On being Liz

[LizK]

Thankyou ladies for the kind words.

Meryl's brother attacked her tonight verbally after she rang and asked to discuss the funeral arrangements. He made an assumption about what he thought she was going to say and we all know assumptions make an "ass out of u and me" The things he said to her were beyond nasty. In the end things have gotten so bad that we are leaving in about 3 hours to drive back to her home town about 4 hrs from here(she got home from there today at 6pm) and sort out the issues being created. I don't think I have ever experienced anything quite like it. I am stunned...the things he was saying are similar to the things his wife was screaming at Meryl about, whilst her mother lay dying in the bed they were standing beside.

Our plan is to get there and do the things we need to do to organise the funeral and then we are leaving. We will be back for the funeral later in the week or early next week unless things go completely pear shaped in which case we will have to stay.

We are hoping we can just get him to deal with the funeral arrangements amd then be on our way.

Liz

[Jayne01]

Liz, I am sorry things are getting nasty with family during this already stressful and emotional time. Sometimes personal issues need to be set aside for the greater good. I hope there can be some kind of cease fire for the funeral so you can each have a moment to grieve and say goodbye to your loved one.

My thoughts are with you and your wife.

Jayne

[davina61]

Give them a good old fashioned clip round the head, thoughts are with you and hope it sorts out OK

[Cindy]

Oh Liz, I am so sorry to here this.

Please give Meryl my love and support.

[Michelle_P]

Liz, I'm so sorry to hear this.  This drives home that while we can choose our friends, we cannot choose our families.  Unfortunately.

Michelle Paquette

[Laurie]

 Unfortunately that figures, Liz. I'm still available if you have a need to talk. I home it doesn't take long to get the arrangement settled and hope against hope the yelling and stone throwing stops. Remember fisticuffs is not ladylike.

Here for you Liz,

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Jessica]

Liz, I'm so sad to here this.  Family drama is the worst.

(((Big hugs)))

[LizK]

Thanks again to everyone for the great support. We got home about an hour ago and are absolutely shattered both physical and mentally.

The good news is we managed  to get through it and arrange the funeral. It took pretty much every negotiating skill I and the funeral director possess, just to keep the situation from exploding...after an hour at the funeral directors the conversations were strained but productive and without too much malice. At one stage my brother in law tried to leave because he felt he had been slighted but a quick reminder of his age soon had him sitting down...

We got through it and made it back home safely. The funeral will be in a week and I doubt there will be any more issues as we don't have to deal directly with them anymore. I found the whole scenario completely disrespectful to Meryls mum...disgusting. But as I said its done and organised....so this time next week we get to do the 700k round trip again but this time it will be to celebrate the her life and pay respects.

Will catch up with you all a bit more tomorrow after some sleep 

[Jayne01]

I'm glad you got to arrange the funeral without any major explosions.

Once again, you have my condolences and hope the day of the funeral allows you to remember and celebrate Meryl's Mum.

Jayne

[BeverlyAnn]

Oh Liz, my condolences to both you and Meryl.  I know how stressful that can be without any family rancor, much less with.  Please give Meryl my sympathies and if you need to vent, I'm here.  Hugs to both of you, hon.

[LizK]

Yesterday we put my mother-in-law to rest. The whole day was particularly stressful as I am sure you can imagine. To add another layer of stress the ceremony as agreed by my wife and her brother was not what happened and many things were changed without any consultation with her. It was disappointing and shameful. Neither of us made any comment or voiced our views to her toxic sister-in-law. It was a day to be respectful to my wife and her mother.

This is my first time in public in this small town,  as such it was a first for many of my wife's old friends and acquaintances. On the whole they were just delightful with me and put me at ease. Unfortunately there were a couple of things that were truly hurtful but to which I tried not to react. I had to physically restrain my daughter when she noticed a couple of women pointing at me and clearly finding my presence amusing...laughing and pointing is a bit of a give away. The thing that really got to me the most was being omitted from the family photo that was on display at the front of the venue during the ceremony which left me feeling pretty worthless. I was shocked and disappointed that they would be so deliberately hurtful. I know my mother-in-law would have been disgusted.

This has been an awful month with the deaths of two people who were close to me so I am hoping that is my lot for the year.

Today is about moving on and putting to bed all those feelings that were dragged up over the sad and disrespectrful fiasco that was yesterday. It was just awful in so many ways and certainly a long way from my mother-in-law's final wishes.

Tomorrow is about moving forward, staying positive and happy.

As I lead into my GRS at the end of the year I intend to document my feelings as I approach this monumental personal change in my life.

I want to share the joys, sorrows, happiness and just plain craziness that is life as a trans woman having surgery.



Quotes for today from "Wild words from wild women"

"I'm tired of people not treating me like the gify that I am"....Paula Abdul. American Idol

"Growth and comfort do not coexist"....Ginni Rommety, IBM CEO

[Cindy]

My thoughts are with Meryl, you and your daughters.

I think you have shown incredible character and self control.

My Love and Respect

[Jayne01]

I'm sorry yesterday was such a tough day. My condolences to you, your wife and daughters. I am sorry for your loss.

Jayne

[Shy]

Remember your mother-in-law with fondness and be there for each other to celebrate her life and memory, this is all that matters, this is what you are doing.

A big year coming up for you Liz, I'm sure we'll all benefit from your experience and wisdom as you journey towards GRS. Share what you want to share, keep private the things that are personal your soul. These can only ever be personal journeys so no pressure, although I have already ordered in a mega bucket of popcorn.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[Drexy/Drex]

Oh dear Liz so sorry to hear this  my condolences.....still you go forward  inspirational😊
Best wishs

[LizK]

My thoughts are with Meryl, you and your daughters.

I think you have shown incredible character and self control.

My Love and Respect

Thanks Cindy your kind words and thoughts have been passed on to Meryl who was touched by your generosity.

I'm sorry yesterday was such a tough day. My condolences to you, your wife and daughters. I am sorry for your loss.

Jayne

Thanks Jayne it was tough but I guess we have a choice to either lie down and let grief consume you however Meryl's mum would not have wanted that and I have deep respect for her. Thanks for you lovely thoughts

Remember your mother-in-law with fondness and be there for each other to celebrate her life and memory, this is all that matters, this is what you are doing.

A big year coming up for you Liz, I'm sure we'll all benefit from your experience and wisdom as you journey towards GRS. Share what you want to share, keep private the things that are personal your soul. These can only ever be personal journeys so no pressure, although I have already ordered in a mega bucket of popcorn.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Hi Sadie

Thanks you for your kind words and as usual I feel just a little better from coming here and seeing all these kind words. It is going to be one big year for me and I am terrified, happy and excited if that makes sense. I still expect something or someone to place an insurmountable issue in front of me to prevent it from happening...maybe just Healthy paranoia LOL

Oh dear Liz so sorry to hear this  my condolences.....still you go forward  inspirational😊
Best wishs

Thanks for your kind words Markie...more importantly how are you feeling? Hows the recovery going?.

[LizK]

Yesterday I received my final piece of ID, my passport with my new name and gender marker on it.

I was thrilled to get it although I really don't need it locally but if(when?) I need to travel I can now do it as me rather than the grumpy old man that used to inhabit this space. There is something about seeing that "F" that gives a girl a boost!!

Off to more genital zapping laser tomorrow...it does sting a bit in some places but at this stage the old saying "No Pain. No Gain" springs to mind 

Todays Quote from "Wild words from wild Women"

"My friends think I am crazy. But what am I going to do? Play mah-jomg?" Shoshanna Smith who took up the trapeze at age 58

[Drexy/Drex]

Way to go Liz ....darn right ...burn dont fade
😉😊

[Shy]

Good for you Liz I bet you were thrilled to finally get the official gender stamp.

Ouch, the idea of genital zapping scares me silly, not the part of the process i'm looking forward too. You however seem to be taking it all in your stride so I'll take courage from that.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[davina61]

They showed a bit of genital clearing on the Transformation Street program,  now I know they stick a needle in the root defo not looking forward to it. There's a lot of positivness around here so suck some up or is that soak? in it .