Here I go again :-(

[Rayna]

It seems there is a lot of things I need to work on accepting lately.

That's the statement of the week, of the month, of the year.  Not just for you -- for myself, for my family, for my friends, for the strangers in the street (or in my case, at Safeway).  Acceptance -- what we all want, what we all deserve, and what we all need to grant to others.  Well said.

Love,
Randy

[LizK]

Careful RandyL you will set me off on one of my self acceptance rants LOL ha ha

[JeanetteLW]

Careful RandyL you will set me off on one of my self acceptance rants LOL ha ha

  Do it Randy, I dare ya.

I could probably use a good lecture on the subject...... again.  **sigh**

Hugs,
    Laurie

[HappyMoni]

Laurie,
   I would feel weird if I found out people knew my secret. You have acted like nothing is going on for so long and you probably feel a bit betrayed that people knew. And yet, what could they have done with that knowledge, confront you? No it is a crappy situation.
   I wish you would get Jeanette her own picture. We could all sit back and watch you two fight with each other. Then again I don't recall seeing you two in the same room. Hmmmm. Is this like Superman and Clark Kent? Nahhh, neither of you wears glasses. Guess I was wrong.
   Shy, you had me rolling.
   Moni
   Is it too soon to tell you I knew you were trans ten years ago? Too soon?

[Cindy]

If you lot aren't careful you will set me off on my self reflections while dosed up on Endone in ICU and as Laurie Jeanette will recall they are not pretty reflections.

There is a time in the journey when you need to decide that you will draw a line. What is obvious to all of us and of course being obvious it is usually ignored, is that the past has gone; nothing will change it. You can never take back the hurtful word you said. You can never go back and put a coin in the beggar's bowl. You can never kiss a loved one farewell.
You live with your past and the only way to get over it is to accept it and decide to live for the present and the future. And maybe, just maybe, learn from what you did - or did not do.

There is no need to be sad or disappointed, rather it is a celebration of moving on from past feelings and regrets to present awareness and future hope.

That is called transitioning. All this physical change stuff is just the noise of the make over.

Did someone say ....?

[JeanetteLW]

You live with your past and the only way to get over it is to accept it and decide to live for the present and the future. And maybe, just maybe, learn from what you did - or did not do.

There is no need to be sad or disappointed, rather it is a celebration of moving on from past feelings and regrets to present awareness and future hope.

That is called transitioning. All this physical change stuff is just the noise of the make over.

Did someone say ....?

   Hi Cindy,

It always brightens me up when I see you responding to my nonsense. I hope those pain meds are working well but not knocking you out. You are too much a part of this site and peoples hearts here we can't go for long w/o our Cindy fix.

  (Big sigh) I guess that is what Ill have to do about the past is work on leaving it in the past where it belongs. I can't just forget it as it is part of me, but I can put it in a box and put it in the attic in case I ever need to pull it out for reference.
I like this "It is a celebration of moving on from past feelings and regrets to present awareness and future hope." That is a good thing to remember as it directs our focus forward to new and better times. For us it is a new beginning. A rebirth if you will. (well it kinda fits with this puberty thing) Even the word transition fits in here.

  And no you did NOT hear anything! You're imagining things again. Are you sure you took only the prescribed dosage of those pain meds? Forgot and accidentally took a second dose? Maybe it was something about makeup you heard.

Hugs and luvs ya much Cindy,
   Laurie

[JeanetteLW]

  Lest I forget..

        God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
        Courage to change the things I can,
        And wisdom to know the difference.

[LizK]

  Do it Randy, I dare ya.

I could probably use a good lecture on the subject...... again.  **sigh**

Hugs,
    Laurie

No I think Cindy covered it nicely....

"Cindy"

That is called transitioning. All this physical change stuff is just the noise of the make over.

I am with Cindy, the stuff that happens between your ears is what will make you the happiest.

Liz

[LizK]

   Now now Liz,   This too shall pass.

  I have hugs for you to make it all better.  HEY! I have an idea... why not got get a makeover?
  Wouldn't that be fun?

  Hugs,
   Laurie

Indeed it will pass and already has....having a 30 minute grudge match with her tomorrow...me and my Emla cream 

HEY! I have an idea... why not got get a makeover?

What a fabulous idea Laurie, we couldn't entice Jeanette into the pleasures, so come on Laurie it was such a great suggestion of yours.

[Shy]

  Yesterday afternoon I told an Old friend I used to work with. He and I banter with each other on facebook, much like I do with Mon eeee, Liz, and others of you here on Susan's place. Well I don't think he believes me and thinks I am pulling his leg about it. I'm almost sure he's expecting a "Gotcha" from me if he goes along with it. Boy is he really in for a surprize when he finally discovers it's true.

  I also told a niece of mine ( the sister I live with daughter that live in PA ) She tells me she has known I crossdressed for a long time having been told pre 1994 and later by my mom. I'm not sure about here memories though. either she is wrong about the first one or I have been the talk of the family for a long, long time. That kinda bothers me.
  Anywho, she's okay with it and has a friend a bit older than her that is trans and if I got it right has newly started HRT. We are now FB friends and if the friend is not already part of Susan's, I will try to stear her to us.

   Hugs to all,
   Laurie

So Laurie, you think you're being all stealthy and everyone knows, you stop being all stealthy and they don't believe a word you utter. You just can't win I tells ya! Best just be yourself I say, these Cis lot are a strange, fickle bunch

PS. Just a reminder you only have a few more hours left on you 'get out of a M***O***' card and you'll have to apply for a re-issue through the proper channels if you want an extention

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[JeanetteLW]

So Laurie, you think you're being all stealthy and everyone knows, you stop being all stealthy and they don't believe a word you utter. You just can't win I tells ya! Best just be yourself I say, these Cis lot are a strange, fickle bunch

PS. Just a reminder you only have a few more hours left on you 'get out of a M***O***' card and you'll have to apply for a re-issue through the proper channels if you want an extention

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

  Yeah Sadie, my friend is a strange one for sure and it's looking like he may have been missed by my ex when she was outing me to everyone she could. Else I think he would have believed me. We have been friends for decades now and I guess my stealth has been good in his case. Well if he doesn't believe me now he is in for another surprise later when he and everyone else has to believe me.

   You say I can get a renewal on the contract? I guess I'd better because that thing isn't happening anytime soon. How much will renewing cost me?

  Hugs,
   Laurie (I should request a name change sometime too I guess)

[Shy]

   You say I can get a renewal on the contract? I guess I'd better because that thing isn't happening anytime soon. How much will renewing cost me?

  Hugs,
   Laurie (I should request a name change sometime too I guess)

I think the official currency is a hug. I've just looked back through your posts and it seems you're already have a lot of credit with everyone so you're off the hook for now

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[JeanetteLW]

  Hi folks,

  With all this recent talk about colonoscopies along with a comment about needing it done at 3 years instead of 5, I started feeling guilty about not scheduling my recommended 3 year procedure. It is right there in my record and in the wellness reminder part of it too and I let is slide waiting for someone at the VA to notice it. My last one was done in Oct 2013 so I'm about 7 months over due.  Today I broke down and sent my doctor a message asking about it.
  I also have an appointment at the location where my primary doc is that isn't clear if it is to see him or for hormone  labs that he had said he would request at 3 months. The appointment is on the 22nd which would be 4 months so it occurred to me that it could be for a consult after the lab results are returned. (labs get ordered and frequently no notice of it is given. They are not usually scheduled per se) So I also asked him to clarify it for me.
  I also included a plug for an increase in estradiol and addition of progesterone again after labs are done. Can't blame a girl for trying.

  On another subject I decided to request a name change to Laurie or if it is not available Laurie Jeanette.

  Yesterday was mostly a male mode day as I was asked to help a friend retrieve her belonging from storage and transport then to her new apartment. She needed the use of my pickup as none of her other helpers had one. I asked her if I should show up in my white turtle neck, skinny jeans and stiletto boots. (She knows about me obviously), She said she didn't care what I wore as long as she got use of my vehicle. But since none of the others helping knows I chickened out and went in male mode. I did leave my nails long with clear polish on them. (Got to have something...)  I think she thinks I am getting old as she kept telling me "your not supposed to be carrying things" and "let Jeff and Robert carry that one"  She might just be right though. things seem a bit heavier now and going up and down those stairs had me huffing and puffing in just a short time.  *sigh* I think the note about "severe emphysema noted" on my last CT scan may mean something...  She fed us pizza which tasted good but the 3 slices and a bread stick with root beer to drink may have affected my blood sugar reading this morning as it was 159 when it is normally under 100. yes, yes I know better carbs and calories, carbs and calories...
  That's about all that is going on for now.

  Hugs,
    Laurie

[p]

LAURIE!!! Look at you with your new name and your ever-widening circle of friends and family who know and accept the real you. I turn my back for a few days and all of a sudden there is a new girl in town! I am so excited that things have been going well with your sister and that you've been able to let your hair down more around the house. And as much as you protest, I know you are thinking about where and when you can make your next outing en femme.
Just a little update from me--I had my first doctor's appointment yesterday and did my bloodwork, hoping that I can get hormones in a month or two! Also first therapy appointment coming up next Thurs. I'm very excited to take some of these steps. You always shrug it off when I say that you inspire me, but I'm not sure you really appreciate how important your openness and honesty is to a lot of people on the site whether or not they post (or even register). More than once you have given voice to something I was feeling, and you're a good sport to put up with all of the advising and cajoling and poking and prodding you get in return for sharing so openly. Hugs!, P

[JeanetteLW]

Awwww Thank you p,

  I think you have to be my biggest fan, not that I'm a celebrity or anything (applause, applause). I think you give me too much credit. Just look at What Liz is doing with her official name change trials and tribulations. Or Kathy with her recent going full time, she's put it if high gear and going strong. Or Sadie, going shopping for a wig and finding a salon she likes, or how about that Ashley with her new found stability and feeling good in her skin for once by accepting she's a woman and becoming happier all the time.
  And don't forget your self, discovering yourself and making your appointment (now done) in order to begin the process of getting your HRT meds so you can hope on the hormone rollercoaster with all of us. Then your gender therapist appointment next Thursday. The only advice I can give you there is that it isn't such a scary thing, you'll be fine. And to just be yourself and be honesty with him or her. How else are they going to have a chance at helping you with the things you have problems with. At the very least they are good listeners.
   These are two big steps you are taking girl, big steps. I'm proud of you, p. You've got this, own it.

  Hugs,
    Laurie

[davina61]

not a celeb!!!! sure I saw a slab with a star on it with your name (or was that hugh laurie ?) put on your high heels and walk that red carpet girl. Good luck at the Docs and well done with the folks at home.
PS rang my dentist and as I have not been for a couple of years they have taken me off there list so that leaves me with no dentist I can go to as no one is taking on new patience , emergency dentist then

[JeanetteLW]

PS rang my dentist and as I have not been for a couple of years they have taken me off there list so that leaves me with no dentist I can go to as no one is taking on new patience , emergency dentist then

  Well poop Davina, that wasn't helpful at all. But you must go get that tooth taken care of. You can't keep drowning it in bourbon. Good luck finding someone to fix it.

   Hugs.
     Laurie

[HappyMoni]

   They say the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I disagree cause I saw the real thing on this thread. Laurie, are you not saying that you would rather do a colonoscopy than  a makeover?  Now that's crazy!
Moni

[JeanetteLW]

   They say the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I disagree cause I saw the real thing on this thread. Laurie, are you not saying that you would rather do a colonoscopy than  a makeover?  Now that's crazy!
Moni

  Now Moni (as in Tony, Tony fo fony fee fi fo fony... Moni !!)

   I would have to answer yes to that question.  With my history with cancer missing a colonoscopy could kill me whereas not going for that "M" word won't.  Goofball , ANYONE would choose the beneficial one over the "M" word.
  And just who do you think you are calling me crazy?

  BTW My doc did answer me.

  On the colonoscopy he referred me to my oncologist as she is my cancer expert and better able to make that decision. I see here again on my glow in the dark (CT scan) day 5/15/2017  a week from Monday.
  On the increase of my HRT there is hope yet... No changes in estradiol will be entertained until after labs drawn on 5/22/2017 and the results come in. He also said no progesterone until I am on a full dose of estradiol. So if you read between the lines... I am not at a full dose of estradiol yet so increases are likely. When is the question.  

  So there Miss Moni  You have your answer.

  Hugs,
     Laurie

[HappyMoni]

Aghhh, you called me Ms. Moni, it makes me feel warm and  fee, phi, foe fuzzy. I guess I do understand, I  would rather do a colonoscopy than listen to country music. Hey we could start a new thread of what we hate worse than a colonoscopy. We could bring Susan's to a new low. Nahhhhh!

Looks like we will both visit the doctor on May 15th. I have my pre-op physical that day. In no way am I comparing my situation with your history with cancer, but I am still scared that they will find some reason to stop my surgery. Here's to good luck for us both.

Moni 
If I am a goofball, you are crazy.  I think I could get a few people on this thread to back me up.