On being Liz

[LizK]

You Know what ladies...some days you should not make rash promises to yourself before looking in the mirror...LOL

Electrolysis yesterday involved facial injections  which means today I am a swollen bruised mess....there is no way I am putting makeup on that mess. So the photo for the licence is out today...it will be the same photo for 5 years...so might be prudent to wait a day or so LOL

I was really angry with him about it but also I was really surprised as I had found him a reasonable kind of person prior to this. All my therapy has been done with a psychologist whom he consulted. I am over it now and know exactly who he is

Michelle I am sure by comparison the ID will be Ok, I have checked the criteria and I now meet it all...yeah that neck work is realy unpleasant and I had most of mine done with local anaesthetic...don't know how you managed with just Emla cream

Jentay...love ya work...can I use that?  I would love to incorporate it in my blog

Liz

[LizK]

Good for you Liz,



  Thank you for the Cindy update. I'm intimately familiar with those machines. It's not fun, it a pain in the tail trying to use the adult potty chair with everything hooked up. At least I didn't have to use a bed pan. oxygen, monitors, catheter nope no fun at all. I'm sure Cindy has all that and more, but she's a trooper and will survive it with her usual grace. Praying for her speedy recovery.
   Please pass on my best wishes for her when you next see her.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Hi Jeanette

I will certainly pass on my best for you. Might have to rethink my timings and may even be able to see her today yet but if not certainly tomorrow.

As far as the Psych goes I am angry with him but I don't have to see him again and since I don't need anything from him it will be like most of his appointments...very quick. He runs his standard set of questions, to which I reply with my stand set of answers, he writes them in standard set of notes and now everyone is happy because we have met the standards. Yay for standards!!

Cynical who me......

Liz

[jentay1367]

Jentay...love ya work...can I use that?  I would love to incorporate it in my blog

Liz

Of course you can, Hon! I don't know whether to be flattered or concerned about your judgement?

What pray tell is your blogs URL?  I'd love to read more of your expereinces & musings!

[LizK]

Of course you can, Hon! I don't know whether to be flattered or concerned about your judgement?

What pray tell is your blogs URL?  I'd love to read more of your expereinces & musings!

Not sure my blog is ready for public reading yet but it won't be far off....I want to incorporate some of the great stuff that has been said to me here at Susan's but need to be careful that no one is identified(or are OK if they are) and that I can use stuff etc etc...still a bit of work to do...I was hoping to have April to work on it as I am having to take a one month break from Electrolysis and have not scheduled much in the way of other stuff. I would like to Launch the end of May if I could

Liz

[jentay1367]

FWIW...I'm a mean old >-bleeped-< with a bit of an attitude, but if I said it you can reprint it, anywhere! Looking forward to that link, Liz!   

[LizK]

So the original Plan today was to go sort out my ID change and get a new Driver Licence...slight problem my face is all swollen and bruised from Electrolysis and I have a side ways chin....Ok not to be beat I figured a Medicare office should be Ok only a few people, so off I went to the combined Medicare and Centrelink office and the place was a Mad House, Centrelink deals with Unemployment, sickness and disability payment along with a whole heap of other stuff.

Very long story short, can't name change my Medicare, which is universal healthcare cover,so whatever medical stuff I get done has my dead name on it until I get it changed. So it is a pretty big deal for me. They won't do it until I get my drivers licence changed...so off I go to get my licence changed, I am of the understanding that I need a letter from a Dr, and proof of who I am. I have both of these but the Computer says no....after about a 20 minute discussion with the manager she said she might accept the change of name certificate from NZ as I cannot get one from Australia where I live because I am not a citizen. So it took the rest of the day to put together what I needed to get my change of name certificate and sent it to NZ. Not sure what else I can do...this may or may not be enough to get my license which, the manager thinks she will be Ok with it. I need my license for Photo ID and costs about $150 to do this certificate she thinks  she will accept

I was so upset about it all, passing or not passing never entered my mind...I simply couldn't have cared less today.

The day felt like one of total humiliation

Liz

[jentay1367]

Sorry for the bad day, Liz. This whole process certainly toughens us up by the time were finished. On one level, I suppose it's a good thing. But on another......some days the whole of it just leaves you feeling wretched. This too shall pass and today will be brighter. That joyous experience was one more wall kicked down leaving you closer to the goal.

[JeanetteLW]

Hi Liz,

F R U S T R A T I O N !!!  Frustration Plus  I bet you were either angry or wanted to cry. possibly both. I think I would be by the time you got done. Bureaucracy is such a pain in the tush at times.

  You didn't hurt anyone did you? Hmmm, no broken furniture or holes in the wall? Hangover this morning? Oh My I hope not. None of those are good solutions and none will make you feel better.
  Go get yourself a nice tight warm hug from a loved one. It may not fix any of the problems you ran into but hugs sure feel good.  I hope you have a better day today.

Hugs,
    Jeanette

[Michelle_P]

The ID change is rough.  I was fortunate that the Transgender Law Center in my home state of California actually put out a step-by-step guide that listed documents, and included example filled-out forms. The process is quite complex and involves a number of steps that had to be carried out in a precise order or the process would fail.

[LizK]

Sorry for the bad day, Liz. This whole process certainly toughens us up by the time were finished. On one level, I suppose it's a good thing. But on another......some days the whole of it just leaves you feeling wretched. This too shall pass and today will be brighter. That joyous experience was one more wall kicked down leaving you closer to the goal.

You are right by the time I was done, I had kicked a few walls down and some kind of direction to go in. Much of the terminology is open for interpretation and they just LOVE telling you their version. I am heading off interstate at the end of may and I need a drivers licence as well as my bank details changed so I can stay and pay for my accommodation for my Nursing class reunion...it takes 14 days to get the certificate, then a further 14 days to at least get my new physical licence and similar to get new bank cards in my name so depending on what further is required to get my name change document...hopefully I have it all right!!

Liz

[LizK]

Hi Liz,

F R U S T R A T I O N !!!  Frustration Plus  I bet you were either angry or wanted to cry. possibly both. I think I would be by the time you got done. Bureaucracy is such a pain in the tush at times.

  You didn't hurt anyone did you? Hmmm, no broken furniture or holes in the wall? Hangover this morning? Oh My I hope not. None of those are good solutions and none will make you feel better.
  Go get yourself a nice tight warm hug from a loved one. It may not fix any of the problems you ran into but hugs sure feel good.  I hope you have a better day today.

Hugs,
    Jeanette

I was really good and polite with all the people I dealt with. I only physically lost it when I got back to the car and slammed my paperwork on the top of my car roof(old old car) which made a satisfyingly large banging sound. I don't drink or smoke so I cried...I cried until my resolve hardened and I decided I was not going to "Let the B's beat me down" then my stubborn resolve took over to have the paperwork prepared and sent to NZ for approval, most of this stuff is so vague around what is required it is so very easy to misinterpret. Plus the Manger has discretion as to what she will and won't accept.

There are two parts that have to be satisfied

Name change  - official document from Govt department is the only acceptable document - despite the fact they won't issue me with one and refuse to say if they will accept the one from my home country

Gender Change  -this is a letter form the Psychiatrist to say I need a gender marker change...they are all fine with that part and will even change the gender marker with my old name on it

I was exhausted by the end of it all and an emotional wreck...it was just such a humiliating experience 

Liz     

[LizK]

The ID change is rough.  I was fortunate that the Transgender Law Center in my home state of California actually put out a step-by-step guide that listed documents, and included example filled-out forms. The process is quite complex and involves a number of steps that had to be carried out in a precise order or the process would fail.

My biggest issue is I am not an Australian citizen but have all the same rights apart from these very technical ones. So why not just become an Australian citizen? That is an even longer and more convoluted process that you need to attend a ceremony and then you are issued with the citizenship. I do get special priority due to my status but it takes over 6 months...maybe something to do for later

If I was a an Australian Citizen I still have to jump through some fairly stupid hoops to get my name change certificate but one you have that it is all very straight forward...without it, it is like beating your head against a brick wall. Is it any wonder we are such stressed individuals

Liz

[davina61]

Feel for you, beurocacy (sorry speel checker not working on this)  can be a bitch and if you have a "more than my jobs worth " in charge. In the UK it looks easy just fill in a deed poll and when approved (£60ish) you just use it to change , drivers licence easy ,willeven do gender change . Its all on internet government site.

[LizK]

Feel for you, beurocacy (sorry speel checker not working on this)  can be a bitch and if you have a "more than my jobs worth " in charge. In the UK it looks easy just fill in a deed poll and when approved (£60ish) you just use it to change , drivers licence easy ,willeven do gender change . Its all on internet government site.

Here in Australia Deed pole is not considered legally binding which is why they won't use it. It requires a stat declaration witnessed by two people and then registered with Births deaths and Marriages...that is all it takes by deed poll which many, many, organisation may not and do not have to accept, They do have to accept the official change of name document. The UK is one of the few places in the world where deed poll is still acceptable, that is according to the Aust Govt website.

Liz   

[Drexy/Drex]

I was exhausted by the end of it all and an emotional wreck...it was just such a humiliating experience 

Liz   

Feel for you Liz 😿 I know humiliation  well. so I do understand  especially dealing with that bone head  shrink
Your actions  are impressive  ....takes a. lot of  courage  👏

[LizK]

What a week I have had...with my new movie being out...well video, Just over 100+k views and the most moving part for me was the response from my friends and family after coming out publicly a few weeks ago on facebook. After the video went out I got heaps of nice comments. It was really great...

So Friday evening after the vid had been all over the internet I figured it was about time to change my profile pic to the same one I show here. So I did that shut down my Facebook and never gave it another thought....I getting countless notifications about the video anyway. When I sat down on Saturday morning  I realised my picture had created quite the storm of comment...these were my closest friends and family, I could not bring myself to look until a notification flashed up that my mother had commented on my photo, the within a few minutes my father commented. This the first time either of them have acknowledged me in public...I kind of figured it wouldn't be nasty...

And it wasn't...they were both wonderful...I was humbled

My mother "Lovely photo You are stunning !"

My Father " Great photo - amazing - wow"

This was a huge thing they did for me...I fell like they really are starting to accept who I am.

I did manage to catch up with Cindy on Saturday and to meet at least one of the more colourful characters looking after her. She is looking pretty marvellous for a gal having gone through what she has...could do with a bit more weight on her but radical surgery will do that to you.

I have a quiet month ahead of me...not much in the way of appointments...a laser session and a voice therapy at the end of the month.

I got an acknowledgement from the NZ Govt they have my change of name forms and are processing them. I don't think I will have too many hassles...pretty sure I have the stuff they require. Should have the documents in the next 2 weeks, then I can get my licence changed, then my bank accounts, then the rest of my utilities....then my passport. But for now it is a waiting game...


Liz

[JeanetteLW]

Hey Liz,

   That was really cool what your parents commented on your picture. Sound like they have thought about you a bit and decided you are still their child and will love and support you regardless.

   It's nice to read your document quest is moving along too. You'll get things done eventually because you're persistent. Keep it up.

   Take a break this month and breathe.

Hugs
   Jeanette

[LizK]

After 4 trips to have documents verified 5 emails and two phone calls I received this about 5 minutes ago

"Dear BXXXXXXX

Thank you for your email.

Name change completed and name change certificate despatched to you today J

Regards

(Removed) | Registration Officer   

Births, Deaths, Marriages, Citizenship, Authentications and Translations

Mauri o te Tangata

The Department of Internal Affairs - Te Tari Taiwhenua"

So once the certificate arrives  (3-5 days) I can now start to change my name across the various organisations

Yahoooooooo!!!!

Liz

[JeanetteLW]

Great news Liz. Hopefully Australia will go just as smoothly now.

Hugs,
    Jeanette

[LizK]

What is it with pronouns...they can be like pieces of hot lead spat you or a gentle caress of acceptance...and infuriatingly difficult to get other to comprehend their importance.

I cannot explain properly why they hurt me so much, I have never been more bothered by them than in the last 3 months. Like  little poison darts....they will make me leave a room and bring me to tears. I am normally not bothered by this kind of stuff but these pronouns have got me beat...

Liz