Trouble with dating

[strangemagic]

Throughout the years, my dating life has been almost nonexistent. I haven't been able to form any romantic relationships at all. It's not that I'm not interested in a relationship, I just get very uncomfortable when I'm in one. And the idea of sex is a huge turn off, at least at the moment. When I'm in a relationship with someone, it just reminds me that I'm still a female and that's the role I'm playing in the relationship.
I started talking to this amazing guy a few weeks ago and I really like him, but each day I can feel myself getting more and more detached from him. It's the same cycle everytime. I know I want to be with him and he really wants to be with me, but I just can't do it. I feel horrible.
So my question is: Did anyone else have trouble dating before fully transitioning? How did you deal with it?

[Mikka55]

Hmmm sound like a bit like my current situation.  There was this person I met at work we seemed to get along well for a few dates,  but after I told her I was transitioning that's when the relationship fell apart.  Everytime We talked in the beginning she would always mention about sex,  and it really bugged me because sex is the least thing on my mind.   So I kept telling her I just want to know you as a person,  just forget about the sex... Next day she will ask more sex questions.   I know i may look male,  but I am no longer male,  so sex hardly ever runs in my mind.
And every time we hang out I told her I wanted to go shopping for female cloths but everytime she suggest male clothing... It really made me upset and frustrated with her.
So I don't even want to talk to her.. because its the same story everytime.  Im getting tired of her.
I want to explain it to her but I know there is no point she will always view me as a male. 
So in a way,  ya I do understand what you mean.

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[strangemagic]

Hmmm sound like a bit like my current situation.  There was this person I met at work we seemed to get along well for a few dates,  but after I told her I was transitioning that's when the relationship fell apart.  Everytime We talked in the beginning she would always mention about sex,  and it really bugged me because sex is the least thing on my mind.   So I kept telling her I just want to know you as a person,  just forget about the sex... Next day she will ask more sex questions.   I know i may look male,  but I am no longer male,  so sex hardly ever runs in my mind.
And every time we hang out I told her I wanted to go shopping for female cloths but everytime she suggest male clothing... It really made me upset and frustrated with her.
So I don't even want to talk to her.. because its the same story everytime.  Im getting tired of her.
I want to explain it to her but I know there is no point she will always view me as a male. 
So in a way,  ya I do understand what you mean.

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I'm so sorry you're going through that I know how you feel about the sex thing. It's not like I'll never be interested, I'm just not at the moment. I'm so tired of it always coming up in conversation.
I know that I'm gonna have to bring this up to him at some point if we start getting closer, and I feel like he's not gonna be too thrilled about it. We went to the mall the other day and I went to look in the men's section, and I could tell he was a little weirded out by it.

[Mikka55]

We went to the mall the other day and I went to look in the men's section, and I could tell he was a little weirded out by it.

Yeah she does that to me too. I know she's not comfortable.   Another reason why my relationship isn't working out is because she wants kids and because oh my meds I am not able to produce kids anymore and plus her parents are very old school traditional thinking so I told her and I drew a solid line,  I am who I am you can't change who I am,  if you are not happy you are free to walk away.  If you like me for me and if you need to hide me from your parents,  because you never know one day I will dress in feminine clothing and your parents will see.  If you can't accept me for who I am and tell your parents.. Then I can't be with you. 
So after I drew that solid line we just stopped talking less and less. I'm at the point of why should I call her... She will never try to understand and accept me.  So I gave up,  and she knows we are not moving forward.
So yeah,  you are not a lone.


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