Quote from: Tribble on March 19, 2019, 08:11:12 PM
Our pioneer mothers and fathers came way before me, but we do have a long path ahead of us yet.
That we do. In the US, so many of the things that were won by those going before me are being threatened for no logical reason.There's no point in getting into the politics. I think we all know why.
QuoteI left the online community soon after as, to my shame, I had my husband and I just wanted to disappear into the woodwork.
I don't know how my opinion squares with the majority here (and I don't really care), but I see absolutely no shame in what you did. I have often considered the option of "going stealth." It's a very attractive thing, though not a realistic possibility for me.
QuoteThis dysphoria/dysmorphia distinction is new to me. We were still mostly using GID and it was a non-gender therapist at a halfway home after one of my suicide attempts that suggested that what I was going through was not a disorder, at all. I was being me. I do see a lot of subjects mentioned nowadays that were once so taboo that no one would talk about them then even in private.
Remember the acronym GIDAANT? As I recall, it stood for Gender Identity Disorder, Adult and Adolescent onset, Non-Transexual. For much of my life, I thought that applied to me. Not that I didn't want to transition, I just thought it was an impossibility, so I buried the thought very deep. In my mind I was "only" a cross-dresser, a transvestite. I understand now that those are viable lifestyles, but back then what I'd been taught is that those tendencies made me a freak. I'm sure I don't have to explain to you what that does to your psyche.
Maybe I'm not reading the right forums, but while we all understand "dysphoria" I've rarely run across "dysmorphia." I understand the term and its roots, but it does seem to have been incorporated into "dysphoria." I'm not happy with my hands or my feet or my shoulders or my narrow hips, etc. ad nauseum, and I'll do what I can do address what's possible (I haven't heard anyone speak of rib removal in a long time), but I have come to understand that ciswomen come in all shapes and sizes, and if we can shift our focus off of the beauty queens and onto everyday, "ordinary" women, we can see that all women are beautiful. The circle that defines who people see as female is larger than we may think, and with a little care we can fit into it, even with our "flaws."
It took a while for me to truly realize that ciswomen experience the same longings and body issues that we transwomen do. Only the most narcissistic believe they're perfect, and comparing ourselves negatively to other women is so rampant and common that it seems normal. When looked at dispassionately, our bodies are not all that different.
The women (cis and trans) who I admire the most are the ones who have found peace with who they are, accept that nobody is perfect, and just get out there and live without worries about what other people think. I have a long way to go before I'll get there, but I consider it a laudable goal.
I'm glad you finally found someone who could help you out of the darkness. You are being you! That's one of the most wonderful freedoms in the world.
QuoteI'm happy some subjects are becoming open for discussion. Not being able to mention them, even among a supposed friendly crowd, can make one feel very, very alone and more freakish than ever.
Susan's isn't perfect, but it's the most accepting, understanding place I've found on the internet. Very few things are forbidden to discuss, and the openness and understanding of those I've interacted with here have helped me immeasurably. I believe completely that Susan's has saved lives. Without the open discussions and friendship I've found here, I don't know where I'd be now.
And thank you for coming back to us and sharing your experiences and wisdom. Especially after successfully transitioning and living authentically as you've done. I hope I'm that selfless when I get to the place you are now.
Stephanie
