

shy

[Shy]

Yes congratulations on that one big step for a transgender person that can set us free.  Once that genie is free from her bottle it is nearly impossible to lure her back in.  How wonderful that you are experiencing acceptance, especially from family.

I was also one who hid behind a beard thinking i would be so non masculine with out it....lol now I see a way too masculine face too often.  Feeling tentative seems very reasonable as there is so much to consider and so many ways to proceed or to coast along in or out of a self directed transition.

Thanks Tessa

Yeh, this girl is out for good! The old self imposed prison is well and truly smashed. I'm committed to the real me now, not to say it's going to be easy, and i'm under no illusions that everything will magically get better in my life. But for now it's such a relief just to be myself.

Off to the opticians today to change my specs for something more flattering. I do like the look of yours, they suit you, purple has always been my favourite colour.

Peace and love and all that good stuff!

shy

[Tessa James]

Thanks Shy, Love my glasses and find them much easier than eye make up.   I admire your sense of commitment to being real and authentic. 

HRT has felt so good to me and the changes so long anticipated that I feel it can seem like magic even if I understand the pharmacology and physiology fairly well.  Of course my magic wand would have worked better without the 50 year delay

The relief I experienced was so significant and a bit surprising.  That clearly demonstrated to me the long history of adaptation and coping so many of us do to "act" like our assigned gender becomes second nature.  I didn't realize how hard I had been working to present as an image while my more real self had become a mere shadow.

Yes, transition might not make "everything" better but changing the perception and view points we inhabit has proven to be dramatically better for me in engaging the rest of the world.   Yes ma'am a world better served with peace and love

[ainsley]

Congrats, Shy!!     (belated)
Go forward and deal with things head on.  No more hiding.

Interesting about the beard.  I had one for 25 years.  I wonder how many trans-women have hid behind beards for much of their life.

I had one for over 20 years.

[Shy]

Congrats, Shy!!     (belated)
Go forward and deal with things head on.  No more hiding.

Aw, thanks Ainsley for the birthday wishes, I promise no games of hide'n'seek at my party;)

shy

[Shy]

HRT has felt so good to me and the changes so long anticipated that I feel it can seem like magic even if I understand the pharmacology and physiology fairly well.  Of course my magic wand would have worked better without the 50 year delay

The relief I experienced was so significant and a bit surprising.  That clearly demonstrated to me the long history of adaptation and coping so many of us do to "act" like our assigned gender becomes second nature.  I didn't realize how hard I had been working to present as an image while my more real self had become a mere shadow.

Yes, transition might not make "everything" better but changing the perception and view points we inhabit has proven to be dramatically better for me in engaging the rest of the world.   Yes ma'am a world better served with peace and love

Thanks Tessa

That has been really helpful to me hearing about your experience:) I've really struggled with dysphoria since i've come out. It's like ramped up to 11 from a steady simmer. I'm waiting for the HRT train to arrive, been referred and passed the psyche evaluation. Just waiting for an appointment with letter in hand.

shy

[Colleen_definitely]

Interesting about the beard.  I had one for 25 years.  I wonder how many trans-women have hid behind beards for much of their life.

<raises hand>

I never had a particularly superhero-like manly jawline or chin so going scruffy helped hide the reminder that something wasn't quite "right."

Not that I'm particularly complaining about it now.

[KathyLauren]

Congratulations, Shy!  That is a big step.  Glad it went well.

I wonder how many trans-women have hid behind beards for much of their life.

*Raises hand*  Me!  I grew a beard in my late 20s and kept it until last year (age 61), except for a few years when I couldn't have one due to being in a volunteer fire department.  My reasoning was that a girl shouldn't have to shave, and it gave me a perfect male disguise.  The things we do!   

It seems to be pretty common.

[Shy]

<raises hand>

I never had a particularly superhero-like manly jawline or chin so going scruffy helped hide the reminder that something wasn't quite "right."

Ah yes, I know the something not quite right feeling well.

Congratulations, Shy!  That is a big step.  Glad it went well.

*Raises hand*  Me!  I grew a beard in my late 20s and kept it until last year (age 61), except for a few years when I couldn't have one due to being in a volunteer fire department.  My reasoning was that a girl shouldn't have to shave, and it gave me a perfect male disguise.  The things we do!   

It seems to be pretty common.

Thanks Kathy,

My biggest fear toward shave day was that it would increase my dysphoria. The opposite happened, I saw the female in me for the first time in over 30 years. I checked and double checked and there she was not going anywhere. It was profound experience.

[kat69]

I know how relieving it can be getting rid of facial hair, although for me I never had a beard.  My work meant that I was always shaving, sometimes twice in one day.  As I've been transitioning, the hair removal has made the dysphoria lessen as I see less and less of the "male marker" of stubble.  I'm at a point that I've had four treatments and the majority of the dark hairs are gone, but I really, really focus on the ones that remain....oh, and the grey hairs that don't get lasered away...well I can still feel them very well.  I expect I'll need electrolysis after the laser.

[Shy]

I know how relieving it can be getting rid of facial hair, although for me I never had a beard.  My work meant that I was always shaving, sometimes twice in one day.  As I've been transitioning, the hair removal has made the dysphoria lessen as I see less and less of the "male marker" of stubble.  I'm at a point that I've had four treatments and the majority of the dark hairs are gone, but I really, really focus on the ones that remain....oh, and the grey hairs that don't get lasered away...well I can still feel them very well.  I expect I'll need electrolysis after the laser.

Yes, any mention of facial and body hair is a huge trigger for me. I did like a complete 180 when the wretched thing met it's demise, dysphoria went nuts, but I knew it was coming and had prepared myself for it best I could.
Sadly it's electrolysis all the way for me, I went silver a long time ago. On the plus side I don't get any shadowing later in the day, always got to look for the plus side
Glad to see your getting results, won't be long girl and you'll be follicle free!

Best wishes

shy