On being Liz

[AnonyMs]

Saturday I have speech therapy for the first time is quite awhile and this is to assess me for voice surgery.

Where are you looking at doing that?

[LizK]

We have a guy here in Adelaide who does laser surgery for  voice. I have a friend who had hers done and whilst she had her difficulties along the way she sounds all genuine female voice now...Pitches in the 270's average I will send you the details as soon as I get them if you want? Let me know


Take care

Liz

[AnonyMs]

Please send it a long. I'm curious, but I'd not go there. Sounds too risky to me.

[LizK]

Well what a day...As you can all see I have changed my display name to LizK. I have been meaning to do it for awhile and decided today was the day but unfortunately it was also the day that the name change process which normally works without issue decided to have one. Thanks to Cindy who got me back in. All is well


No walk today as I had an appointment at the Pain Management Clinic to have a top up on my pump. My pump is about to expire so we are prepping for that. I am going in to have it changed over for a new one on the 22nd of this month which is a week earlier that I thought they would. I know the nurse and Dr who are doing it and have managed to negotiate to be first on the list. I have to have a twilight anaesthetic...which is ok at least I am back in the land of the living within a couple of hours. I need to plan to have a week off walking till my sutures come out I would have thought. Biggest side effect of the pump replacement is the spinal fluid headache which if the Dr is skilled may last a few hours or if he fumbles could be 24-48 until lost fluid is replaced. One of the strange flip sides is that I am encouraged to eat chocolate and drink coffee....OH Dang I guess I can take one for the team LOL 

Because I missed my walk this morning I will definitely be going tomorrow. I have been consistently doing 7 ks a day for a couple of weeks now and a few days I have also completed 8ks...but tomorrow if the weather is ok (which it should be) I am going to make an attempt on 10ks. Based on my previous walks I should think this will take about 2 hrs. Its not going to be easy and I think I better fuel up before I do attempt it.

Tomorrow is also my appointment with a voice therapist. I want an assessment for laser surgery...I have a friend who had it done and she sounds good. It still took some hard work but she cannot speak in a deep voice at all even if she tries. She still sounds sightly hoarse and her surgery was 18months ago but each time I see her I notice how much better her voice sounds and even with a little huskiness her voice is still very fem. That's not till late tomorrow.


Will update quickly after my walk and then again after my voice therapy session...


Take Care

Liz


PS: 116d 11h 39m BWCA? 

[Drexy/Drex]

Wow that interesting Liz are you going to post some sound bites of before and after I've been trying interested in this for some time

[Nicole70]

I'm interested to see how you get on Liz, if you are impressed let us know I'll pm you to get some details if that's ok.

Nicole

[LizK]

Managed a 7k walk today but only just. My body was complaining about things and I tried to push through it however by about the 6th km it became apparent that my hip was seriously upset about being forced to walk this morning and was not going to co-operate for much longer. Quickly completeed my 7 ks and warmed down before being forced to rest it.... Save to fight another day!! I will do that 10Ks


My voice therapist was astounded with the progress I have made and we had a very frank and open discussion She has advised me that I will need to have surgery if I am to achieve the kind of goals I am talking about, My voice is limited to about max 220htz and starts toi crack and strain above this but worse is that my lows get as low as 120.I have increased my average pitch from 143 to 172 which is great but very limiting if you can't get above 220. She will write a report which will then get sent to my GP who can then make a referral to the specialist and I can have a look at what exactly is involved in the surgery. I will be able to provide more detail once I have an appointment with him.


So that was almost all of my saturday...one last piece but thats for a seperate post....

Take care

Liz

[Megan.]

Good work on the walk Liz, go easy on yourself. General wisdom is never increase distance by more than 10%/week. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[LizK]

Awhile back in March I had a meeting with my estranged brother regarding the issues between us. At the end of this meeting he agreed to think about a couple of things and get back to me. During this next 5 months he basically ignored me sending bits and pieces of information back through my father. I told my Dad three months ago I washed my hands of my brother, my father came back to me about a month ago and asked if I would think about speaking to my brother and I said I would think about it....This is the response I received after waiting 5 months for a response (from my brother)....I was soo upset when I read this

Hi

As per Dad's request I am acknowledging your Email.
I am able to meet up with you.
We are in the process of changing our Rosters therefore I will not be able confirm a day to meet until later on in the week ahead.

Cheers

R(fullname)

He deliberately didn't use my name...what a cowardly act...I was pretty upset by it, the email he refers to is one I sent about 3 months ago asking how he was and what he wanted to do since I hadn't heard from him and never got a response. So I sent him a reply that said...you have no reason to treat me like this, You have been rude and gaslighted me, you have made horrible accusations against me. If you wish to speak too, and treat me, with some dignity then I will be only to happy to sit and talk to you. If you are going to be a  brother to me  then I want you to be my brother otherwise..... you can "go away" and do not darken my doorstep again.

I declined his offer to meet me and said we will see how we go after a couple of email exchanges before I even think about a meeting. I told him I was fed up with his animosity towards me especially in light of his admission that he got the original accusation very very wrong....still waiting on an apology about that.....


I feel Ok now but it really did upset me when I first read the email and it was missing my name....what a coward.

Liz

[Northern Star Girl]

@LizK
Dear Liz:  I am so very sorry to hear of your difficulties with your brother.
Yes indeed, this is very upsetting to say the very least.
As you are undoubtedly know, even if it is not related to transgender issues you are not alone with having family issues, hopefully this can be some solace for you.
 
Even 4 years after I came out to my parents and family... and even some of my past very close personal friends.....  NONE of them accept me as "Danielle."
Infrequent phone calls and emails will either go unanswered or they will result in a brief and terse conversation.  The only family member that addressed me as "Danielle" was my mother when I called my parents last Christmas day.  That was the very first time ever.

This reminds me of an old adage that I have quoted previously on various threads around the forums:
           "If life doesn't deal us enough problems, we can always count on our own family"

So, please Liz, hang on and keep keeping on....   as you continue to relate well with your dad and other family ... develop a new circle of accepting friends and acquaintances that will start to ease the pain somewhat, but family or some family members not accepting us for any reason will always be like a nail in our hearts.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Laurie]

Hi Liz,

I read your post about your brother and I think I do know how much it bothered you. I agree with your response to him. He has a long ways to come to meet with you now. Well past halfway to make up for the past. Stand your ground and let him come to you.

  Here it is day two of living with Michelle on the road and I  am still in the car, so all is well... sort of... I think...maybe.

Hugs
  Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

[LizK]

@LizK

 
Even 4 years after I came out to my parents and family... and even some of my past very close personal friends.....  NONE of them accept me as "Danielle."
Infrequent phone calls and emails will either go unanswered or they will result in a brief and terse conversation.  The only family member that addressed me as "Danielle" was my mother when I called my parents last Christmas day.  That was the very first time ever.

...

......, but family or some family members not accepting us for any reason will always be like a nail in our hearts.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Hi @Alaskan Danielle and thank you for being so supportive. I know how much it hurts losing two family members but to have basically lost the lot must be incredibly difficult. There are so many times when we are reminded of them and being reminded is like a separate new hurt all of its own. It is so weird to mourn the loss of family and friends whilst they are still alive and something I don't think I will ever get used too. I will try and cultivate my relationship with my father. He has hung in there with me even when things have been really hard for us both and I admire him for doing it.

This email from my brother was designed to sabotage any attempt at a reconciliation. That is the final nail in the coffin that is our relationship and he made sure of that. As deeply as this hurts me I have to accept that this is the end result and there is nothing I can do about it. So be it.

Hi Liz,

I read your post about your brother and I think I do know how much it bothered you. I agree with your response to him. He has a long ways to come to meet with you now. Well past halfway to make up for the past. Stand your ground and let him come to you.

  Here it is day two of living with Michelle on the road and I  am still in the car, so all is well... sort of... I think...maybe.

Hugs
  Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Hi Laurie

I am so tired of it all. I am done with him....I don't actually know what I would say to him now if I ever got face to face with him. I don't want ,nor do I need, people like him in my life and I am no longer going to make any effort for him to remian in mine. You are so right when you say he has so much ground to make up just to be even. You can't get much more transphobic than refusing to use my name.


Glad to see there has been no bloodshed between you two and it sounds like you are both having a lovely time.


Thanks to you both for your replies

Take care
Liz   

[LizK]

Monday Morning Update

Drum roll please...todays official weigh in 95.6kg(210 pound) Which means I meet minimum surgical requirements as laid out by Dr Ives own literature 

Weight loss to date 11.5kg (25 pound)

I am now at goal weight for my surgery. My Dr seems to think Dr Ives Goal of 96Kg was about being 10%less than where I was and not about BMI I am seeking clarification from Dr Ives as I write this. It doesn't really matter as I am aiming at 80-85kg anyway but it still feels good to have this first goal I set under my belt. Onwards to the second one


Quiet week ahead of me nothing in the way of appointments. Bought a new Macro lens, a run out price old last model which was over $600 cheaper that the new model and 100 cheaper than its nearest rival. Cindy and I spent some time going through the specs last week and the lens I bought scores very well for a budget lens. Hope fully in the next couple of weeks her and I will be able to get together to do some photography. I need to find some time to learn how to use my new camera and lens but that should not be two hard as my light studio arrived on Friday.

Another 5ks this morning in the rain  . I knew I was going to get wet but I did not expect it to be so cold, I wanted to go to 7k I was feeling really fit but as I hit the 5k mark it began to rain even harder and I was already starting to get cold so I figured I would stop at 5ks before I caught sick and live to fight another day. I am having my new pump put in the week after next and I will then be restricted for at least a week to no walking whilst the wound recovers. I will be reliant on diet alone to help me lose weight and that could be a little trickier but something I will deal with at the time.

I forwarded my brothers email to my father and said thanks for your help but this email from my brother is the end result. I went on to say that my brothers issues have nothing to do with the accusations he made about me but more to do with his overall Transphobia. I told him I had responded to my brother saying if he wants to speak to me as a human being or wants to be my brother then no probs lets talk but if he want s to carry on then he can "get lost" and never darken my doorstep again. I apologised that things had turned out this way and that he had become involved at all.

Hopefully he will understand what has gone on here and if he doesn't I'll no soon enough and there is nothing I can do anyway.

Take care

Liz

[Nicole70]

Dear Liz,

Woohoo! Congratulations on achieving your weight loss milestone, walking in the rain? I wish I had your dedication I looked outside an thought nah not today! I did do a 6k walk yesterday though.

I'm sorry about your brothers response to you, it is very sad that we tend to lose loved one along our journey, I hope for you that some day he will get over his phobia and make amends. I have a similar issue with my sister so I have an idea of how you feel.

Great score on the camera lens, I bet you'll have lots of fun getting to learn how to use it and your new camera.

Hugs

Nicole

[KathyLauren]

Congratulations on your continuing weight loss.  Well done!

SOrry about the stress from your brother.  You are handling it the best way.

[HappyMoni]

Liz,
   Congrats on reaching your first goal. You are rocking this!

    Sorry you have a jerk for a brother. It is such a waste, and for what. I only had to chat with you once to see how awesome you are. People can be such...what's the 'down under' word for a**h#les?
Moni

[JudiBlueEyes]

Great news about achieving your weight goal!!!  Yeah!

I'm sorry to hear of your brother's issue with you and not being able to speak up.  Its his own fears that are holding him back.  Too bad for him.  As you note, your dad has been good and tried his best so be there for him.  Your relationship can blossom.   

Judi

[Jessica]

Hi Liz 🙋‍♀️ I do agree with the way you are dealing with your brother.  You have done all you should need to do and he has done none.  Until he becomes your brother again, there isn't much more you can do.  But might I stress that if you want to have your brother in your life, you must keep the channels open, otherwise things will never change.

It is wonderful that you accomplished your weight loss goal!
And in regards to the trouble you had with the profile name change.....
was it something I did wrong?  I have been known to make uncalculated errors.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[Jayne01]

Hi Liz,

I just got caught up on your thread after being away for a couple of weeks. Wow! You have been a busy girl.

Congratulations on reaching your first weight loss goal. That is a great achievement.

I'm so sorry things with your brother are not improving. You have done everything possible and more. Now it is entirely up to him if he chooses to rethink his behaviour and repair the damage he has caused to your relationship. (((Hug)))

You are also making progress with your voice training and preparation for possible voice surgery. My voice is something that really bothers me. It is one of the most dysphoric parts of me at the moment.

And the countdown to your surgery is quickly approaching double digits. How exciting!!!!

Keep up the great work on your weight loss and general fitness.

Hugs,
Jayne

[LizK]

Dear Liz,

Woohoo! Congratulations on achieving your weight loss milestone, walking in the rain? I wish I had your dedication I looked outside an thought nah not today! I did do a 6k walk yesterday though.

I'm sorry about your brothers response to you, it is very sad that we tend to lose loved one along our journey, I hope for you that some day he will get over his phobia and make amends. I have a similar issue with my sister so I have an idea of how you feel.

Great score on the camera lens, I bet you'll have lots of fun getting to learn how to use it and your new camera.

Hugs

Nicole

@Nicole70

Hi Nicole Thanks for the vote of confidence...The rain wasn't much fun as I am sure you know...its been cold here hasn't it!!! I am sorry to hear you have similar issues with your sister it does suck doesn't it. Many in this community have had the weird experience of having to grieve the loss of family members who are still alive but reject them for coming out. It is an experience unique to the LGBTQI+ community. I have been through this grieving process with my mother and now of late with my brother.
I am still working on learning my new camera but that is an ongoing project
Take care
Liz

Congratulations on your continuing weight loss.  Well done!

SOrry about the stress from your brother.  You are handling it the best way.

@KathyLauren

Thanks Kathy it certainly has been stressful but it won't last much longer and thankyou for your support.
Take care
Liz

Liz,
   Congrats on reaching your first goal. You are rocking this!

    Sorry you have a jerk for a brother. It is such a waste, and for what. I only had to chat with you once to see how awesome you are. People can be such...what's the 'down under' word for a**h#les?
Moni

@HappyMoni

Hi Moni you are a sweetheart...and by the way is there anyway we can have another chat. Would love to catch up and see how you are!! PM me and we can work it out if you want too. As far as appropriate names go I think you have it covered starting A and ending E 
Take care
Liz

Great news about achieving your weight goal!!!  Yeah!

I'm sorry to hear of your brother's issue with you and not being able to speak up.  Its his own fears that are holding him back.  Too bad for him.  As you note, your dad has been good and tried his best so be there for him.  Your relationship can blossom.   

Judi

@JudiblueEyes

Thankyou Judi  for your kind support. Yes my brother is a jerk and I think you are right it is his own fears. I agree with you whole heartedly the relationship between my father and I has been very difficult the last 3 years but of recent times has done a 180 with him calling me his daughter for the first time on out last call. I admire his tenacity and courage for hanging in there with me unlike my mother. I am not going to let my stupid brother get in the way of this new relationship just starting to develop with my father. Thanks for your support Judi  .
Take care
Liz

Hi Liz I do agree with the way you are dealing with your brother.  You have done all you should need to do and he has done none.  Until he becomes your brother again, there isn't much more you can do.  But might I stress that if you want to have your brother in your life, you must keep the channels open, otherwise things will never change.

It is wonderful that you accomplished your weight loss goal!
And in regards to the trouble you had with the profile name change.....
was it something I did wrong?  I have been known to make uncalculated errors.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Hi Jess

My brother crossed a line by using an insult that was specific and targeted, he knew how it sounded, what it meant and how much it would hurt me. I cannot allow this to continue to hurt me nor my family. I would however, like to have a relationship with the brother I know and love that lives inside of that poor smuck posing as my brother now.

The weight loss continues to be a positive for me and I will be soon approaching a level of weight I have not been at for many, many years maybe as far back as my nursing days in the 70's and 80's......then comes Shopping!!
Take care
Liz

Hi Liz,

I just got caught up on your thread after being away for a couple of weeks. Wow! You have been a busy girl.

Congratulations on reaching your first weight loss goal. That is a great achievement.

I'm so sorry things with your brother are not improving. You have done everything possible and more. Now it is entirely up to him if he chooses to rethink his behaviour and repair the damage he has caused to your relationship. (((Hug)))

You are also making progress with your voice training and preparation for possible voice surgery. My voice is something that really bothers me. It is one of the most dysphoric parts of me at the moment.

And the countdown to your surgery is quickly approaching double digits. How exciting!!!!

Keep up the great work on your weight loss and general fitness.

Hugs,
Jayne

@Jayne01
Hi Jayne
Thanks for the vote of confidence, having supportive people around you is always great. Yes I have a fair bit on my plate for the next 12 months. I have managed to contain much of my excitement  but I was looking at my spreadsheet on Sunday when I realised it was now a little over 6 weeks until I have my pre-surgery telephone appointment with Dr Ives. The next consult after this will be on the day of the op...from there it will be a straight 10 weeks till surgery so time is flying.

My voice really bothers me a lot as well. It has been suggested to me that my voice surgery should be the last one I have as intubation can damage the vocal chords. So if my plans come together it will be this time next year...much of that will depend on affordability which is an unknown till after November.

What was that you asked?? 112d 15h 12m BWCA?

Take care
Liz