a compliment to you folks

[Michelle F]

First,
Thank you to Daisy, you are a sweetie and I appreciate your hug. Back at ya babe. Second, to Kim, yes I am female, but I am male too. I hope that makes sense.

My dilema is that if I act as a girl with a man body, people's "nut radar" goes up, or them marginalize me. Whereas if I look like a woman, I can still do a lot of masculine things and basically wear ANYTHING I want to.

I already have a body that will pass as quite female, and my mind is right down the middle.

If I let them "fix me" to look male, I will not really be able to be at ease being myself in public, but if I look female, I can be myself all the time. Whether i feel masculine or feminine, it will "fly", provided I don't punch some guy for calling me "honey" . You know what I mean, a little outward, but not too agressive.

I don't have that "If I have to live as a man one day longer I'll kill myself thing", being a man has a LOT of priveledges.

Problem is; I don't really pass as male, or always act like one, and the harassment is getting to me. I am getting too old to just keep ignoring that my body is not a male body, I look like my mom, not my dad. Then there's the monthly cramps, and other things that totally unseat me from my "male" reality.

It's a lot to wrap your brain around.

If it was just about changing some body parts and taking some pills, fine, but i have my personality to think about too.

Anyway, hope that wasn't too hard to understand, and yes it is really nice to be called a "her", and similar to what Kim said, When I finally admitted that there was a female between these ears, life became a lot easier, like I didn't have to pretend I was a man anymore. It became OK, and I quit aging so fast and tearing myself up for not being man enough.

that's all the ranting from my backwards world today, thank you again Daisy-Bell,
Hugs
Michelle

[Kim]

I know exactly what you are saying Michelle and what you find the hard part is the hard part for a lot of us. Funny part for me was when my voice pitched up to where it always should have been, people suddenly pass comments about my posture, my stride, my mannerisms etc etc. They didn't change, just my voice and that sent everyone into a tizzy. The thing you have to figure out is can you let go of your birth gender and live in the role of your actual gender. You already said it felt better for you and if you can pass as the woman you are then that may be where you should be. My situation is hard and I have to be subtle due to my job and my in-laws who don't yet know. So yes, letting go is scary and difficult but I know from my perspective it was the only choice to stop living a lie and be the woman I am, and the day is coming to tell my in-laws too as I find having to hide myself harder and harder to do. I wish you the best on your journey.
  In terms of figuring out your inside body you need to talk to a doctor who understands us. You will then be scheduled for an MRI, a battery of blood tests, and in my case they did a saliva test for hormones. But still, no matter what the results it should not change your journey and destination.
Good luck to you,
                     Kim   

[Michelle F]

Hey Ms Kim,

Thanks for the good words. The thing about being honest is so true. It's kind of funny, I (thought) I had some good family members who would understand this, but I haven't talked to a couple of people for almost a year now. It seems that "they don't like those kind of people", and didn't know that I was one for all those years they liked me. Kind of like that line from the song ;

and the sign said long hair creepy people need not apply
so I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
he said; " you look like a fine upstandin young man I think you do"
so I took off my hat, said imagine that, huh, me workin for you.

as to passing for a woman, I think I would need facial feminization. Big bucks, so gotta finish school first. Otherwise yah I would pass. I went to a halloween party as female, and some people didn't know I was dressed up. They just thought I was a lady crashing the party with no costume. Two women actually argued for 10 minutes as to whether I was a woman or not.

The thing is I want to be invisible. If I am to be female, them I darn well better look like one. My life has been hard enough, I want to make it easier not harder yet.

Looks like you are going to need a place to land when you finally tell your in laws. Keep my name in mind. When I told people, I thought they would look at my body and it would be a no brainer, but they said things like, who cares if this is biological or not, why can't you just be a man anyway?

Please keep me in mind if you need to talk when it's time to tackle this one it can be so different than you expect. Then again, it could go really well. You gotta let people have their own thoughts and realize that those may not include acceptance, whether they are right or not.

I do hope it goes so well for you, and I hope I haven't wasted your time stating the obvious.

Luv
M

Luv
M

Posted on: November 20, 2007, 10:09:51 PMHey Kim,

wanted to show you my pisture so you can see what I mean in the other posts, but need to have 15 posts first, soon I will show you why I am so stressed out,

In the meantime, thanks for the blind faith you have offered.

Hugs
Chelle

[Kim]

No problem Michelle and thank you. Once my mom and brother turned on me I stopped explaining it to people which is why I haven't told my in-laws yet. As for passing, one thing I found is that we are definitely our own worse critic. I am lucky in that from what people say my face passes but I have to cover the dark remnants of shaving mu upper lip real good-it's alwys smooth but dark after I shave. Then again, the women on my dad's side have a bit of shadow too so it could be genetic. I am always here to help out a sister (or in other cases a brother). Ears wide open,
                                          Kim   

[Michelle F]

Hey Kim,

Sorry to hear about your mom and brother. Sometimes I wonder if people think "well that's kind of weird that that happened, but what we really care about is how it affects US".

You have a loving relationship with your wife and kids. That covers a ton of other people's ill- actions.

Getting ready for Turkey day tommorow, forgive if I'm out of it for a while. Been studying HARD at school (anatomy and physiology, medical calculations and equations, I'm a nursing student) I need this little vacation. Will catch up soon though

[seldom]

If thats you...you don't look male.  I believe you now...in fact I don't think you can pass as male.  Sorry for the skepticism. 

The truth is I am on the minor side of IS conditions. That does not seem to be the case with you. 

[Michelle F]

Well it takes a lot of breast binding and creative dressing.
As I said I don't always pass as male, but when I don't, I am percieved as trans, not female, because of the face.

I know I could have 'em cut off, but it wouldn't change my personality.

I don't want to put my family through it, but I FEEL like a girl between the ears.

The doctors never checked my hormones, or my genes, just kept passing me off as
"normal male, severe gynecomastia, excersice and lose weight"

THAT'S  why I'm here, I think I'm going to need some girlfriends to help me with what I never expected to happen to my body.

and yes that is me, no photoshop enhancements or tricks, although I am a little bit skinnier right now.

I look like this but if I dress as female, people just think man with boobs..freak

Thanks for the friendship, yes it is hard to pass as male when you can't grow a beard, have a high voice and don't feel like a man, and you look like this.

Hugs to you and have a very happy thanksgiving
Michelle

[Kim]

You look great Michelle. My pic is 11/2 yrs old now, when I first started my journey and before the body developed as it should (my doc feels my mind was able to block the body from developing right until this time of my life). I find this time of year easiest to be subtle as I can wear baggy sweaters to hide my breasts (now in B cup) and not look out of place. I also find darker colors show less than light colors. I understand what you are saying about a beard as I can't grow one as I have hair growth only to the point of showing but one couldn't do anything. Once I tries to grow a moustache to feel more male but had to comb it over and over to make it look at least close to full. I kind of looked like Wilma in the Flintstones the time she infiltrated thebuffalo club, only with a much smaller stache. I doubt I could ever get a beard no matter how much comb over I do. And body hair is nil. And yes I have had women tell me they would kill for a figure like mine, their words not mine.
    As I said before though, at first I didn't mind being stealth, but slowly it bothered me to the point I just went subtle, which is now causing discomfort too. By subtle I wear light or transparent make-up,slacks and unisex top. I find hair does a lot to the face as to whether you look male or female too.
    One thing I was wondering is how is your wife doing through this, if I'm not being to personal here. Hopefully she's holding in with you.
                                                                Kim   

[Michelle F]

Hi Kim,

I will be "out" for a few days for Thanksgiving, but wanted to reply to you before I left. I do relate to what you said aboutfeeling more comfortable in sweaters as they can hide things.

For me this isn't a gender struggle. I just am what I am, some parts of me are male to the point of being a cliche. Other parts of me are so female that it is uncomfortable in public with a male face. Some of that is training, some of that is biology, some of it is a mystery to me.

For me it's more about not hiding things about myself anymore. I go out in public with breasts bound, wearing really loose shirts or a jacket even when it's 70 F outside. I wear two shirts even in summer.I can't even imagine what would happen if I let the "girls" out at one of my college classes like the picture shows. I would definately be the center of attention, but I don't think it would be negative attention, I don't want that.

Back to the honesty thing. I do not want to go back to being 1/2 a person anymore. I am sick of hiding my body, sick of hiding my beauty, sick of hiding my generous kind personality. I just want to be me. For me, that is part female/part male.

I do not want to get rid of "him". but "he" has ruled the roost for 43 years. "he" can still exist in a girl body, but "she" can never exist in a male body. I can't go back into hiding/pretending ever again.

"I" can no longer exist in this body. It has to be fixed one way or the other, either toward male or female 100%. The mind will still be androgenous, but the body/face has to be 100% male or female.

Did that sound like the most skitzophrenic entry ever?

Believe me I am of sound mind, most people just can't imagine having both sexes live under the same roof. It scares the living crud out of me to think that one day people may call me "m'am" instead of sir, but I think pronouns are useless for people like us anyway, yet the world can't live without them.

So much pain to have to bind, disguise, (like I am some kind of dirty little freak) and pretend that I am just like any other man, when it is as plain as my picture that I am not. I especially have a hard time when I am having my monthly pains. I just want to rip open my sweatshirt and reveal my "secret", but I know that is not in my ultimate best intersests. If I go female, it will be by having my face fully feminized and taking anti androgens to get rid of what little muscle I do have. It will be the first time since I was 11 that I will no look like an amalgum of male/female. I wonder what that will be like, then again, I can't wait for the dirty looks, rude comments, and confused looks to stop.

My wife has seen me like this from day one. I never had a child with my first wife (and I practiced a lot). When I married the second time, someone from my church prayed for me (specifically for my testicles, HOW EMBARRASING),  but , the next month my wife was pregnant. My wife and I love each other in our souls, body parts are just embellishment. She loves 100% of me. I am so concerned of doing the best thing for her and she is concerned about doing the best thing for me. It just plays out day to day.

No disrespect to those who are still having trouble with fertility, that's just the way it worked for me.

anyway enough ranting and explaining, gonna eat turkey and let it all go for two days.

Hang in there doll

Chelle

[Kim]

" can no longer exist in this body. It has to be fixed one way or the other, either toward male or female 100%. The mind will still be androgenous, but the body/face has to be 100% male or female.

Michelle,
    Sorry about misunderstanding you but I thought you already knew what gender you really are. First thing you have to do is decide what your gender is. In other words, what gender your brain is. This is only way to be sure for yourself. Once you figure that out then you will know how to 'correct' your body. If you believe you are male then that should be your goal, but if you believe you are woman then that should be your goal. I hope I am not misreading your last entry but I got the impression from it you still aren't sure and are trying to figure it out based on your body. I wish you the best, and as I said, if I misunderstood then I am sorry. I am not trying to be harsh on you, just want to be sure you travel the right direction so you are at peace with yourself.
                Kim   

[Michelle F]

Well Kim,

I believe there are more than two genders. I think nature proves that there is physically more than male/female, and I beleive it encompasses the gender aspect of our natures as well. I think that if society acknowledged that we would have a lot less people go through transition and just be themselves without altering their bodies. Nature creates diversity, society creates transsexuals. What I mean by that is that they tell people;"you can't wear makeup unless you are a woman, you can't wear a dress unless you are a woman, you can't do this unless you are a man. So transpeople, men and women, jump through the hoops and then society turns around and says "ewww" you can't work here, you weren't born that way. Poor trans people just can't get a break. Where's the humanity? Now I know that saying that, somewhere a transperson is going to feel like I am taking shots, but if you read what I said carefully I am totally on your side, so try not to get angry. I don't think transpeople are wrong I thing society is wrong.

That is why I say that I feel BOTH male and female, but I feel like if I look like a man, I won't get to excersise any of my femaleness (in public at least). It isn't a gender issue for me. I am just both male and female, physically and genderwise.

I have never touched a hormone in my life, with the exception of soy suppliments for about 6 months. I have heard that they actually help control estrogen. It has helped with some of my mood swings. I definately know it has not affected my breast size as I have measured carefully and they haven't increased one bit.

I have only 2 reasons for thinking about going female full time
1. To make the public staring and mockery stop
2. To be able to be a full person, not 1/2 a person. I am currently living as female at home all the time. But when I go out in public I dress as a man and take off the makeup. It feels like such a ripoff that I can't just be myself, but society doesn't have a slot for people that look like me, so I play the game. I want to stop playing the game. Sure it means that they have "won", by making me fit into their paradigm, but in the end I win because I can be myself, instead of hiding myself.

Someone on here called me trans a few posts back. I guess I see the connection, but unlike a transwoman, I am not laying down my maleness to become female. I never had a maleness to lay down. Most transpeople are not intersexed, and a lot of intersexed people stay in the gender of their upbringing. For me, however, it is too hard to live as male any more. The only way I could do it would be to fake my personality and have my body butchered up and live with scars and be on medication for the rest of my life. I don't want that even if it does mean "giving up my manhood".

Does that make sense to you? As a woman, I can still fix my car, or wear a flannel shirt, or ride a motorcycle, or do just about anything, but as a "man"  I can't talk about a touching moment, wear makeup, wear a dress, talk about sewing cooking, admire a cute blouse in the store or do anything female without paying a huge social price. (And people think it's a "man's world", hah)
It is women who have the right to act just about any way they want to. Who ever heard of men fighting for their "equal rights"? If a man fights for the right to be effiminate, he is seen as a candidate for the DSM, whereas if a woman fights for the right to do masculine things, she is hailed as a modern woman, progressive and a visionary.

Now is my position clear? I just want to be myself. I am not confused about who I am, I am disappointed that it means I have to jump through the hoops to be able to retain a job. I am disappointed that because fo the way my body looks I can be fired from my job without recourse.  Since part of me is feminine, without the help of hormones, then I am considering looking that way (passibly) full time so that I don't have to go through life as a fake or phony anymore.

Hugs to you
Michelle

[Kim]

I understand you Michelle. As I stated I have been living as the woman I am even though I haven't altered my body. I, like you, have a natural female body. With me I have all the inners too and my brain is female. Ok, so someone stuck a twig on me between my legs and used permanent krazy glue so it won't fall off.  As I stated, I am very subtle when around my in-laws or at work (we do contract work so it's not my employer but those we serve that I worry about). However, living duo for me has become extremely wearisome and I and my wife are talking about how to handle things now with her family. I have no intention to have GRS as I have my body etc. but living duo to satisfy others is too much. If one feels they are both genders and can live in the middle I commend them for they are stronger than I. If this is what you are saying Michelle then I commend you as well. This is a new concept to me to hear one say they are both but I am always open to learning. Thank you,
      Kim   

[Michelle F]

Kim Said:

"However, living duo for me has become extremely wearisome "

Now you got me girlfriend. You see I knew I could actually communicate if I kept at it, even as blond as I am. 

It's like going 60 miles an hour and then throwing your car in reverse GRIND!!!

Oh yah, if I didn't mention this as a reason for going over the fence to full time female, that is it.

I feel so comfortable in girl mode, and then gotta "take myself apart" to go get my kids from school, go to the store, etc.

It is really really old.

Like you I don't intend to get my plumbing changed, but let me tell you I have thought about it just for the psycological part of it. I have lived one half of my life "concealing things" and wonder if I'm just going to trade one kind of hiding for another.

They do a pretty good job

had a link here, but not sure if I could have posted it. Better safe than sorry. If you want it I would be happy to private e-mail it to you.

surprisingly, when I talked to my sife about it and showed her the pictures, and told her I don't know if I could ever do that, she said, "let's just see how it all works out"....hmmmm. I always knew she was kind of a tom-boy but....

Anyway, once again, my overiding motivation is not a gender conflict, but a somatic conflict coupled with an extreme comfort living in the female role.

I'm sure this will all work out.

As to your in-laws, life is short and I've considered these things. I am worried about people who may not be here in 5 years, but ( God forbiding a tragedy) I have about 30 to 40 more years  here. That's too long to live in torment and the weird stares of others.

Thank you sis
Chelle

[Kim]

Okie dokie, Now I am on the same topic as you. I should've been blonde. But I do have a pilot's license for flying off in the wrong direction at times!!   .. The reason I am keeping that twig thingy is for my wife, at least it saves on the debate of who wears the strap-on!!  Oh, and it does great for a hat rack too of course!! Seriously, even if I wanted surgery I'd have to travel at least 2 provinces over to just find an MD, then I'd have to do same for therapist, which is 12 months of travelling and then surgery in said province etc etc-my province is too liberal minded for them folks to be found in!!And as for relocating there myself to save travel, well the cost of living is wayyyyyyyy higher than it is here. For example, our house here we paid 100 grand for is worth at least 300 or 400 grand there. But since that twig is the only male part I own I just learned to ignore it and be the woman I am. I do believe keeping it helps keep a marriage as well since it makes the wife feel she's also with a man when being intimate. But I have never felt like a man,even before I realized what I am and accepted it. I just thought I was loonie toons for sure until my mind let go and it flooded in to me and us of course. As I said before, I have no quams with people e-mailing me in private. I always like helping others and sharing with them. Take care and keep in touch, best of luck,
                         Kim 

[Michelle F]

Hey Kim,

Quick question for you, I think I read a few posts back that you have a vagina too?

If I am wrong, then my next question will seem odd, but if I am right my question is; since your mom knows about this ( as I assume you would have to know about your child) how can she be giving you trouble? (you said your brother was too.) What rejection!!

I have heard about people born with ambiguous genitalia getting trouble from the parents when they announce that their gender does not match the assignment, but I've never understood it. I have an aquantance who has a vagina and a very small penis, got hair on the chest and grew a beard at puberty. raised female, but looked like a man in drag. When she got sick of it and decided to live as male the mother said "my daughter is going through a stage", the other sister accosted her. I'm thinking; what's wrong with these people? While they're calling us "nuts", do they realize how crazy their actions are? (rhetorical question of course)

At least with me, my parts outside appear male, but inside appear to be female (cat scan soon to confirm this). So I can see my family being confused by me saying "surprise, it's a girl".

I showed them pictures of my body ( I sent them the one in my avatar) and explained my conflict to which some of them replied; "you are my brother and I don't want anything to do with you as a sister". my thought is; since I didn't have a choice in the matter, what gives YOU ONE?

Anyway, wanted to clarify if your family knew about your intersex condition all along, or as with me you hid things in shame and secrecy so it was a bit of a surprise to them?

Here's to deciding for ourselves what to do with this...

Thanks
M

[Kim]

Yes it is true I have a partial vagina behind the sack. It only goes in so deep but does not go all the way. In other words, I can insert a finger up to the middle knuckle. And yes there are nerve endings inside it too. As for my mom not knowing I don't know if it's more denial than truth or what. I mean I didn't buy this at the garden center and plant it there or something, it was there all my life. Maybe she thinks it's a magical tatoo or something  . Who knows what went on back when I was born. As for hiding my IS from them, I didn't do so intentionally. My mind took over and hid things even from me after I was raped by an uncle at age 20. I had TG friends before and I think looking back I was about to deal with myself being TG in some manner but at time not sure. The rape threw everything into a tither obviously. My mind working through the subconcious supressed and supressed some more, so even I didn't know as per se. Since then I always thought I was just nuts and a sex addict. I could make love and want to make love again and again, as good as it could be I was never satisfied. I lost memories of my childhood from age 16 back, and the more my mind supressed my true self it inadvertantly supressed my characteristics and personality since they were attached to that true self. So I aped other 'men' around me and tried to be like them to pass, but I didn't actually realize what I was doing. I just knew of course I had changed but didn't understand why. Same thing too, some things the mind couldn't supress such as my cramps and mood swings, but I didn't know what was going on and I was confused. Ok, thaat's my condensed version of why I felt I can honestly say I didn't intentionally hide my being IS from family members.
                                                        Kim 

[Michelle F]

Hey Kimster,

I didn't so much wonder if you hid it from them as that they hid it from you.

I am truly sorry for the difficulties you have had getting your mind wrapped around this, and believe me I understand. It looks like you are getting ahold of it now. Good for you. go go go!

My boobs did not fully develop until I was 19, being that I started puberty at 14, 5 years is about right.But I left home at 17, so no one knew about my condition, as I hid it in shame. I did tell my mom that I felt like a girl when I was 4, and my dad was forever telling me "boys dont do/dress/act like that".

Still, I don't know how they missed it since everyone at school seemed to notice and called me a ->-bleeped-<-got and told me to get a bra, etc, you can imagine.

Yay anyway!

When you are told your whole life that you are a man, you just kind of believe it. Even when you have monthly cramps, you tell yourself it's ulcers. When you get boobs, you tell yourself you can work out enough till it goes away. When you do things that are girlish, you rationalize "every man has a feminine side." Still, when lesbians are attracted to you, maybe one should have a little clue, but like you, I kept trying to be what I was told I was.

Once again, you seem to be getting it together and seem very clear about what you need to do. That is worth a million bucks. I know "regular" people who don't have that gift yet.

And yes thank God for our wives who love us, I know "regular" people who don't have that gift. I am also grateful for my children. I couldn't have kids for a long time (9 yrs), but one day a lady at my church prayed for us (without being asked she came up and prayed for my wife and I specifically for my testicles to produce, HOW EMBARASSING) but the next moth my wife got pregnant. Hmm. Little micracle kids I think. And yes, I am a good mom AND dad.

Anyway, chow for now
M

[Kim]

Hey Chelle,
   Yes, we seem to be on the same plaine. My childhood memories are flooding back since all this started. The docs stated that one's mind can only go so long working the way mine did to keep it all in line so to speak and then it has to release it's hold and everything comes flooding in. I now realize that from age 6 (at least) I knew I was a girl and got caught a few times. As for our treasures (AKA our kids  ), I have said all along that there's one scientist whom nobody fully knows the power of, God. And what he desires us to have we shall have - we just have to open our arms and aceept His gift, not to sound too relgious there. My breasts have been developing for about 10 months, and I am not sure how long it takes for them to finish growing. If thye wanna keep growing I'll keep celebrating it. I don't know how much my parents knew of my IS when I was born, but I know there was never any mention of it all my life and my mom (the dominate one) always tried to stop me from being a girl as I grew up and got caught dressing or acting fem,and wouldn't entertain my getting a doll for Christmas either. She's a black and white world type of person - in other words you are either male or female and there's nothing in between. I don't hold it against them, I just feel pity for people like that. An open mind is a great blessing I always say. And thank you for your words of support, and anything I can do for you to help feel free to load. Oh, I meant to mention that the IS I converse with a lot (I mentioned her earlier to you I believe) also has a partial vagina- but it's so narrow she can't get a finger in without a great amount of pain, even with lube. So I am not the only one in existence. Talk to you soon,
                                                   Kim   
(Know that my prayers are with you and your wife and children for a peaceful journey through all this)

[Michelle F]

Hey Kim,

You can "sound too religious" with me anytime you want to. Although I think there  is another forum for that, it's sad that people feel like they might offend someone talking about good things like God.

As to your breasts growing, I have heard it takes about 4 years or maybe a little more for them to fully mature, I only know about me. Then I have heard of women growing a full cup or more after menopause.

When people accuse me of taking HRT to look this way I say 1. My arms are still muscular so I didn't take any anti androgens, and 2.my mom is a triple H cup, My sister is a G cup (and both of them had reductions) They say that if you are on full HRT, your boobs will get within about a cup size of of your mom or sister, and I'm not quite that big....ouch.

Anyway, yes to the blessing of children, but I remember considering adoption.I remember the pain of trying for so long and getting no response. I remember the pain of people asking if I was shooting blanks, and I remember how people use it as a way of one-upping childless couples, I don't want to come across that way. I simply say that I am thankful. Not better, not worse than anyone else, just thankful for what I have.

Too bad about your mom. my sister hasn't spoken to me for a year now and my birth father has not returned a call or a letter in a year either. It's like everything goes into a black hole and never comes out.

The truth is that most people do the very best they can and they just think they are right. I cannot control how people feel. I do, however, feel less human, being castigated for something that I did not create. My mom did apoligize that she didn't take me to the dr. or something when I was young, which kind of makes me wonder since I do have some scars "down there". But I told her: some people are men, some people are women, and some people are hermaphrodites. You wouldn't feel guilty that I was born a man, or a woman, why feel guilty that I was born a hermaphrodite. (and yes I know people hate the "H" word, I apologize) My mom and I get along great, and one of my sisters and I get along great. My brother cried, because he used to make fun of my boobs. I finally revealed myself to an aunt when I told her why I wouldn't come for Thanksgiving, I just need a year or so to work through things for myself. She was really nice, and said "quite a good trick a girl getting another girl pregnant. I don't make the rules, evidently I just break them 

The way I look at this, revealing this about yourself gives you a magic window into people's souls. You find out real quick who is shallow, who is true, who is kind and who is cold. They think that I am telling them something about me, but the truth is that they tell me far more about themselves. After all, I'm talking anatomy, but they are showing their souls. End the end everyone around you is very kind and the cold people go away. Nice.

Enough for today, I gotta get ready for school in the morning. I got all my shots for my nursing program today and they stuck me so full of holes I'll leak when I drink a glass of water. 

Take care of yourself and yours
Luv
M

[Kim]

The dopiness on my part was thinking that since it's all there in full view (looks, breasts etc)and it's all on my MRI nobody could say it's all in my mind and not real and therefore there should be no problem with acceptance. As I said before, I have my pilot's licence for flyin in the wrong direction and this was one of those times. I've heard them say that the tests were mixed up, I've heard them say it's impossible because my body is fully grown and there's no room to grow new organs (like that's what I did) etc. As a famous philosopher has declared and I agree whole heartedly, "D'OH" . I just learn to live and let live, life is too short to do otherwise.
                                                           Kim