MTF Being Noticed By Men

[VeronicaLynn]

I don't really like or want male attention. I do like and want female attention.

I tend to treat men like I do large stray dogs, and just ignore them and avoid eye contact and hope they go away, so for the most part I can't tell if they are checking me out or not, though I think some of them are, and so what if they are, they aren't going home with me.

I find that some women are a lot more open and talkative with me if they notice, though most people in general are so self absorbed and/or so focused on their smart phone these days, I could probably walk by buck naked and they wouldn't notice.

[pretty pauline]

Says he likes to buy "new people" a beer and putting his hand on my shoulder and arm. It was a little disconcerting and made me kind of anxious. I got a good dose of what the average woman has to deal with everyday.  Once you adopt the female social role, it can get real weird.

You made the point very well Jentay, the whole new attention from men was a bit disconcerting and unnerving at first, but now as a woman I had to deal with it, comes with the territory, but certain touching was hard to get use to and inappropriate, many years ago shortly after my transition was complete I was at a work social and a work colleague, a guy, grabbing me and putting his arm around me and squeezing my waist and another slapping my butt, I was absolutely shocked at the time, but the reaction from cis women shocked me even more, ''boys will be boys'' I certainly got a good dose of what the average woman has to deal with everyday, but they were more use to it than I was, the female social role is completely different than what I was used to before transition, very weird at first, but learning to live as a woman, it got a lot easier and better over time, it does take time.

[RobynD]

Being noticed aside, "boys will be boys" and personal space and physical violation is never acceptable. If a guy slaps me on the butt that i am not in relationship with, he would do well to make sure he has health insurance coverage.  At the very least he could face hearing damage from the tirade of unpleasantries i would likely be releasing on him.

Now i don't see subtle physical stuff as being in the same category. Gently touching your arm or hand while someone speaks to you is fine. Asking permission to touch you in a nice way is awesome. Those guys should get happy face stickers. Hugs between friends, side hugs between friends and kissing on the cheek all just fine, but you have to have some relationship for that sort of social touching in my opinion.

[Brenda3156]

Thanks for all the comments. I have always been a very open and friendly person to everyone, so that makes me approachable to begin with. After reading some of the responses I have realized that there are other things too. Men have been opening doors for me. I hadn't considered it part of things until I read this. I do enjoy the attention when it happens. I know my scent has changed. I guess  the way I act has changed some too because I do feel more feminine. I'm probably sending out female cues without realizing it. This whole process is very interesting and enjoyable.

[sarah1972]

First time ever I went out in public with purple finger nails and a tight boot cut jeans I caught a few guys staring at my butt. It was a mix between feeling creepy about and a happy dance. That was 5 month before I even started hormones. Seems like men take queues not only from smell but also visual appearance. When I turned around the guys where pretty shocked...

Besides that: I have noticed that women in general are much more sensitive to noticing my transition. The number of women directly ask about it is much higher then men. Also men mostly react similar to me telling them about the weather. "OK" is about all I get. Women usually chat much longer about the subject.

So - there is a difference in how I get recognized.

[Claire]

I have no experience with any of this but here's a NY Times article by Jenny Boylan on her experiences

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/07/style/modern-love-jennifer-finney-boylan.html


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Charlie Nicki]

I'm definitely looking forward to this.

[pretty pauline]

I have no experience with any of this but here's a NY Times article by Jenny Boylan on her experiences

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/07/style/modern-love-jennifer-finney-boylan.html


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That was a great read, I could so relate to all that. I remember many years ago at college school a very unpleasant guy, none of the guys liked him including myself, he was a bully agressive and always being competitive, fierce and ruthless, but incredible charming around women.
Many years after I transition I met him at a college reunion, he didn't recognise me but he was like a completely different guy, he was so charming, if I didn't know him from before he could have swept me off my feet, I could have been totally smitten by him, I was now seeing him from a woman's view, it was really weird, he bought me a cocktail and very much a gentleman towards me, he was definitely flirting with me but knowing him from my other life, well he wasn't my type of guy, but I understand now as a woman that men and women can interact differently towards each other, guys can be so aggressive towards other guys, but the same guys very charming towards women, and some women can be very bitchy towards other women.

[femfem]

I am 10 months into HRT and I still present as male but I have noticed that other men are starting to pay more attention to me. At first I thought I was just imagining it. Yesterday myself and my wife were sitting in a bar and a man came up and hit on me right in front of my wife. I mean the whole bit, striking up a conversation, innocent touching for no reason, openly flirting and being overly friendly. Both myself and my supportive wife enjoyed it but it surprised me. Can men sense the changes in me? Has anyone else had this kind of experience?

Lol that's awesome. When I first started transitioning, and didn't even entirely pass (just looked like a very feminine guy), men would talk to me in high-pitched voices like they do now that I look like a female.

I remember one guy shaking my hand like I was a girl (grabbing it by the fingers and holding onto it ever so slightly)---and again, I wasn't even in my feminine form yet. It will eventually turn into guys hitting on you left, right, and center, if you're like me. I can't even leave my apartment without some guy chatting me up on the elevator. Seriously, we're talkin' at least five times a day, usually even more if there are a lot of people out. Hormones are awesome lol.

[paula lesley]

But we are all so beautiful, so they will 



Paula, X.

[RobynD]

I have no experience with any of this but here's a NY Times article by Jenny Boylan on her experiences

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/07/style/modern-love-jennifer-finney-boylan.html


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Very interesting article on her experiences and friendship.

I'm somewhat put off by male friends and acquaintances assuming i might be interested in them sexually. They communicate this in a variety of ways. Some of it at times sounds like it is a protection mechanism because they think i want them, and they want to communicate they do not, otherwise its something different. I get that they need to process my change but still, i find it pretty strange.

Another one is guys looking at boobs (some women too), that is different and takes getting use to. Its seems only semi-voluntary to many people.

[Alanna1990]

I am 10 months into HRT and I still present as male but I have noticed that other men are starting to pay more attention to me. At first I thought I was just imagining it. Yesterday myself and my wife were sitting in a bar and a man came up and hit on me right in front of my wife. I mean the whole bit, striking up a conversation, innocent touching for no reason, openly flirting and being overly friendly. Both myself and my supportive wife enjoyed it but it surprised me. Can men sense the changes in me? Has anyone else had this kind of experience?

It happens, people looking at me and stuff, don't mind them, since I'm not atracted to them, it became a daily happening when I  started looking more feminine, they usually ask me out, what can I tell you, enjoy it, it just means that you're cute to other people, and that's always good.

[thegator]

i had something kinda similar happen to me, at a taco shop filling my soda cup man with his back to be on my right side turns really fast and just stairs at me, and has a super confused looked on his face... right around the time my scent was changing and you can smell it too at times and the hairs on the body where turning fine and like white or blonde and not the 1st time to out and about having this happen.

i am now on my 3rd year about 5 months in to the 3rd year and i feel i dont pass, by apperance and voice and my man hands but i tend to notice a women looking back AT TIMES>.. in the mirror but at times, and also depends on what i wear

and when that happens people call me Miss/ms, but i am still trying to figure things out but yeah

THEY NOTICE... 
- started 5 months before i turned 27 and now 29.

[HappyMoni]

   Being gender confused most of my life, I didn't date much. I found my wife a 37 years ago. I think for those two reasons, I gave off a vibe that was, "Keep your distance. Not interested in flirting." I now am on the other gender team, and I don't know if that vibe will stay or not. I don't often go into situations where that might be tested. I think I would be shocked if anyone ever hit on me. Oh, maybe I am a little naive. My wife came up to me at a trans conference as I was talking to someone. This trans woman was complimenting me on how good I looked. I introduced my partner and the woman quickly took off. My partner said, "She was hitting on you." I said, "Nah, oh go on! No way!" I still think if I ever got hit on, I would be floored or sadly wouldn't realize it. lol
Moni

[Arctophile117]

I think guys lizard brains can smell the pheromones from the massive amount of girl dope that were on. I'm sure many of them wonder why they liked us so much when... to them, we're just other guys. Noticed it myself after a time. Must say, it is weird. I was presenting as a guy in a bar with a female friend. An obviously straight guy walks up to me and says he's never seen me here before. Says he likes to buy "new people" a beer and putting his hand on my shoulder and arm. It was a little disconcerting and made me kind of anxious. I got a good dose of what the average woman has to deal with everyday. Male privilege generally allows you to go through life ignored. Once you adopt the female social role, it can get real weird. The average guy would definitely consider the experiences you'll have as a violation of his space. Part of the territory I suppose. And it's going to happen.

Speaking of lizard brains (HAHA), is it just that I'm so early in (only 3 months), or does anyone else turn into a stuttering fool when they smell a great looking guy walk past whereas before they'd just been like, "hey he smells good"?

[IdontEven]

Speaking of lizard brains (HAHA), is it just that I'm so early in (only 3 months), or does anyone else turn into a stuttering fool when they smell a great looking guy walk past whereas before they'd just been like, "hey he smells good"?

Can't speak for anyone else, but I never considered a guy to smell good until after hormones

And I don't stutter, but I get quiet and timid and the room gets way too warm if they're near me for more than like a minute. Took me a bit to figure that one out - being physically responsive to guys was a big surprise.

And I'm still getting used to finding some guys visually attractive, an even newer thing for me. The first time I said to myself "he's cute" I practically heard a voice in my head go "wow, foreal? did you really just think that?"

Life...is weird. Fun tho, at times

[Arctophile117]

Can't speak for anyone else, but I never considered a guy to smell good until after hormones

And I don't stutter, but I get quiet and timid and the room gets way too warm if they're near me for more than like a minute. Took me a bit to figure that one out - being physically responsive to guys was a big surprise.

And I'm still getting used to finding some guys visually attractive, an even newer thing for me. The first time I said to myself "he's cute" I practically heard a voice in my head go "wow, foreal? did you really just think that?"

Life...is weird. Fun tho, at times

I know! I mean, I've always been attracted to guys to a degree (though not nearly as much as to women), but now I'm more aware of them. I wouldn't say more attracted, just more... aware. Yes, definitely weird, but in a good way.

[RobynD]

Guys smell soooo good to me now. So yeah, i totally believe HRT did that.

[Michelle_P]

Guys smell soooo good to be now. So yeah, i totally believe HRT did that.

Well, I know I can smell things better than I used to, but yow!  I passed a couple of guys today who smelled strongly, but definitely not good.  So maybe this is a 'your mileage may vary' sort of thing?  Or there are too many well dressed but hygiene-challenged folks in town today?

But yeah, my sense of smell has definitely picked up recently.  One more oddity of life.  As I told the therapist, "This is the first time I've changed my gender, so everything is a novel experience to me."

[RobynD]

Without a doubt there is a point where too much smell or too old or whatever is not appealing, but the pheromones are working on levels lower than that for me.

I agree with you on the sense of general smell. For instance, i smell musty or muskiness much better than i did in the past.

I think guys pick up our changed pheromones as well.