There are things that are not unenjoyable about being male, just ask our FTM members! That combined with however many decades of pretending is a pretty strong influence, not to mention that gender fluid is also a thing, although I would assume if you were gender fluid you wouldn't describe feeling male as disgusting, but that's a thing too perhaps you're ignoring aspects of being male you used to like, it's best not to do it for a couple years after starting hormones so your changes aren't affected, but there isn't anything that says you can't go out drinking with your friends just because you're female, some of the most powerful female figures in anime are heavy drinking, gambling manizers (a play on womanizer), I think fully accepting yourself as a woman is predicated by first finding yourself as a woman, not every activity is cut and dry male or female. I will continue to watch anime and play video games, both things that are dominated by male audiences, at least in the US but there's no good reason for that.
Besides, now I can finally cosplay the characters I REALLY want to :p
