On being Liz

[davina61]

After my Eldest came for tea , we did over do it, put 2 lb back on . Must put a lock on fridge door!!!!!!!!

[LizK]

After my Eldest came for tea , we did over do it, put 2 lb back on . Must put a lock on fridge door!!!!!!!!

Love your pic.....oh well I have not exactly been good today....oh well 

[Drexy/Drex]

Oooh that date  is getting closer are you nervous ?

[Laurie]

Love your pic.....oh well I have not exactly been good today....oh well 

Well Liz Let's hope that today you have a much better day when you wake  to face the new day in your robe with a nice cup of coffee and a slice of toast with Vegemite on it. (shudder).  ((Hugs for you))

Hugs,
   Laurie

[davina61]

Cheers Liz, Christmas is coming we don't stand a chance!!!!!! New years resolutions then

[davina61]

Think I will start after Christmas , after meal with Kendra and then bought a BIG Stilton cheese

[LizK]

I am back on the board again after a month of "taking care of business" which involved a number of things.

Firstly I think over the last 6 -12 months I have been a little complacent when it comes to my wife. Nothing huge or over the top just a gentle slipping of my attention. About 4 weeks ago I realised that whilst I may not have any problems moving through the world as a Trans Woman it was a more difficult prospect from my wife. Regardless of this she carried on in her usual loving way supporting me and doing things that made her uncomfortable. Once I noticed what was going on it concerned me as to how many other small ques I had missed from her and exactly how comfortable she is to be married to a Trans Woman.  So I have spent most of the time just being with and looking after her, strengthening our relationship a bit more I hope.

Add to this the reality of surgery which is such a personal thing and not something that is usually left for Dinner time discussions. I was feeling the pressure about my decision and how those close to me (My Wife) would react. Bearing in mind I have only told her exactly what is going on but both my daughters are astute enough to work it out. I am far more settled in my decision and find myself less panicked that someone is going to come along and put a stop to it. Unfortunately I have had an unexpected glitch with the tax department who think I owe them a huge amount of money. I have now provided the appropriate paperwork to them which I hope will sort things out. If it doesn't then it could potentially put an end to my surgery. I don't think it will get to that at least I hope not.

I had another very stressful Skype call with my father yesterday in which for the first time since I last spoke to him  I was mis-gendered and mis-named. It happens so rarely these days that I was stunned when it happened yesterday although I was expecting it. I didn't realise it could be so hurtful even when expected. I was really upset after the call but really don't know what to do about it. My mother already will have very little to do with me and if I alienate my father that will bring my two older brother into the picture and I know who's side they will come down on(even if sides are not required) and it won't be mine. So I feel a little concerned that if I have an major issue with him then I may lose the very little contact I have with the rest of my family. My younger brothers Transphobia got the better of him and he is now out of my life. Will add it to the list of things requiring "fixing".

Just to add the final touch my chronic illness has decided to play up and give me a hard time over the last week. I am feeling a bit better but my stamina is still AWOL....slowly coming back but I had a setback early in the week. In fact if it wasn't for that I would have been back on the board earlier. So now to catch up on what has been happening.
I just put up my latest profile pick after having my hair done this afternoon. All in all its been a mixed 4 or so weeks with my HRT having finally settled down I feel really well for the first time in ages.

[KathyLauren]

It's good to have you back, Liz.

Sorry to hear about the stresses, but I am glad that you are taking care of your relationship with your wife.  Having a supportive spouse is the greatest thing, so nurturing that relationship is important.

[Drexy/Drex]

Looking good liz 😉

[Laurie]

Hi Liz.

  I like the new you in the avatar. Pink looks good on you. Now that your problems are settling down can we get back on schedule with my therapy sessions? I me really where are your priorities, girl??! I'm starting to feel like a jilted bride left stranded in the lurch!!

Love ya ,
Laurie

[Megan.]

Liz, great to see you back and looking fab!

Sorry your family are not doing what they should do, and giving you unconditional love and support, but you'll always get that from your family here at Susan's. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[davina61]

Welcome home , sounds like your getting sorted, good on ya.

[LizK]

Thanks to everyone for the kind words of encouragement

I'd better go see what's up with that Laurie woman...again  Just Kidding

Families are just plain weird at times...all my life my parents preached tolerance and diversity, what I discovered it that tolerance and diversity are important until its in their own back yard and then life becomes more difficult.

[BeverlyAnn]

Liz, sorry to hear about the stresses.  I noticed you hadn't been very active lately and I certainly understand about how it affects your wife.  Sometimes I have to make myself stop and think about Miss Dee and how she's doing.  Also sorry about the Skype with your father.  Again I certainly understand how that feels.  I was chatting with my sister-in-law a couple of days ago and she mentioned my brother.  I told her please don't get mad but I was done with my brother, I had given him 18 months and I had cried all the tears I was going to cry. She said she understood.  I didn't know your mom was closing you out.  You need to drop me a line and bring me up to date.

[LizK]

Liz, sorry to hear about the stresses.  I noticed you hadn't been very active lately and I certainly understand about how it affects your wife.  Sometimes I have to make myself stop and think about Miss Dee and how she's doing.  Also sorry about the Skype with your father.  Again I certainly understand how that feels.  I was chatting with my sister-in-law a couple of days ago and she mentioned my brother.  I told her please don't get mad but I was done with my brother, I had given him 18 months and I had cried all the tears I was going to cry. She said she understood.  I didn't know your mom was closing you out.  You need to drop me a line and bring me up to date.

I owe you an email along with Markie and a few other I promise to update you when I get a chance. 

[Laurie]

 Hi Liz,

    I just want to say, your new avatar picture looks good. I thought the pink was nice but red is really nice on you.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[LizK]

Thanks Laurie

[LizK]

Its been a hectic couple of days getting ready for Xmas but I can say that at least people will get presents this year...don't know about a meal on Xmas day its next on the list of tasks but gifts are done!!

I must mention this whilst I remember...As many of you know I have a very difficult relationship with my parents....I recently updated my Avatar Pic on here and well as my Facebook page. As I was talking to Cindy the other night and a message pops up that my mother had commented on my new picture....it was with much trepidation that I looked and found an absolutely lovely comment on how nice I looked and how well the Red suited me...which is the first time since I came out to her over 2 years that I have seen a fully positive comment from her. I was so pleasantly shocked...I had no sooner gotten over this when I received a message advising my Father had sent me something. It amounted to him sending me private message saying how good I looked.

The negative part of me wants to try and tell me that they only responded in this way due to social awkwardness of not being one of the 50 people who commented or liked the new picture out of my entire family and friends...the positive side of me says, they are starting to make progress.

I like the positive stuff...so will stick with that.

Someone sent me some links to my surgeons handiwork and I was astonished at how great things looked after 3 weeks post op. For me it is still in the surreal basket...but under 12 months now. YAY

I seriously need to get this weight off LOL!!!

[LizK]

So here we go for the start of 2018.

Lets start with the way things are now.....

I have been "out" for just over 2 years...I am still married and have a fully supportive wife and daughters. My immediate extended family have feared a bit worse. I have lost my youngest brother, my parents are still hanging in there with me...only just. However our relationship  is so very different than what it was...there is something missing that I cannot put my finger on but I think is best represented by my mothers absence. I sometimes wonder why I keep making the effort because things just seem to deteriorate the further my transition goes no matter what I do or say...I have two other brothers, both of who, at this stage appear to be treating me as they did before transition and still respecting me. I am so happy that they are still in my life in this way..

Still no word on my sick Auntie, My father will be seeing her this week and will speak to me when he gets home.
I am stuck whilst I try and fix a minor hiccup in the passport application process.
I need to change my name in it, which again is no big hassle as they have my name change on record anyway and I can do this online which is far faster than the old paper based application but weirdly I cannot change the gender marker. I of course want the correct gender on my new passport which I can do by completing their paper based application and ticking the box that says F. When I go to the web site to search the information for online gender marker changes it directs me back to the paper based application...which of course takes longer and is more expensive....of course! I will call the passport office when they finally open tomorrow but I bet I know what their answer is. 

I have GRS coming this year (wow that sounds strange) and am working on losing about 9 kgs to meet the proper criteria for surgery...nothing a little discipline won't fix...I have these moments where I start to doubt myself...I don't know if this is normal or not but I think the "doubts" I have are just my way of reassuring myself that I have thought this surgery through. There is also a part of me that is beginning to realise that this is really going happen...imagine a  little girl bouncing up and down with excitement.

I am also In my last hours of Electrolysis. I am sure many of you can imagine the relief of actually getting to the point of knowing you are on the home stretch...Last session I had 200 hairs on my top lip lets see how many of the little buggers are back this time...I am kicking off this year with a session on my upper and lower lips after getting my 11th Dental block...

When I post this time next year I should be all done with my surgeries and hair removal. I may even be able to start thinking about putting that book together from the hours and hours of writings.

So Goals for 2018

Have and recover from GRS
Complete my Hair removal
Improve my voice...
Write my story...it is started

Hope everyone has a fabulous 2018                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Liz                                                                   

[LizK]

The passport stuff turned out as I expected...I have to do a paper based application and find someone to verify my photo's...I had already sent them to a friend in QLD for verification as I suspected this would be the passport offices response. It took me quite some time to find someone to do it but an old nursing friend stuck her hand up to help.

I have everything else I need assembled and once I have the paperwork back from my friend I have to sign a statutory declaration in front of JP for them to change my gender marker...what a load of rubbish. It will be a bit of a hassle to sort out but the end result will be worth it. Between that and my driver licence I will have 100+ points need to complete any kind of transaction that requires identity.