Hey, Laurie, I haven't read your whole thread, but I've seen your last few posts and things sound awful. I'm really sorry you're going through all this. I'm on disability for depression and go through some really dark times myself, so I feel like I know where you're coming from. I'm not sure how your dr's appointment went, but I'd like to advise you to advocate for yourself in the mental health system. It can be really hard to do when you don't feel good, but in my experience it's the only way to get help. Only a very few, lucky people get an effective doctor and treatment regimen on the first try. Most have to try more than one medication level/type and sometimes more than one doctor. Antidepressants take time to work, so you have to be patient, but don't be too patient. If you've been on a medication for a few weeks and it's doing little or nothing for you, start insisting that the doctor make alterations. Don't be afraid to "bother" them by calling and giving them updates on how you're doing. Monitoring your mental health is their job. Most important, please don't get discouraged and give up if your first try at medication isn't successful. Keep at it until the clouds finally break. Your life has value and is worth saving.
Since I don't work, I'm around a lot if you ever need to talk. PM me any time you like.
