Boo Hoo

[Wild Flower]

I was thinking about this in the past five minutes, and I think don't care what my family thinks of ->-bleeped-<- anymore. I know I am going to die, I know that I can't none of this with me, I know that I am getting older too. It's like the worst thing they can do... are just words, words that I could easily just tune out (I'm good at tuning them out the more I get older).

Now, the only reason I don't transition is vanity sake, I don't want to go through the "ugly duckling" face, where people don't know if I am woman or a man.

But if they just flat out say start using "queer cursed" words at me.... it's like what I do have to lose, ignorant people? And if they accept me, I know it's never going to be a full acceptance... they will always look at me as a  "freak"... that's how they were raised/are... but they don't really affect my everyday life. T

here's a lot of other controversial ideas I have... and they say, "you can't do that! Pride! you're too honorable for that!". No, that's stupid, outdated thinking. Pride doesn't get you anywhere in life, results does.  I already been called weird, psychopath, loser, by them throughout the years anyways....

I think I am going to go see a doctor after I leave my current job *that's in another 6-9 months; new people/less to worry about my reputation*, just to get on hormones, and get some therapy.

----
When did you realize you're indifferent to the opinions of your family?

[VeronicaLynn]

Moving more and more towards that direction...though the way my family has been on other things they disagree with my choices on, it's better to just do it, and then tell them.

I think it actually might go better if I were to fully transition, including legally, before I tell them. I usually only see them about once a year around the holidays. If I am not quite there this upcoming winter, I might just make up some work related excuse as to why I can't visit this year or the next.

[Elis]

Hope you don't mind me posting . My dad has also put me down and let me know I can't live up to his standards; whatever those are. When I came out two years ago I knew him saying he'd be supportive was a lie. When I moved out xmas time last year we had a huge argument and I definitely knew then he saw no reason to apologise. When he wants to see me every 2 weeks it's only bcos he still wants to control me and thinks he's the better person. If he does visit me in hospital this year when I get my top surgery it'll only be bcos he sees that as his duty rather than bcos he wants to be there.

It's sad how many parents think their children are their property and we should be thankful that they brought us up. As if we asked to be here and it wasn't a selfish act on their part. If no one else is there for you then you have to simply look after yourself.

I was relieved that after your post you said you were going to go to therapy and get HRT. In just a years time you'll be so thankful you made that choice. From reading your posts I know you're a kind person who doesn't deserve how life is treating you. 

[Colleen_definitely]

Actually my therapist helped me realize that I almost completely stopped caring what my family thought about me around ten years ago (I only came to terms with being trans in February) so why should I care about this?

They're going to get letters and if that bridge burns, so be it.  I'm a big kid and have been on my own since I was 18.  It would be nice if they were accepting, but I don't need it.

[Dani]

The older I get and the more independent I get, the less I care what anyone else thinks about me. Who was there when I needed someone? (rhetorical question, no need to answer)

Wild Flower, we all have some others who don't like it when we transition. Just move on. Be safe and plan carefully.

[Denise]

...
Now, the only reason I don't transition is vanity sake, I don't want to go through the "ugly duckling" face, where people don't know if I am woman or a man.
...

Okay we are all different (Read that as "You may think I'm looney/crazy") but I actually enjoyed this part of the transition.  You can go either way, if you want to run to the store in male or female mode - no issues.

As you progress you'll learn that 99% of the people out there DON'T CARE.  They may look at you a fraction longer or maybe a double take, but THEY DON'T CARE.  It may be challenging to find a date during that time frame, but once you're on the drugs, it will probably be less important.