Hi there, findingreason, I'm sorry to hear that things have been going so badly lately.  From what you describe of your cognitive problems, they do sound like they could be caused by depression.  I've had varying levels of depression nearly all my life, and I can just about imagine exactly where you are: not ill enough to need a hospital, but too ill to function well outside of one.  It's a lousy position to be in.

When I feel like that, I try to accomplish little things, like immediately showering and getting dressed when I get up, so I'm less tempted to go straight back to bed.  They say that immediately making the bed can help with this too, but when I feel terrible that is the absolute last thing I want to do.  I'd rather save my physical and emotional energy for things I get more out of.  Another thing I try to do is avoid becoming isolated.  Cutting yourself off from friends and family is so easy to do, especially if you're feeling like you have nothing to offer them anyway.  But isolation makes everything so much worse.  I volunteer at a suicide prevention website, and over and over I hear desperate people say, "I used to have friends, but now that I need someone to talk to, I have no one."  My advice is to do what you can to keep lines of communication open, even barely. 

Feel free to message me any time you like.  I visit this board pretty much every day, even if I don't always post a lot.  I hope things get better for you! 

Quote from: Jane Emily on April 16, 2017, 11:51:37 PM
Sleep is a 2-edged sword.  At times the body needs more sleep than usual to heal but during a major depression it's not your friend.  It is siren's call that if we answer it only makes our depression 1. worse or 2. keeps us from getting better.  I was told by a doctor that sleeping more than 9 hours a nite is not a great idea as tempting as it may seem.  Setting an alarm clock to prevent that kind of sleep and at least setting a goal of 9 or less hours a nite might be something to consider.  Also, the kind of sleep you are getting is very important. Delta wave sleep is the deepest sleep.  That's when the body releases HGH (Human Growth Hormone).  Too much sleep actually interferes with our ability to reach delta sleep or to remain there.

I definitely sleep way too much and I know it. I sleep on average anywhere from 10-14 hours a night lately....additionally I've been sleeping at very unusual hours. Going to bed between 4-6am, and waking up at 4-7pm. My normal sleep cycle when I'm doing mostly okay is around a 12-1am bedtime and around 10am wake up. However, it's possible that the increase in sunlight (16 hours a day now), and long twilight hours (nautical twilight lasts 3 hours total a day, and civil twilight about 2 hours) could be interfering further with my sleep. I needed to start using a sleep mask and putting the black out curtains shut.

Quote from: The Flying Lemur on April 19, 2017, 08:35:55 AM
Hi there, findingreason, I'm sorry to hear that things have been going so badly lately.  From what you describe of your cognitive problems, they do sound like they could be caused by depression.  I've had varying levels of depression nearly all my life, and I can just about imagine exactly where you are: not ill enough to need a hospital, but too ill to function well outside of one.  It's a lousy position to be in.

When I feel like that, I try to accomplish little things, like immediately showering and getting dressed when I get up, so I'm less tempted to go straight back to bed.  They say that immediately making the bed can help with this too, but when I feel terrible that is the absolute last thing I want to do.  I'd rather save my physical and emotional energy for things I get more out of.  Another thing I try to do is avoid becoming isolated.  Cutting yourself off from friends and family is so easy to do, especially if you're feeling like you have nothing to offer them anyway.  But isolation makes everything so much worse.  I volunteer at a suicide prevention website, and over and over I hear desperate people say, "I used to have friends, but now that I need someone to talk to, I have no one."  My advice is to do what you can to keep lines of communication open, even barely. 

Feel free to message me any time you like.  I visit this board pretty much every day, even if I don't always post a lot.  I hope things get better for you! 

Yeah, right now it's entirely possible that depression is interfering with my cognitive function. I'm hoping to see my psychiatrist soon to switch me to a new antidepressant. I know they aren't the total answer to depression, but if one can help me out of this rut enough that I can start functioning to lift myself out, I would be so eternally grateful. I'm teetering between that fine line of non-functional depression and hospitalization level depression, like you said. I've been having off and on suicidal thoughts the last few days. It's been a tough trip to get myself up in the afternoon, and stay up a whole day and do anything productive. Even posting on the forums take a lot of effort beyond just a few lines of text.

Thank you for your messaging offer, I will definitely keep it in mind. <3

Something about this thread bumped something in my head. Have you gone through a sleep study yet? That's where they wire you up for the night and monitor what happens while you sleep. If you are not getting the proper type of sleep for a number of reasons it could affect your awake state and make you require far more sleep than normal.

Quote from: Dena on April 23, 2017, 05:07:28 PM
Something about this thread bumped something in my head. Have you gone through a sleep study yet? That's where they wire you up for the night and monitor what happens while you sleep. If you are not getting the proper type of sleep for a number of reasons it could affect your awake state and make you require far more sleep than normal.

I have not---that's a good point. Very well worth bringing up to the psychiatrist and seeing if the appropriate department at the central hospital could do something.

So I just talked to my therapist today. She talked with my psychiatrist, and he is willing to switch my antidepressant to a new one. The only caveat is I have to wean off my current one first. I will be in a bit of a vulnerable state while I wean off, so I'm hoping I don't have any mental health crisis during this time, especially considering how much mental health instability I've had over the last few months. But ultimately this will be for the best cause I definitely need to try something new.

That's good.  I hope the next one you try does the trick. It took me 4 tries before I found Celexa which works well for me.  It's not uncommon to have to try several.  I hope everything goes well for you during the interim.

Have you considered abilify? I never had to but I've read it helps some people as an add-on to their ssri.