Here I go again :-(

[Laurie]

 
  Hi Folks.

  And thank you for the thoughts and giving me some space. I thought I was doing pretty good today and putting my feelings away so I can get back to learning this moderator job. And I have been working on it and doing a little live work today. The job has some challenges but it is also interesting. It also keeps me occupied and out of my head. I was going to make this post earlier as I thought I was doing okay and under control again. But them my friends in Missouri and others noticed my absence on facebook and she was getting calls wanting to know where I was. Now Peggy is the one that sent me a file showing  the FB thread which has now got me down, so she know what I'm dealing with so she called to see how I was. Doing so pretty much put me back where I was this morning.
   Again I'm sort of okay provided I don't think or talk about it. I'll talk about it tomorrow when I see my therapist.
  I'm functional, and can even talk with others again. LOL  I've had to. I've got learning to do and have to ask for help from our more knowledgeable staff. I get rewarded  pretty much whenever I start looking into something that needs attention and an action is required after asking about it. My reward? Well, they let me do the work. Today I've done two things I've not done before.  I do what I think needs to be done then have someone check my work. It's been a LONG time since my school days, but they've made it clear the summer break is over. It takes me a long time and it's not pretty but I am learning.
    Tomorrow should be business as usual. I hope.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Kendra]

It is now tomorrow in your time zone (by a minute).  Best wishes for your therapist visit today.  Count your blessings Laurie, you have earned many.

[Laurie]

It is now tomorrow in your time zone (by a minute).  Best wishes for your therapist visit today.  Count your blessings Laurie, you have earned many.

I still have almost 12 hours and my nails are still wet. Not sure what I'll wear yet.

[Kendra]

Your therapist may be really cool but I suggest wear more than nail polish.

[Laurie]

Your therapist may be really cool but I suggest wear more than nail polish.

Oh alright Kenundra. I'll wear some other things too. But what?? That's the hard part.

Got to get started cleaning myself up and putting my face on then trying on the 3 or 4 outfits  until I give up and just got with what I have on.

Sigh 

Laurie

[Megan.]

I lived so many years convincing myself that outside appearance didn't matter,  only how I felt inside. I still think how we feel is more important,  but I now understand the outside can strengthen or weaken that core, we're all a work in progress!
The love and care you have shown so many here (including myself) demonstrate you have the heart and soul of a beautiful person. Draw strength from that. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[p]

Glad to hear you are back in the saddle, Laurie. Whatever you wear, I'd say skip the mascara in case of "ocular leakage" as you like to call it. Big hugs, hope you have a very therapeutic session today. 

[Laurie]

I lived so many years convincing myself that outside appearance didn't matter,  only how I felt inside. I still think how we feel is more important,  but I now understand the outside can strengthen or weaken that core, we're all a work in progress!
The love and care you have shown so many here (including myself) demonstrate you have the heart and soul of a beautiful person. Draw strength from that. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

Well, Thank you, Megan. Any more  kind words and I'll have to redo my mascara and I don't have the time.

I'm off to get some therapy. I think I need some due to recent events.

Hugs ,
   Laurie

[p]

  pretty lady!

[Megan.]

Gorgeous hun. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[Kendra]

Girl you look great!!   

[davina61]

That's my girl, looking super.

[Shy]

Well look at you all pretty as a picture. Hope things go well with your therapist. Jeez girl you lookin' good.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[Rayna]

Beautiful!

Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

[Rachel]

You look beautiful.

[Laurie]

Glad to hear you are back in the saddle, Laurie. Whatever you wear, I'd say skip the mascara in case of "ocular leakage" as you like to call it. Big hugs, hope you have a very therapeutic session today. 

  Hi Patti,

    Now you tell me.. I didn't see your recommendation before leaving for my appointment. Yes, there was ocular leakage (for the record and full disclosure; I stole the term from Stephanie) Fortunately I brought tissues and I had used only a little mascara so the damage was kept to a minimum and no raccoon eyes resulted.
    As for the session it helped some to talk, but I'm still hurt. Please bear with me as I attempt to put it aside.

   I have lots of hugs puts aside also for my#1 Fan.  lol

Hugs,
    Laurie

[p]

Glad to hear therapy was somewhat helpful. I am always here to lend an ear. Hugs!

[Laurie]

Awwwww 

Thank you ladies. I don't get much opportunity to dress up and I wanted to today. While waiting to be summoned to the crying room. I was accosted by a gentleman there with a, " you have lovely hair" to which I responded with a thank you and a smile. When my therapist came to fetch me he told me I looked very pretty today. He lies and is paid to make me feel better so I thanked him and followed him to the crying room. lol

  I related my recent difficulties and he did what he could to shore up my emotions. As I said in responding to Patti, I feel better though I still hurt. I no longer feel like disappearing.  Rest assured I'll be okay and I'm working on it. Sometimes life just plain sucks. When it does and it gets really tough, I'm one of those that chooses flight over fight.
  I still believe I could be happy as a reclusive hermit.

  Hugs,
    Laurie

[Laurie]

Glad to hear therapy was somewhat helpful. I am always here to lend an ear. Hugs!

  Thank you  Patti but there are enough people that know the details and way too many that think they do and are wrong.

I'll be okay.

Laurie

[davina61]

As you say we don't know all the ins and outs , but I say ride it out as you never know what the future holds, more hugs XX btw nice new avatar