Here I go again :-(

[HappyMoni]

Messing about on the river eh? All dressed up eh? Seeing invisible white rabbits eh? Stomping through groups of strangers eh?

Good for you for getting the exercise in, physically and mentally. Never a dull moment for us girls eh?

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

No one said he was 'white' Sadie. How do you know that? And yes Cindy, he does drive a red sports car. Hey wait a minute, I think my rabbit has been stepping out on me. What's the world coming to when you can't trust your own pooka.
   Michelle and Laurie, pictures are awesome. Laurie, the first time you are called 'Ma'am' you will love it. Has it happened yet, Ma'am?
   Laurie, doctor got my check, they accepted my labs and pre-op results, and in a few days it will be a month away.
   Hi to all!
Moni

[HappyMoni]

I've been mostly away for awhile, but fun to touch base and see what is going on in this thread.  I'm glad to see the biting ("joking" ha) has subsided. You people are all such supportive, positive people, even when you pretend not to be.

Laurie, I'm looking forward to your trip, whenever it happens (as long as it's not after July 3, when I have my own trip).  Moni, good luck with the surgery anticipation.

Getting out in the world, lady, you are doing it!  Yes, terrifying, but as Michelle says, most people really aren't paying attention to you.  I've had the same feeling, and nobody has yet said a word.
Randy

Thanks Randy! Missed you!
Moni

[Georgette]

Laurie

Good to see you getting exercise and just a little getting used to the idea of being out there.  I can understand most of the fears in the first year or so. 

I was lucky that I had a couple of friends to share with.  We went to clubs at night on the weekends.  But I worked shift work a lot and started to go out in the daytime.  It was a very scary time.  People would sometimes gawk or I would hear comments.  But it was something I had to do.

I would steel myself and my confidence would grow over time.  I think ones confidence makes all the difference.
Even later after SRS I would have apprehension when just meeting men, as I am told I looked pretty good.  A lot of men look at a nice looking woman and would wine and dine you at times.

Nowadays it can be good or bad, depending on where you live.  Back then there were so few of us, people didn't much think about it.

[Laurie]

   Michelle and Laurie, pictures are awesome. Laurie, the first time you are called 'Ma'am' you will love it. Has it happened yet, Ma'am?
   Laurie, doctor got my check, they accepted my labs and pre-op results, and in a few days it will be a month away.
   Hi to all!
Moni

  Hi Moni,

Is it just me or do you seem rushed lately? Hey! Made your down payment, submitted the title request with proof of oil change and other maintenance! 
  WoW! You're all set, poise ready to go. Start the count down! Moni is about to launch!! Stand back and watch the sparks fly!!
  Getting butterflies yet?


  No Ma'am. No one has Ma'amed me yet nor used she/her or even it other than my gender therapist. I have had two ask what name I wanted them to use and I've told them as long as I am presenting male my male name will be it. That is what I told my therapist too but that day I showed up dressed he used Laurie to me and her/she in his reports. I must admit it felt weird hearing it and seeing it in writing. Not good or bad just weird.

  No walk tonight. I'm taking it easy as I have a red sore spot next to my big toe nail that may be trouble brewing as the nail is grown in somewhat there and I think it may have cut a bit from all the walking lately. It is at least aggravated  some from the walking. I've walked over 12 miles since Sunday. That's a little more than my 0.02 mile cold / wet weather average.
  I did however wander to and fro in the apartments with earrings, bra, guy t shirt (yes the boobs are noticeable now, especially with the bra ), women's jeans and woman's athletic shoes and socks. no wig or makeup though. But I had to come and go doing laundry (3 loads), checking mail, etc with contract workers doing their thing all around. None of them said a thing that I know of. By the time I was done they no longer bothered me by their being there.
  I'm in fuzzy grow mode getting ready for 2 hours on Saturday so outings will be curtailed until I can shave again.
  Uneventful day for the most part.

hugs,
    Laurie

[Laurie]

Laurie

Good to see you getting exercise and just a little getting used to the idea of being out there.  I can understand most of the fears in the first year or so. 

I was lucky that I had a couple of friends to share with.  We went to clubs at night on the weekends.  But I worked shift work a lot and started to go out in the daytime.  It was a very scary time.  People would sometimes gawk or I would hear comments.  But it was something I had to do.

I would steel myself and my confidence would grow over time.  I think ones confidence makes all the difference.
Even later after SRS I would have apprehension when just meeting men, as I am told I looked pretty good.  A lot of men look at a nice looking woman and would wine and dine you at times.

Nowadays it can be good or bad, depending on where you live.  Back then there were so few of us, people didn't much think about it.

  Hi Georgette,

  Yeah I know about that nerving fear. I feel it whenever I approach someone or have to make my way through a group of people when I'm out walking.  I'm working on it though. It's going to take time.

  I don't have friends close by. Don't have many friends at all for that matter. So I have to do this by myself for the most part. That's okay I'm used to it. I've been a loner for a long, long time. I honestly think I would prefer to have been a hermit if I could have. Living alone away from others is a good defense against hurt. Hurt for oneself, and from hurting others. If you don't let others get close to you they cannot hurt you. But then when someone does get close, even their caring for you can hurt. Better to just keep  people away. Enough of that nonsense!

  I worked on some of that public fear today and it's in the previous post.

  Thanks for the pep talk Georgette, I hope you are doing well with your partying friends. Make sure you get enough sleep. You're not as young as you used to be you know.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Georgette]

Laurie

Taking a needed night off, plus we have some big storms come through and didn't feel like going out in them.

Being a hermit is not a way to live ones life.  I was that way when young, figured if no one got close to me no one would know about my gender confusion.  Don't know if you have any TG/TS support groups nearby, but they can be a wealth of knowledge and support.

But I met someone, another MtF (later to become partners for 38 years), we went through all this together.  HRT - social transitioning - got our ears pierced at the same time - Name change - coming out to family and work - SRS about 5-6 months apart.  We always had each others back through good and bad.

Since she died in 2014 I am facing an uncertain future, but don't want to become a hermit again.  I have met many new TS and CDs and many in the LGBT community.  I have one Pre TS friend (I call her a kid because she is just 1-2 years younger), and we have become close girl BFF I hope.  We can talk about everything/anything.  She is fun to be with and I get her to open up to her fears and push her to be more outgoing.  She has been on HRT for a couple of years now.

Oh and by the way, I tend to be a nit picker, and you have used the name Georgia a couple of times.  I know my name is long at times but I worked hard for that name and don't like nicknames, and have found it to be very uncommon if not rare.  A lot of people I meet remember it from my outings at the clubs (almost like Cher one name).  I'm sure you don't do it on purpose, and no need to apologize.  You still seem to be finding your name, and when you do legally change it you will be proud of it.

[Shy]

Good morning Laurie

Have a lovely day

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[Laurie]

you have used the name Georgia a couple of times. ...  I worked hard for that name and don't like nicknames, and have found it to be very uncommon if not rare.  A lot of people I meet remember it from my outings at the clubs (almost like Cher one name). ....... I'm sure you don't do it on purpose, and no need to apologize.

Good morning Georgette.

  You may not think I need to apologize but I do. The fact that you mentioned it tells me I should.
   I am sorry about shortening your name.

Your name is not too long and it is not due to laziness that I shortened it, Nor was I trying to us a nickname for you. I know all about disliking nicknames. I detested growing up being  called Len, Leo,or the worst one Lenny. I hated it!
  You are correct that I don't do it on purpose. I tried to think back to when I may have called you Georgia and I could not! So I went looking and sure enough it is right there in my last response to you, big as life!
   To be honest with you I have become worried about things like this. I have noticed other thing that concern me in regards to typing on the keyboard. My typos for instance are very frequently made by my fingers hitting the letter next to the one I want. And this is with me looking right at the keyboard as in 40+ years of using keyboard in working and at home I never learned to type. Another thing is I swear my fingers have a mind of their own in that they will type words that I was not thinking of typing at all as I type something. It happens enough that I fear there may be something going on in my head I don't want to know about.
  I assure you Georgia was not what I meant to type. Given what I've seen it is likely to happen again and I am sorry for doing it if it does happen. Now that I am aware I am doing it , I will try to be more vigilant.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Laurie]

Good morning Laurie

Have a lovely day

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Why Thank you Sadie.  That was sweet of you to do.

Alas I'm not so thoughtful and doing such things seldom cross my mind if ever.
It could very well be my innate lack of social skills

  I wish you a good morning and a very good day also my friend. ((( Hug)))

Laurie

[KathyLauren]

   To be honest with you I have become worried about things like this. I have noticed other thing that concern me in regards to typing on the keyboard. My typos for instance are very frequently made by my fingers hitting the letter next to the one I want. And this is with me looking right at the keyboard as in 40+ years of using keyboard in working and at home I never learned to type. Another thing is I swear my fingers have a mind of their own in that they will type words that I was not thinking of typing at all as I type something. It happens enough that I fear there may be something going on in my head I don't want to know about.

I know all about the weird typos!  I make a few that are just poor coordination, such as when I hold down the Shift key too long with my pinkie and get several letters capitalized.  But a lot of my typos are phonetic!!  I'll type F instead of V, T instead of D, or P instead of B, or vice versa.  F and V, I could see as a finger slip, but P and B??  That's just weird! 

It makes me wonder if I am missing a few marbles. 

[Laurie]

I know all about the weird typos!  I make a few that are just poor coordination, such as when I hold down the Shift key too long with my pinkie and get several letters capitalized.  But a lot of my typos are phonetic!!  I'll type F instead of V, T instead of D, or P instead of B, or vice versa.  F and V, I could see as a finger slip, but P and B??  That's just weird! 

It makes me wonder if I am missing a few marbles.

Hi Kathy,

  You remind me of the one I forgot. I can almost understand the  letter next to the one I want, or even typing a word I didn't intend... but then there are the gibberish of letters that have no place in the word I intended to type and are no where near the letters I wanted.  I can spell fairly well and even look up words to check spelling if I am unsure, but some of these defy reason.  That's why I fear there could be a medical cause.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Shy]

Hi Kathy,

  You remind me of the one I forgot. I can almost understand the  letter next to the one I want, or even typing a word I didn't intend... but then there are the gibberish of letters that have no place in the word I intended to type and are no where near the letters I wanted.  I can spell fairly well and even look up words to check spelling if I am unsure, but some of these defy reason.  That's why I fear there could be a medical cause.

Hugs,
   Laurie

I think it's called getting old Laurie. Yup it happens to the best of us
Often I type letters diametrically opposite on the keyboard. "L" becomes "A" for instance. I also put a teabag in the washing machine and detergent in my teacup. I end up in a rooms with no idea how I got there and loose time sometimes, but I blame that on aliens and their damn probes.  

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[Laurie]

I think it's called getting old Laurie. Yup it happens to the best of us
Often I type letters diametrically opposite on the keyboard. "L" becomes "A" for instance. I also put a teabag in the washing machine and detergent in my teacup. I end up in a rooms with no idea how I got there and loose time sometimes, but I blame that on aliens and their damn probes.  

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Hi Sadie,

"I also put a teabag in the washing machine and detergent in my teacup. ?

   I'm not that bad! I did put ocean saltwater in the Ops office coffee pot once. The commander was not pleased but  the division watch didn't have to make the morning's coffee we were not allowed to partake of any more. His yeoman got the job from there on out.
Getting older is a possibility I suppose though I'm not ready to accept that yet.

Aliens probing? Sounds a bit kinky to me. I don't allow those that visit me to do such things.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Shy]

Glad I'm not the only one who goes around with tea coloured undies an coughs bubbles

Geez you mind Laurie, I was referring to brain probes. Any funny business and them aliens get sent right back to the forbidden planet. With a hug mind you and possibly a nice cup of soapy tea.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[p]

Hey Laurie! You were asking how things are going, so I thought I would offer a little update [editor's note: it has grown to novella-length...you asked for it, L!]. I had a couple of firsts last weekend--first time out to dinner & theater on Saturday since coming out. I did a blowout on my hair for the first time and did a full face of makeup. I wore this little poncho-ish boat-neck top I have--really not sure what to call it, a cape, maybe?--with my black jeggings and black heels. My mother-in-law and I were waiting for the rest of our party to arrive and we were asking if we "ladies would like a drink from the bar while we wait?" I was about ready to call it a night then--mission accomplished, right? Dinner was good, then off to the theater. You would have thought I was the main attraction in the lobby of the theater--a much older crowd there and I was drawing many stares. My clothes and makeup were very conservative, but I think I unfortunately still draw quite a bit of attention, perhaps due to my lack of certain attributes in the chest area. Perhaps they are drawn in by my good looks and only linger once they discover something seems a little off? My husband likes to tell me that at least. At any rate, I was glad to take my seat. Show was great, so overall a good night.

I had my first outing in a dress last Sunday--went out for brunch in Brooklyn with some friends who were visiting for the weekend. The dress is a belted chambray shirt-dress with a lovely full skirt. I could almost convince myself that I had hips & a tush. I paired it with pearl necklace & earrings (imitations, of course) and nude wedges. We wandered over to a bar by the water and had a couple of drinks. It was lots of fun and the dress was a totally new experience. Made me want to sing "I feel pretty..." We were in the Williamsburg area, so no one batted an eyelash--just a boring trans lady among the daring dressers and sundry creative types of Brooklyn. Ended up walking 2 miles in heels, though, and then standing on the bus for a half hour on the way home, so my dogs were barking by the end of the day.

Just booked travel for this summer. Will be visiting my small, conservative hometown for the first time since coming out. I am a little nervous about that, especially since I am not out on social media where most of my hometown friends & I keep up with each other. After the trip home, it's off to Maine  7/22 - 29, would love to catch up with you there if the timing works with your trip. The city we go to is very popular with the LGBTQ crowd.

Rereading this, I have to just say that I am not as terribly spoiled as this post makes me sound--this is basically all the fanciest stuff that happens in my life wrapped up into one post! Most weekends it's just me and the hubby at home, and we almost never eat out or buy drinks (we are frugal to a fault--on previous trips to NY we have packed PBJs and our own liquor; classy, I know!). But at any rate, I was a fancy lady for a weekend and it felt good for the most part. One of these days I will work up the nerve to post a photo--they really are worth a thousand words.

Hugs,
P

[Laurie]

 Hi p,

  It sounds like you had a "Marvelous" time. I'm sure the attention was not the negative attention you think it was. Your outfit for Saturday sounded nice and likely appropriate for the evening out. Sunday also sound to be a good day with friends and I can understand you feeling being out in a nice dress. (Someday I'll have to try it) I just bought a nice white chiffon top white a black of navy floral  silhouette print and a black skirt with the same print in white. Together they make a nice outfit if I wear my black heels, some evening makeup, and a bit of bling. If only I had somewhere to wear it. *sigh*
  A trip back to your hometown sounds interesting, I hope that goes really well for you but I'll bet it's making you a bit apprehensive. You can do it and it should be fun for you too.

Thank you for filling me in on your escapades. ((Hug))

Hugs,
   Laurie

[p]

Yes I'm sure trip to hometown will be fine--things are always worse in my imagination than they end up being in real life.

That sounds like a really lovely outfit you just bought. And as for a place to wear it, I'm sure the ladies of Susan's could suggest certain activities--you're practically begging us to dare you out of the house for a night on the town (or even out for a dreaded m-word!) 

Big hugs!,
P

[Laurie]

Yes I'm sure trip to hometown will be fine--things are always worse in my imagination than they end up being in real life.

That sounds like a really lovely outfit you just bought. And as for a place to wear it, I'm sure the ladies of Susan's could suggest certain activities--you're practically begging us to dare you out of the house for a night on the town (or even out for a dreaded m-word!) 

Big hugs!,
P

OMG p!! Don't you go starting another quest or go giving these nags ideas. ** eyes roll ** I thought you were on my side. ** sigh **

  Hugs,
   Laurie

[Shy]

Did someone mention the "M" word, did they? did they? I'm sure I got a ping on the "M"dar. Time to give Laurie a nudge once she gets back from sticking her head in a bees nest for two hours.
And look at what p's been up to, going out all dressed up in her glad rags.

Hi Laurie, how dit go at the electrocutioner?

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie.

[Georgette]

Morning/Afternoon Laurie

This thread/topic has given me a chance to get to know others here in a fun/joking style.

Did not mean to make a big deal on name.  The only people I let slide on nicknames is family.  To most all there I am Georgy.  After coming out to my mother/family my mother would sing that song "Georgy Girl", it is actually an apropos song for me, I never really talked to her about it but feel she was very happy for me.  It explained all my younger/teen years confusion, and I took control of my life.

But in our family we use similar nicknames for all.  Have had 2 friends where usage in chat and such refer to me as GP or GG.  The GP comes from fn/mn Georgette Paula, the GG is from the hard consonant accents in name.

I understand the problems with typos.  I got nail extensions/acrylic (close to 1/2 inch now) last year and my typing skills have suffered considerably.  I went to Catholic grades 1-8, and the sisters/nuns were tough on spelling/grammar.  It will take me forever when typing stuff, as I go over things multiple times looking for errors.

I don't intend to give up on helping you to get out there and enjoy your life.  Have many friends now that are just starting out, and the only thing I can help with is the getting out and support.  Many (from 20s-60s) have said that my life gives them hope and inspiration in proceeding.