When your appearance is in-between how do you know which bathroom to go to?

[femfem]

I'm currently about to start hormones and I was wondering when is it proper to change which bathroom you go to?

I've been wearing exclusively skirts and tights and camisoles for 4 years and have consistently been evil-eyed in the men's room.

I get gendered both ways all the time.  Just depends on where I am.

But how long should I wait on hormones before I just start not using the men's restroom?

You dress in tights and skirts all the time?

I'd definitely dress down a little bit, because you're going to draw stares solely because of your manner of dressing, let alone that most pre-HRT trans women don't pass.

I've only gone out in public with a skirt and tights once, and it was Halloween Night ( I also wore pigtails lol). Ultimately, I got verbally harassed by some girl my age, who's probably a lot more conservative than I am---and I pass.

So, I don't see a similarly-dressed pre-HRT trans woman experiencing positive restroom trips. I'd suggest dressing much more conservatively, and then trying the women's restroom. If you get a bad vibe from being in there, that's a cue that you're not passing as female, which is a hard feeling to cope with.

[Sofie L]

With my hair to my shoulders, and carrying a purse, and wearing non-gendered clothing as much as possible, I certainly have gotten some stares in the men's room. The best are the guys who walk in and see me washing my hands. They almost fall over themselves coming to a complete stop as they question whether they walked into the wrong washroom. I've only been challenged once, by a crewman on a ferry that I was travelling on. "Oh, ma'am, that's the wrong toilet!" I don't know who was the more embarassed, him or I!

The truth is, I would probably be o.k. in the ladies at this point, but I'm scared s**tless by all this trans-bathroom paranoia that's floating throught the media these days. All my i.d. is still in my male name and gender. All I'd need is for one person to freak out and call a cop, and I'd have a lot of explaining to do...

These days, I just try to find a Starbucks for their gender-free w.c. as I despise going into the men's. I suppose I will have to take the plunge soon enough, now that I'm thinking about it.

[Niki Knight]

Use the washroom that matches how your presenting. The tights and skirt gives it away and agree if your using the mens bathroom present more male.

However I'm presenting at the time, thats the bathroom I use. If I have to present as male and use the mens washroom I make sure I look the part. With the long platinum hair, earrings and natural feminine features heads turn if I don't dress the part.

When presenting female and using the women washroom I have noticed other women are very friendly and will even start a conversation. Others will just smile and carry on with their business.

If your scared sh**less using the women's washroom remember women are much more accepting than men. If your washing your hands while looking in the mirror and you see a girl or women giving a quick glimpse or look just look back smile and carry on. This is a very normal interaction for women. .I think with a few more visits to the little girls room and the building of confidence you will be pleasantly surprised how comfortable you become.

Huggs Niki Marie

[TonyaW]

I'm finding that my issue is not feeling a need to be in the ladies room but that I hate being in the men's room.  I'd never use the men's if wearing a skirt.

I try for a gender neutral if available no matter how im presenting.  And to me, any bathroom with a lock on the door is gender neutral regardless of what the sign outside may say.


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[Nari]

You dress in tights and skirts all the time?

I'd definitely dress down a little bit, because you're going to draw stares solely because of your manner of dressing, let alone that most pre-HRT trans women don't pass.

I've only gone out in public with a skirt and tights once, and it was Halloween Night ( I also wore pigtails lol). Ultimately, I got verbally harassed by some girl my age, who's probably a lot more conservative than I am---and I pass.

So, I don't see a similarly-dressed pre-HRT trans woman experiencing positive restroom trips. I'd suggest dressing much more conservatively, and then trying the women's restroom. If you get a bad vibe from being in there, that's a cue that you're not passing as female, which is a hard feeling to cope with.

But thats no fun!   The only time I ever dressed conservatively was in the Army and I hated it.