Sexual Questions

[thewitchoforigins]

Hi, I'm new to this forum so I wasn't sure where I should post this... I'm a non op non transitioning FtM, but my girlfriend is a non op transitioning MtF. We have questions that we can't find answers to.

My girlfriend hasn't started her transition yet, but is wondering about the affects of hormones with our sex life. We're very sexual and want to have a normal sex life. She wants to still be able to ejaculate and get an erection. I've seen some girls on here say that if you use it a lot you'll still get an erection (and she certainly does ) but I've also heard about a surgery that makes the penis fully functional (or work like the person said that I saw talking about it) while on hormones. I can't remember the name of it.

If any transitioning trans women (no matter how long you've been transitioning as long as you're pre op) with a high sex drive can answer this that'll be great, especially if you might know the surgery I'm talking about.

(TL;DR: my girlfriend will be transitioning soon but wants to keep an erection and ejaculation, any tips on how to keep these things?)

[Dena]

What you are asking is a bit complicated but it can be done if you have the right Endo. The Endo has to understand your goals and then it becomes a process of adjusting the testosterone levels so there is enough to get an erection but not enough to cause other issues. In addition a drug that enables erections may also be prescribed to help with the process.

There are members on the site who desire the same thing. For some, even with testosterone fully surpassed, they still remain functional and others need assistance to make it happen.

[thewitchoforigins]

What you are asking is a bit complicated but it can be done if you have the right Endo. The Endo has to understand your goals and then it becomes a process of adjusting the testosterone levels so there is enough to get an erection but not enough to cause other issues. In addition a drug that enables erections may also be prescribed to help with the process.

There are members on the site who desire the same thing. For some, even with testosterone fully surpassed, they still remain functional and others need assistance to make it happen.

Thank you so so much! This comment is extremely helpful


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[Tessa James]

With respect to your MtF girlfriend, who is transitioning, we have a frequent qualifier expressed as "Your Mileage May Vary."  YMMV is important to understand because we are left to anecdotal reports rather than much in the way of actual research or scientific data.  That being said I have been on HRT and reading posts for years.  What i have heard is that yes, use it or lose it can be a factor and then there are real changes in libido and desire often expressed too.  Much depends on our individual physiology, commitment and goals.  Those factors can change during transition too.  I hear most people acknowledging a change in spontaneous erections (morning wood) and a significant change in ejaculate, often much reduced, changed or absent after a year or more of HRT.   Our testes typically shrink but some folks specifically use a lower does of HRT in an effort to tailor their results.

My entire world of romance, intimacy, desire and response has changed dramatically for the better.  While i am less binary than some I still lean to the female side of the gender spectrum.  For those wanting to maintain a "normal sex life" (penetration maybe?) we hear and read about folks using viagra, low dose T and even being porn stars so if there is a will, there is a way?

[thewitchoforigins]

With respect to your MtF girlfriend, who is transitioning, we have a frequent qualifier expressed as "Your Mileage May Vary."  YMMV is important to understand because we are left to anecdotal reports rather than much in the way of actual research or scientific data.  That being said I have been on HRT and reading posts for years.  What i have heard is that yes, use it or lose it can be a factor and then there are real changes in libido and desire often expressed too.  Much depends on our individual physiology, commitment and goals.  Those factors can change during transition too.  I hear most people acknowledging a change in spontaneous erections (morning wood) and a significant change in ejaculate, often much reduced, changed or absent after a year or more of HRT.   Our testes typically shrink but some folks specifically use a lower does of HRT in an effort to tailor their results.

My entire world of romance, intimacy, desire and response has changed dramatically for the better.  While i am less binary than some I still lean to the female side of the gender spectrum.  For those wanting to maintain a "normal sex life" (penetration maybe?) we hear and read about folks using viagra, low dose T and even being porn stars so if there is a will, there is a way?

Yeah I meant penetration, sorry if it sounded wrong/weird I said normal!! But thank you for your advice! I'll bring the low dose t  or viagra thing up to her

[KayXo]

Trial and error. If she finds on very low T, she can't get erections then reduce dose of anti-androgen or estrogen. She must do this in accordance with her doctor, always.

I'm post-op, with very little T, low female range and when aroused, feel all the blood rushing to where the penis would have been (very painful at times!) and it's fully engorged so that in my case, even with very little T, I can get "erect".