How did you change your name at work/school/non-intimate social groups?

[Gothic Dandy]

All I want to ask is literally in the subject line. Can you share some stories?

[Dayta]

I haven't quite come out at work yet, but will be doing so within the next month or so.  I am planning to meet with one of the Human Resource reps, one that I have worked with quite a lot, and talk through any existing procedures or protocols, so that we can agree to a date.  I imagine that I'll probably want to take a few days just before, maybe as little as a long weekend, prior to my actual transition, giving them time to prepare with whatever sort of awareness or preparations they plan for in these cases.  (I imagine they have something written down, although I haven't uncovered it in my policy searches so far).  I've already taken care of my identity documents, like my Social Security card, driver's license and passport, so the remaining changes will mostly just be within the company systems and records. 

If this thread is still running a month from now, I'll be able to fill in the gaps with actual events versus expectations. 

Erin

[Denise]

Funny you should ask.

I'm going full time on Thursday (6 days) and I've been building up notes on how to change my name in places.  It helps that word of my transition is spreading like wild-fire at work (+10k employees) and people are actually starting to call me Denise.

On Thursday afternoon at 4:00 I'll be changing my "preferred" name (yes there is actually a field for that) in a number of places:
1) Our Human Resources / Personnel system
2) Our Email system
3) Our on-line chat system (it actually maybe tied to email)
3) Our Internal Portal system
4) Putting up a new name plate (as I walk out the door I'm changing it)

Then on Friday morning:
1) Facebook
2) Linked in
3) Award cards with an on-line portal (Panera Bread, TGIFridays for example)

There is one social group left and that will happen on the Tuesday after I'm full-time.  It's a group of people who, on average, are in their 60's and I'm betting on one or two people will not accept it.  My response will be - "Well you're the first - bye" and turn around and walk away.

Then the challenge of changing legal name needs to be wrestled with.  I may let the dust settle first but that will start mid March.

[FTMax]

Work - Half of my coworkers are my real life friends, so I came out to them. Then I came out to my boss and told him I'd be changing my name legally and going out for surgery soon. He asked what my new name would be and that was that. He told the remaining coworker what was up. To clients I work with, I sent out an email before top surgery saying I was going out for a week for surgery and that I was also changing my name. Didn't go into more detail than that.

School - N/A, not in it. I did send every school I've been to my name change order after the fact to get my records updated and I had no issues with any of the registrar staff I encountered.

Social Groups - I play WoW in a guild where everyone knows everyone's first names and is often friends on Facebook. I mentioned it to a few higher up folks via PM, updated it in my little info section, and that was that. No issues. We did have an influx of new players due to recruiting shortly after, so my coming out was probably well timed.

I came out at the martial arts gym I went to before starting T, and told them I was planning to take a long hiatus. There is very little guidance from the national organizations for the sport on what to do with transgender athletes, and they mostly defer to the Olympic rules since it's an Olympic sport. The instructors and coaches all told me I was welcome to stay and they'd get guidance on competing, but I planned my whole transition to take as little time as possible so it didn't make sense to be training to compete when I was in and out for surgeries at least once a year with a few month recovery period each time.

Facebook I just changed my name and pronouns. Didn't make a post or anything.

[Kylo]

Yet to finalize it at the solicitors but I will need a formal letter to change the name on my degree before I finish it, all the rest is just a matter of telling them in my own time. No worries at work - I'm the boss and the only employee

[Gothic Dandy]

Thanks for sharing, everyone! It's nice to see how differently everyone handles this.

Does anyone have advice for changing my name (not necessarily coming out) to the teachers and other parents at my kid's school? It's a private school and I'm finding that most of the adults have a more friendly bond than they did at my public school when I was a kid. I've had to introduce myself a few times and I'm also on the phone/email roster with my birth name, because I just defaulted to my legal name in a panic each time.

[kaitylynn]

After arriving at the decision to start HRT, I realized I would have to finally reveal my real name to my work.  As I would indeed be transitioning on the job, chose to just do it.  Earlier in the year my world had started to slide sideways and my work performance suffered, my boss asked me what was happening.  Told him I could not talk about it yet, but promised him I would.  Finally brought my plans together several months later and called him to let him know that I was ready to talk.  He took me to dinner and I just spelled it all out for him.  From that day forward, I became Kat around the office and only one person in about 50 I work with daily has ever slipped in a dead name and it was most certainly not on purpose.

In my case, HR agreed to change my name internally before I legally changed my identity.  My boss and I had discussed a rough time table, so he knew the steps I was planning and a general thought as to when each would happen.  He interfaced with the rest of management and really smoothed the road out for me.  Sometime a girl gets lucky!

[MeTony]

I have not done this yet. But I have a plan.

1st I will tell some close co-workers in my group.

2nd I will tell my boss.

3rd I will just change my name on the list and take it from there.

I am a supervisor at work and meet most coworkers during the day. It would be hard to tell 300 people individually.

On facebook I will just change my name to Tony when I'm ready. No hussle. Most of my friends are co-workers.

Non-profit organizations won't be a problem. They are openminded and I will just tell them my new name and ask for a change in the members directory.

I have one worrysome thing though. I'm a scout leader. I wonder how the teens will take it. Many kids are openminded but some are very judgemental. our teens are very nice. Maybe it will be fine.

[meatwagon]

work is an easy one.  you can put pretty much any name/nickname you want on your nametag, and the only place your birth name shows up is on the computers.  the managers know what it is, but everyone calls you by what's on your nametag.  of course, it may be weird when you don't pass and people ask "is that short for something?" and "what's your REAL name?"  but then i just look 'em in the eye, say "no, that is my name", and no more questions.  good enough, at least until i can legally change my name and actually transition.  certainly better than nothing.

[Denise]

Thanks for sharing, everyone! It's nice to see how differently everyone handles this.

Does anyone have advice for changing my name (not necessarily coming out) to the teachers and other parents at my kid's school? It's a private school and I'm finding that most of the adults have a more friendly bond than they did at my public school when I was a kid. I've had to introduce myself a few times and I'm also on the phone/email roster with my birth name, because I just defaulted to my legal name in a panic each time.

I suggest meeting with the principal.  They should be able to help.