Going for the big one

[KathyLauren]

A week today, I will be coming out publicly in my community.  The people I have told so far have all been supportive, because I have been quite selective about whom I told.  But after next week, everyone in this small, rural community will know.  Eek!

I suspect most people will at least be polite even if they think I am the devil incarnate.  But there may be a few yahoos who push the boundaries of politeness and might get abusive.  But I can't hide any more.  The 'girls' won't let me, and I don't want to.

Our next-door neighbours have known for almost a year, and are firmly on my side.  There's another neighbour down the road whom we suspected would be a good ally.  We had her over for tea yesterday (We also invited her hubby, but he couldn't make it) and told her.  She was totally cool, and happy for me.  She also gave us her best guesses as to how various others in the community will take it. 

I am going to make the announcement at the weekly kaffeeklatsch next Thursday.  Between the neighbours and my wife, I will have five allies with me.  I will be in boy mode one last time for that.  Then, Friday, there is a community potluck dinner, and I will go as Kathy.

I have an appointment with the hairdresser on Wednesday to get my ponytail cut off and a little bit of styling done on what is left of my own hair, for the times when I don't want to wear a wig.  I'll have at least a ball cap on at all times if I'm not wearing a wig.  I also have a second wig on order that I should be able to pick up at the same time, so I'll have a choice of hair styles.

It is going to be a shock for some, especially those who don't hear the rumour before seeing me at the dinner.  But I need to rip this band-aid off.

[findingreason]

I know we don't know each other, but I want you to know I am proud of you! This is a huge step, and I hope all works out well. I am glad you are going to be with allies when you do come out. <3

[JeanetteLW]

Wow ! You go girl! Kathy

I know I could not have done (can't do) anything like that in the short time you have invested in your journey so far. It's been what? 4 months since you start showing yourself to others?  I'm sure it hasn't been very long.  More power to you for getting the job done. I'm in awe of you.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

[Steph(Fairgirl)]

Hi Kathy,

You look amazing and so very happy.
With your infectious smile and positive approach you will be just fine.
Stay strong and just be yourself.
I don't think you'll need it but I will keep my fingers crossed.

Hugs
Steph x

[DawnOday]

A week today, I will be coming out publicly in my community.  The people I have told so far have all been supportive, because I have been quite selective about whom I told.  But after next week, everyone in this small, rural community will know.  Eek!

I suspect most people will at least be polite even if they think I am the devil incarnate.  But there may be a few yahoos who push the boundaries of politeness and might get abusive.  But I can't hide any more.  The 'girls' won't let me, and I don't want to.

Our next-door neighbours have known for almost a year, and are firmly on my side.  There's another neighbour down the road whom we suspected would be a good ally.  We had her over for tea yesterday (We also invited her hubby, but he couldn't make it) and told her.  She was totally cool, and happy for me.  She also gave us her best guesses as to how various others in the community will take it. 

I am going to make the announcement at the weekly kaffeeklatsch next Thursday.  Between the neighbours and my wife, I will have five allies with me.  I will be in boy mode one last time for that.  Then, Friday, there is a community potluck dinner, and I will go as Kathy.

I have an appointment with the hairdresser on Wednesday to get my ponytail cut off and a little bit of styling done on what is left of my own hair, for the times when I don't want to wear a wig.  I'll have at least a ball cap on at all times if I'm not wearing a wig.  I also have a second wig on order that I should be able to pick up at the same time, so I'll have a choice of hair styles.

It is going to be a shock for some, especially those who don't hear the rumour before seeing me at the dinner.  But I need to rip this band-aid off.

Don't forget the pepper spray. Don't leave home without it. When you least expect it, expect it.

[Janes Groove]

This is great! Congratulations.  A small town in Canada will never be the same again.

[KathyLauren]

Thanks, ladies! 

It's been what? 4 months since you start showing yourself to others?

It was October when I first went out in public dressed as Kathy.  Since then, I have been going into the city once a week dressed for the support group.  So, six months, I guess, though it seems longer.

I am trying to move this transition along as fast as I can.  Who knows how much time I have left on this planet?  I want to make the most of it.

A small town in Canada will never be the same again.

Haha!  It's barely a hamlet.  Yeah, it sure won't be the same!

[Denise]

I think that's a great plan.  Announce in guy mode and go the next time as Kathy.  Then people who are not supportive, hopefully, will not cause a scene while Kathy is there.

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[HappyMoni]

Kathy,   

   I remember when you were trying to come out to your wife. You are so much more confident now. It is so good to see. Make room for your new reality. It's amazing how toward the end of the old reality, it becomes unbearable to sustain. I understand why you can't wait to move on. I hope it goes extremely well.
Moni

[KathyLauren]

Well, I don't know about confidence: I am having WTF moments every five minutes!  But it was your support, Moni, that convinced me that I had to be true to myself.  I have to do this, so I'm going to fake it 'til I make it.

The quote in my signature line says, "Casting off dull certainty".  Nothing is certain now, and it definitely won't be dull, so I guess I'm living that line now.  I don't know if I am ready for this, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Rayna]

Kathy,

You will be fine. Our love to you. It will be "interesting" to see varied reactions among your community. Sounds like you'll have a lot of support anyway.

Love,
Randy

[Denise]

The day before coming out to the world a good friend suggested that the feelings I was having were the same as changing jobs.  Leaving a job that I was comfortable with for a better job.


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[KathyLauren]

Tomorrow is my big day, but the fun was going to start this evening with a phone call to the local Fire Chief.  I'm on the volunteer fire department, and I wanted to give him a heads up so that he is not taken by surprise when the rumours start flying tomorrow.  I was shaking when I reached for the phone ... poop, no answer.  I'll call again in a few minutes, then I'll have to leave him a message to call me.  I hate getting all psyched up and then not getting through. 

Now I'm a bundle of nerves!  I hope I can sleep tonight.

[JeanetteLW]

  You've got this Kathy. I can appreciate the relief/let down of the not getting to do what you've psyhed yourself up to doing and then couldn't. Relief that you didn't have to and disappointment you couldn't. A lot of the thing we have to do have those aspects to them. A great procrastinator like myself becomes super relieved but I do wish I could get some of those steps taken.
  Kathy you will get this done. I have no doubt. We are all rooting for a successful day tomorrow for you. We will be here awaiting the good words telling us you did it! And we will be reading just those words, You have done to much for this day not to happen.

Hugs,
    Jeanette

[KathyLauren]

Thanks, Jeanette! 

I got through to him on the second attempt, so that's one down.  He was supportive; that's a plus.  Phew!

[KathyLauren]

I told the coffee group this morning.  I don't think they all got it, and a few sat in stony-faced silence, but all the comments I got were supportive, including a few from people I wasn't sure of.  So, on the whole, it went well.

I'll get a better perspective of the community's reaction tomorrow night when I will go to the community pot-luck dinner as Kathy.

[Devlyn]

Good on ya, Kathy! We all want our steps to be victories, and to gain acceptance. I'm going to thank you on behalf of those to come. They'll be using the road that you paved. Someday a grandchild will come out and receive a hug  rather than stony silence. Your actions are making an impact on the world, never forget that.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Rayna]

Yes! You're now where so many of us have wanted to be but aren't yet. We admire and support you.

Sometimes stony silence isn't negative, just silent. People may take some time to process, or wait and see, or they are afraid to act supportive until they see what their friends are doing. Over time many will come around.
Love Randy

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[JeanetteLW]

   My gosh! You brave lady. I am so proud of you being able  to take this step. You knew some would not accept your announcement and those folks do not matter, Those that do matter are the ones that will accept and support you. Lean on them. Keep up your brave resolve to be Kathy tomorrow night. It will set your free.
  You have all of our support Kathy.  ((( HUG )))
  I hope some day I can follow your example.

  Hugs,
   Jeanette

[The Flying Lemur]

Wow, that really took guts!  Much respect.  I hope I'm as brave when it's my turn.