I second what Jeanette has said. I know your life hasent been easy and you have been strong in many aspects. But on this job thing you do need to have big girl panites. The fact remains, I have read some old posts and you have been asking people on this site since 2015 the same question. The exact same question. The definition of insanity is doing hte exact same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. You seem to fall into this pattern of were you put yourself down without giving yourself a fighting chance. We give you all sorts of places to apply to and tell you places to avoid for x,y and z. I will be blunt, if i was an employeer I would be very very iffy about hiring you. not because of your disability (fellow autistic person here) but due to pi$$ poor attitude (which in the urban dictionary means an attitude that hinders production and cooperation). I would be worried I would give you a task and you would find any which way to not do said task. Its comes across as you refuse to challange yourself and push forth to make things happen and would rather highlight all the troubles you still face, without working on them. It took me forever to do the most basic stuff, like tie my shoes. Couldnt do that until i was about 15 years old with all my own mental set backs. But I pushed through, at one of my first jobs as a cook in a bar when I was 18 or 19 I was still really slow. So what did I do? I came to work early (without punching in) to prepare my station for the dinner rush. I sauced up all my bottles, cut all the veges, sanitized, ect. Because of that, I got a pretty decent reference from that place and since i live in tiny town (Petawawa) where everyone knows each other thats probably why I got my current job! Its all about initiitive. With time, I was faster then a bullet because I was engaged and I wanted that job! In all honesty I can see the same applying to you. However, you will have to want it and learn that you need to sell yourself to an employeer.
Me, FTMax, JenTay, SadieBlake, Develyn Marie, Sno and countless other who have given you a boat load of advice cant change whats inside you. Thats up to you. And when you can work on that we will still be with you 100% of the way. But its going to take initiitive on your part.
Hugs-Ashley
