Coming out to younger children?

[jgravitt01]

Just an update..I had a Father/Son Day went to see Lego Batman..cool movie!
My son and I had a chat about how some boys sound and act like girls. I explained to him that sometime boys feel like they are supposed to be girls on the inside even though outside the are boys. I used Caitlyn Jenner as an example. I said sometimes girls feel like they are boys too.
I further explained that these people are still people, we respect & treat them just like anyone else. He said he understood and agreed.

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[Tessa James]

Just an update..I had a Father/Son Day went to see Lego Batman..cool movie!
My son and I had a chat about how some boys sound and act like girls. I explained to him that sometime boys feel like they are supposed to be girls on the inside even though outside the are boys. I used Caitlyn Jenner as an example. I said sometimes girls feel like they are boys too.
I further explained that these people are still people, we respect & treat them just like anyone else. He said he understood and agreed.

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So smart of you to make that an educational moment.  Bravo

[Hope springs]

I feel for you girl. Of all the people in my life, my children are the ones im most concerned about. They are 8 and 6 years old. I really, really want them to adjust as well as possible, but you just never know.
   I just told my son the other day about me and what being transgender means. I asked how that made him feel ( about me being trans). He said it would be kinda weird. Then changed the subject to wondering how robbers escape cops.
  So at this point my advice is do exactly what you did. Use small teachable momemts to get your children used to the concept. Im certain it will take many talks before my kids fully grasp what my transition means. Its nerve racking.  Just be the best parent you can and other things tend to take care of themselves.

   

[CrystalMatthews0426]

This is a matter that I've been thinking about myself, I have a 10 year old niece and 6 year old nephew who I absolutely adore. My sister-in-law is extremely liberal minded, so I don't expect there to be an issue overall, but I do wonder about how we might explain to them that Uncle Craig is now Aunt Crystal.  I think they are young enough that they will adjust easily, after all, prejudice of any sort is learned and they sure as hell have not learned such a thing. I do worry though how their friends and others who might not be as open minded will react towards them. My niece is very emotional and has some minor anxiety issues herself, and I fear that she will be bullied for "having a freak for an uncle."  (Not my words of course, but sadly it is very possible that they might hear this exact phrase.)

[jgravitt01]

So smart of you to make that an educational moment.  Bravo

Thank you Tessa. We've always taught him to be respectful and treat everyone the way he wants to be treated. He looks for the kid no one else plays with and will go and befriend him/her. Just a good kid. I'm amazed by him every day.
Crystal,
One step at a time, even if they are small ones.
-Jaime

This is a matter that I've been thinking about myself, I have a 10 year old niece and 6 year old nephew who I absolutely adore. My sister-in-law is extremely liberal minded, so I don't expect there to be an issue overall, but I do wonder about how we might explain to them that Uncle Craig is now Aunt Crystal.  I think they are young enough that they will adjust easily, after all, prejudice of any sort is learned and they sure as hell have not learned such a thing. I do worry though how their friends and others who might not be as open minded will react towards them. My niece is very emotional and has some minor anxiety issues herself, and I fear that she will be bullied for "having a freak for an uncle."  (Not my words of course, but sadly it is very possible that they might hear this exact phrase.)

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[jgravitt01]

I feel for you girl. Of all the people in my life, my children are the ones im most concerned about. They are 8 and 6 years old. I really, really want them to adjust as well as possible, but you just never know.
   I just told my son the other day about me and what being transgender means. I asked how that made him feel ( about me being trans). He said it would be kinda weird. Then changed the subject to wondering how robbers escape cops.
  So at this point my advice is do exactly what you did. Use small teachable momemts to get your children used to the concept. Im certain it will take many talks before my kids fully grasp what my transition means. Its nerve racking.  Just be the best parent you can and other things tend to take care of themselves.

Hope, as parents we all fail and succeed at parenting. All we can hope for are that there are more checkmark on the success side!
-Jaime

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[staciM]

I'm the OP, and wanted to give another update that may help others that are on the fence or have doubts about letting your kids know the truth.  Everyone's experience will be different but here's a continuing story of
a positive one.

As you may have read above my wife and I explained everything to our son 2 months ago and he has been quite amazing.  Nothing phased him and he's accepted it without hesitation and has been extraordinarily supportive and loving.

We just had his parent/teacher interviews yesterday and although he was never a bad student, all his teachers commented on how much happier, engaged and enthusiastic over the past few months he's been.  We have also witnessed this, but getting  validation from an outside source is truly helpful.  The teachers don't know "why", but they easily picked-up on the result.  This shows that our son was obviously being impacted by this long term secret and the depression and anger that I brought into the household.  My wife and I coming out and living authentically has made a positive impact on his life.

So, when making this decision, you and your spouse should also consider how secrets may be hurting your children (and relationship with them), and opening-up could really help rather than hurt.

[LexiDreamer]

I have been dropping small hints to my daughter (she's 8 ) for the past few months.
I also dress comfortably when I'm home and around her (her mother and I have been apart for years now). I never wore a dress in front of her, but much of my clothing is quite feminine.

I came out to her last week. She was perfectly fine with it. It has really only made us closer.
She often calls me "Lexi" at home, but in a very endearing way.

Kids are happy when their parents are happy.

Her mother now... that's a whole different story.

[rorgg]

Going through this field myself.  I have a 12 year old daughter from my first marriage who recently came out as bi, and while my ex- has handled that well, she freaked out a bit when my daughter expressed a desire for breast removal.  Seeing signs in that direction? I came out to her, albeit unbeknownst to my current wife who wanted me to wait.  She took it mostly silently, but I thought well, and found out that I picked her up yesterday from spending the day with a trans friend.  On her recent birthday, we hosted a little party for her, with friends of both genders having an extended makeup session unprompted mid-gathering.  So, I think she'll be fine.  Now to wrap my OWN head around not being "just" a CD, as I'd told myself for decades.