Hi there, findingreason, I'm sorry to hear that things have been going so badly lately. From what you describe of your cognitive problems, they do sound like they could be caused by depression. I've had varying levels of depression nearly all my life, and I can just about imagine exactly where you are: not ill enough to need a hospital, but too ill to function well outside of one. It's a lousy position to be in.
When I feel like that, I try to accomplish little things, like immediately showering and getting dressed when I get up, so I'm less tempted to go straight back to bed. They say that immediately making the bed can help with this too, but when I feel terrible that is the absolute last thing I want to do. I'd rather save my physical and emotional energy for things I get more out of. Another thing I try to do is avoid becoming isolated. Cutting yourself off from friends and family is so easy to do, especially if you're feeling like you have nothing to offer them anyway. But isolation makes everything so much worse. I volunteer at a suicide prevention website, and over and over I hear desperate people say, "I used to have friends, but now that I need someone to talk to, I have no one." My advice is to do what you can to keep lines of communication open, even barely.
Feel free to message me any time you like. I visit this board pretty much every day, even if I don't always post a lot. I hope things get better for you!
