Dating in stealth?

[transnztal]

Hey guys I want to know if anyone of you have dating experiences regarding if you were stealth or if you told them you are trans and when you told them? I'm not sure what to do I'm 22 post op trans woman and I've been dating a few guys who don't know I'm trans and I don't want to tell them I'm not really ready to tell them Atleast. Also I want to know your opinions on dating in stealth if you should tell a partner or not. Or if you should tell one night stands? I feel like I'm a woman and the men see me as one so I feel like I only should tell if I want to after going through all of the recoveries I've been through it's not fair. I know a long time partner deserves to know but what about one night stands as well? I feel like one night stands don't deserve to know I'm trans at all because they don't wanna get to know me as a person only wants sex therefore why should they deserve to know my personal info if I don't know there's? Sorry if this is a long post I'm kind of rambling lol but I just wanna know everyone's opinions/experiences about dating in stealth thanks )))) xoxoxoxoo

[KathyLauren]

That's a very personal decision, that you should make for yourself.

I personally would not try to go stealth, but then I am a long way past contemplating one night stands.  Stealth sounds to me like going back into a different closet. 

But I am not you.  Your circumstances are different from mine.  Your distinction between one night stands and a long term relationship sounds sensible to me.  If that's what will work for you, then that's what you should do.

[DemonRaven]

I understand your fear and the decision is yours and yours alone to make. If it was me i would tell them upfront. I dislike having to come out later and have them leave me after I have developed feelings for them. 

[Dena]

This is a debate that we have had in the past and there isn't a right answer. The biggest issue is personal danger. People have been known to become physically violent when they discover that they have had sex with somebody post surgical. The other side is there are site members who married stealth and never told their husbands about their past. What every  you decide, just make sure you stay safe.

[Daniellekai]

I agree here, telling or not it's a personal choice, one night stands don't have a logical reason to need to know, but finding out after the fact might affect them emotionally (to varying results some dangerous for you). A long time partner I'd at least tell that you can't have children, if you don't want to lie you could just say you were born without a uterus or you're infertile. But I like honesty.

[Barb99]

I'm post op and just starting to date. My policy so far has been not to tell for the first date, but if we hit it off and start talking a second date then I tell them. Only one date so far, but that one worked out ok.

For one night stands, if I ever have one, I don't believe they have any need to know.

Just my personal feelings, don't know if there is a right answer.