Here I go again :-(

[jentay1367]

We'll make it happen, Girl!

[KathyLauren]

   I just got his response and I can tell you I cried to find out that he doesn't hate me now nor does it sound like it will affect our friendship.

Don't you love it when someone surprises you for the best and the fears dissolve?  I have had that happen, and it is so beautiful that tears are inevitable.  Good choice of friends!

[Laurie]

Don't you love it when someone surprises you for the best and the fears dissolve?  I have had that happen, and it is so beautiful that tears are inevitable.  Good choice of friends!

  Yes Kathy it is a wonderful thing to be surprised in that way.

I see you updated your avatar picture. It looks good.

Hugs,
    Laurie

[Devlyn]

Don't you love it when someone surprises you for the best and the fears dissolve?  I have had that happen, and it is so beautiful that tears are inevitable.  Good choice of friends!

  Yes Kathy it is a wonderful thing to be surprised in that way.

I see you updated your avatar picture. It looks good.

Hugs,
    Laurie

Ditto, Kathy, love the new pic! You look great, and very happy. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[KathyLauren]

I see you updated your avatar picture. It looks good.

Ditto, Kathy, love the new pic! You look great, and very happy. 

Thanks, you two!   

[coldHeart]

You seem to have a little sparkle in your new avatar photo Kathy. Sara

[Michelle_P]

You seem to have a little sparkle in your new avatar photo Kathy. Sara

Yeah.  She's getting cuter.  Full-time life agrees with her.

[KathyLauren]

You seem to have a little sparkle in your new avatar photo Kathy. Sara

Yeah.  She's getting cuter.  Full-time life agrees with her.

Thank you both!  I have to agree that full-time life certainly does agree with me.  I love it!

[Georgette]

Laurie

Sorry we couldn't meet.

If you had given me a day before notice, I could have gotten up early (which for me is around 9 am).  Fridays and Saturdays are busy days for me getting ready to go out clubbing.  It was good talking to you on the phone.

I will look for your narrative of your trip. 

Georgette

[Laurie]

Laurie

Sorry we couldn't meet.

If you had given me a day before notice, I could have gotten up early (which for me is around 9 am).  Fridays and Saturdays are busy days for me getting ready to go out clubbing.  It was good talking to you on the phone.

I will look for your narrative of your trip. 

Georgette

Georgette,

   I too would have like things to have worked out differently and been able to meet with you. I believe had I given you more notice or had I been willing to stay another night you would have had me out at all hours partying with you and your friends. Though I really wanted yo meet you I was already on overload with the exposure to the DC metro and surrounding area. To hectic with all to much humanity for me. I really cannot understand how you and Terri do it. I needed to retreat.
   Sorry I failed to make it work for us Georgette.
  Hugs,
    Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

[Laurie]

Evening folks,
   
  Laurie here but you knew that. Now that my road trip has come to an end I will be continuing the life and times of Laurie here.  I  wrote a rather long winded wrap up to my trip on that thread and if you would like to read it the thread can be accessed here ..
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,224341.new.html#top

I will not repeat what I wrote there except to say thank you to all that had a part in making it so wonderful for me.

I feel a very different person returned home from it than the one that left on it a month ago. I have had several people remark that I seem happier as Laurie than I was before. I guess being trans agrees with me as I continue working to accept who I am.

  Honey! I'm home!

  Hugs,
   Laurie

[Laurie]

Hi again folks,

  Here I am just returned from the best road trip of my life thanks to all of you who had a part in it. I'm feel good , upbeat and ready to take on the world talking about trying to continue on as Laurie full time. I'm taking out the trash, checking mail, and walking around in my apartment and all is well with the world.
Then I went to the store to do a little grocery shopping. I immediately noticed several other shoppers clock me and whispering to the others they were with, who in turn tried to sneak looks at me themselves. Not just one or two but 3 or 4 groups Gosh I wouldn't have been surprised to see little children running off screaming to their mothers except there weren't any that I saw. All the way across country and back, at gas stations, restaurants, in stores on trains and not once did I see this occur and in one grocery store I caused not one or two but at least 3 and maybe 4 such commotions. Had this happened before going on the road trip I do not think I would have traveled as Laurie and may not have even met everyone as myself. Had it happened before it would have ruined my resolve to at least start out as Laurie and meet Jane and Randy as I did. I am pretty sure of it.
   But it did not happen before my trip and because of that I came home better prepared to not let it bother me too much. I cannot say it didn't bother me because it did. But it wasn't enough to stop shopping and flee from the store. I checked out with a young man who was polite and professional pleasantly inquiring if I had found what I wanted and other politeness'. So I bagged my purchased and left without further instances.

  yup I'm home again *sigh*

Hugs,
   Laurie

[KathyLauren]

Laurie, girl, you are an inspiration!  You could title your road trip thread "How I set out to find Maine and discovered myself."  You remind us that being ourselves and being with good people are what this road trip of life is all about.

Though I find sustained wackiness hard to participate in and I therefore took a back seat on your journey, I thoughrouly enjoyed reading about your travels, meetups, and transformation.

Yes, back in real life, there are going to be "looks" and stuff.  But knowing yourself now, you don't have to pay any attention to those people and what they think.

[Laurie]

Laurie, girl, you are an inspiration!  You could title your road trip thread "How I set out to find Maine and discovered myself."  You remind us that being ourselves and being with good people are what this road trip of life is all about.

  That would be a good title with one exception. I fibbed when I said I went in search of myself. It is what I was doing but it was not a conscious thought when I set out. I because obvious to me that that is what I was doing only after I noticed things changing in me as I went. Each person or persons I met played a part in my progress.

Though I find sustained wackiness hard to participate in and I therefore took a back seat on your journey, I thoughrouly enjoyed reading about your travels, meetups, and transformation.

  I'm glad you followed my journey even though the inanity  was a bit much for you. The nonsense takes on a life of it's own at times and this was one of them. I even shook my head at some of it, But this nonsense is a part of me. I  don't seem to be able to not try to inject humor into my conversations. I think it is a coping mechanism for me just as my crossdressing was helping me cope with what I now believe to be gender dysphoria. It helps keep the wolves at bay. I've never really felt comfortable with and have trouble relating to others and humor helps with that.
  I'm sorry if it was a bit much for you. I love seeing what you post in my threads and you my dear, are very much an inspiration to me. I would have come visit you if I had that passport. We still might meet someday.

Yes, back in real life, there are going to be "looks" and stuff.  But knowing yourself now, you don't have to pay any attention to those people and what they think.

  I know there will be looks and 7 months ago I would have had a terrible time coping with them and like I said I think they would have change how I did this trip had it happened  before starting it. But it didn't happen before and so it did not interfere with the wonderful people I met and the experiences I had. I do believe a different person returned home from the one that left.  There will still be rocky times and I'll come to you people here for help with them and talk to my therapist about them but for now life is good as I bask in the glow of the experience.

  Love and hugs,
    Laurie

[davina61]

So happy for you and what a support group you had , go girls go

[Laurie]

So happy for you and what a support group you had , go girls go

Thanks Davina. It was one heck of a good experience for me. I was happy that I could share it with everyone through this thread. This thread allowed everyone interested to participate in some way if they wanted to and many of you did. That made it all the better for me. And yes I have one heck of a support group here.
  You are part of my support Davina. Thank you.

Hugs,
   Laurie

  I am going to put in a shameless plug for Susan's Place here. Without this site I we would not have had the means to share this wonderful experience nor would many of us get the support we need to deal with our trans issues. I am thankful that this site is here for us and thankful for Susan and all the staff for the jobs they do to keep it running smoothly. I contribute to help keep this site online and ask everyone else to donate what they are able to also.

[Laurie]

 Hi everyone,

  Well I've been home for three days and as I said I was going to, I'm still in girl mode.  I've been grocery shopping in the two stores I normally shop in. Met a new apartment manager. Done my laundry from the trip. Taken out the trash and got the mail. And all was well with the world.
   Then I made a comment to my daughter via facebook and now thing aren't so good. My 5 yro (I think) granddaughter had been sick and spent the day and night throwing up until she got some zofran from the ER. I inquired how she was doing and got the answer she was doing better. I thanked her from answering me and said it was more than I got from my oldest granddaughter when I had sent a message to he saying hi and that I loved and missed all of them. That comment caused all sorts of problems by my daughter having to ask my granddaughter what I sad=id and that apparently upset my overly sensitive grandaughters fragile emotions as she is overly sensitive and has a difficult time with my usual negative opinions and does not know how to handle them and is intimidated by me and that is why she hides in her room when I am around etc etc. You get the picture, I got a fancy worded ass chewing. to which I responded she would not have to worry henceforth because I promise never to tell my granddaughter the I love them all and miss then ever again. And I proceeded to tell my daughter that I would not be bothering them anymore and that it was plain that she blames me for all of her life problems from her poor home life when I was drinking and drugging and had anger issues. I told her I had done all I could to repair the damage I caused her but it hasn't done any good. I also told her that her reaction and response to my coming out to her and my son in law and her comment in her facebook prayer request after they told the kids hurt me.  I stopped short of telling her I am not broken and her god cannot fix me. I also told her I still love her and the family but that I no longer feel welcome there due to her response.
   I have taken the two older kids and her husband off my friends list and after giving her time to respond if she wants to I will do the same with her. So far nothing and I don't think I'll get a response.
   
   I feel like crap. Excuse me while I go cry. I'll feel better tomorrow.

Goodnight,
Laurie

[Cindy]

There are time for tears and for sorrow, that is part of life and sadly an intrinsic part of this journey.

There are also times when a friend reaches out and opens her arms to give another a friend a hug and a kiss.

This is one of those times.

Hug

[LizK]

Hey Laurie

That sucks, the whole thing, there are no wins in situations like these only loses. You have done everything you can. I feel from my understanding you have been really patient with her  I hope you are feeling a bit better after a nights sleep.

Take Care
Hugs
Liz

[Anne Blake]

Hi Laurie,

Wow, that is a really tough thing to have to go through! Not dismissing your pain at all but recognizing it, we all go through painful rejection and it hurts so much. Just remember that you have friends here that care. Please reach out ti me if it will help, you have my number.

Tia Anne