How does the never ending violence against trans affect yor transition

[stephaniec]

How do you cope with  violence against the transgender community. It does botherr me more and more
, but you need to live.

[KathyLauren]

In the last week, I have come out publicly and received feedback from dozens of people.  All of it has been positive.  Perhaps that has skewed my viewpoint.  When I read about the violence against trans people, I cry.  Then I thank my lucky stars that it is 2017 and that I live where I do.

[RobynD]

For me - it really has not. I just make sure i am safety conscious. If i was running around in the middle of the night a lot and going to more clubs and parties etc i would have to turn that up a notch i think, but we all have to go about our lives or the idiots win.

[Kylo]

I cope with it because violence is a sad fact of life. You don't have to be trans to be attacked and/or killed. I knew people who were cut short of life for "less". There will never be 100% safety in the world for anyone. It could be a lot better, of course... but for now one just has to watch one's back and be mindful - or to some extent distrustful of others.

It doesn't affect my transition. I don't trust people. Some may eventually find themselves in the "inner circle" in which I would trust them with some things, but I never forget the capacity of anybody to inflict violence. I grew up around it, seen it, experienced it etc. Even the most unassuming people are perfectly capable of it. So, I'll continue doing what I am doing, but with a sharper eye trained on others, and I'll maintain my distance from most. Which are two of the reasons I'm still alive today to type this. . . for reasons completely unrelated to the topic, but completely related to how insidious human beings can be.

[Alicia Francesca]

I refuse to live my life in fear.Although it never hurts to be prepared.Concealed carry and good self deffence training is something one should consider.Just like everyone should.

[Janes Groove]

How do you cope with  violence against the transgender community.

Karate.

[Kylo]

Just the other day I asked my friend to get something out of my coat pocket where my coat was hanging up and he expressed surprise at the various defensive implements that're always in there. Well you can't be too careful, can you.

[Shy]

Everyone is effected by violence, it's just that we are a minority group that you hear more about it when a trans person is effected.
Some trans people are also perpetrators of violence.

[AnonyMs]

I don't think it makes much difference to me as it's quite safe where I live, but I've stopped travelling to or via via certain countries and probably won't visit the USA again.

[Raell]

Good idea, AnonyMs. At least for now. And, for sure, not in the south.

[EmmaLoo]

Its hard to deny its a genuine threat when Evangelical leaders in this country are calling for people to talk up arms and shoot transgender people using the bathroom.

Religious Freedom, and Stand Your Ground laws are only making things worse in a lot of places. Everyone should be vigilante about putting themselves in high risk situations.



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[staciM]

I don't think it makes much difference to me as it's quite safe where I live, but I've stopped travelling to or via via certain countries and probably won't visit the USA again.

My wife and I have an RV trip planned from Canada through Montana, Wyoming and a bit of Idaho to see Yellowstone and Grand Teton.  My wife is concerned and wants to cancel, I'm honestly torn.  Beyond the fears of outward discrimination and possible violence she believe we just shouldn't be spending money in a country that is clearly trying to destroy our rights.  Tough decision since it's a beautiful part of the country.

[FTMax]

It hasn't really. One of my hobbies/interests is personal preparedness (for emergencies, disasters, significant deviations from the norm, etc.), and part of that is acknowledging and understanding that I might potentially be a target for violence if the wrong person finds out that I am trans. So I treat it like any other thing I prepare for and divide it into two parts - mitigation and response.

In terms of mitigating the threat of violence - I do my best to blend in. I make deliberate choices about the places I go and the activities I engage in. I don't share too much about my life with new people until I've had a chance to get to know them.

In terms of response - I have received great training in armed and unarmed self defense through my previous job. I have a concealed carry permit that is valid in every state I travel to regularly, and I am typically armed in public. I am very comfortable responding to violence with violence that has greater stopping power.

But the fact is, like Kylo said, anybody anywhere anyday could be a victim of violence. I would still act the exact same way if I weren't trans. I don't think it's over the top or paranoid, or that it reduces my quality of life. I actually think a lot of the violence in the world could be avoided if more people felt the same way or were at least more safety conscious.

Good idea, AnonyMs. At least for now. And, for sure, not in the south.

Also, I live in the south and have never once felt uncomfortable at any stage of my transition in public. Don't be so quick to generalize.

[CrziCricket]

I have definitely been much more aware of it.... I honestly am more afraid for my families possible pain than my own.

I do live in a relatively accepting place, being a capital city of a blue state helps, and I have family in the SF/Bay Area so that also helps. I am surrounded by people who accept that people should just do what makes them happy, even if they do not understand the reasons. (many don't think it is their business to know the reasons you do what makes you happy)

It does make me afraid to visit my hubby's family in the future... they live in the bible belt and it was awkward enough before I came out (I am not out to them yet) I am afraid to go visit them in their little town before I make any serious changes to my body... They live in a VERY small town and I don't think it would go over well if I didn't look completely cis and could be perceived as cis...
I believe that town would handle a 'gay' couple (we identify as both sexually queer people) much easier than a trans person. Being gay is something they can understand...

[DawnOday]

It has much to do with it really. Too bad people can't just worry about themselves and not what others are doing. Why can't they open their eyes and view everyone as human beings  I am so afraid I will be accosted. My former self would have responded to the jeers. But I am learning.

[ainsley]

It has had no affect on my transition here in the middle of Missouri.  Everyone is armed, including trans* people, so we are all even here.   

But, seriously, I have never experienced violence as a result of my transition, nor witnessed any on any other trans*. I consider myself fortunate.

[KathyLauren]

My wife and I have an RV trip planned from Canada through Montana, Wyoming and a bit of Idaho to see Yellowstone and Grand Teton.  My wife is concerned and wants to cancel, I'm honestly torn.  Beyond the fears of outward discrimination and possible violence she believe we just shouldn't be spending money in a country that is clearly trying to destroy our rights.  Tough decision since it's a beautiful part of the country.

That's a good point.  A year ago at this time, I was planning to travel to the US to see the eclipse in August.  Since then, I have decided not to go because of the possibility of violence or harassment in that country.

[AnonyMs]

In terms of response - I have received great training in armed and unarmed self defense through my previous job. I have a concealed carry permit that is valid in every state I travel to regularly, and I am typically armed in public. I am very comfortable responding to violence with violence that has greater stopping power.

I might do the same if I lived there, but as an Australian that kind of thing really puts me off visiting the USA. How bad is it that you need to live like that? Sounds like a war zone.

[Sinclair]

I do worry about it and it does effect me at times. That said, that's based mostly on my own uber mode of keeping me safe. I have not seen any negative reactions to me when being myself. When I go to the grocery store guys stare at my boobs (they are little, but cute and perky!) and the female cashiers often remark on how pretty my nail polish is. My empathy goes out to the people living in the middle east where the entire LGBTQ community is literately thrown off rooftops to their deaths.

As far as my transition here in the USA, I feel safe. But, it's always a good standard to follow basic safety rules. Know where you are, and the people who are around you, and if u must, adjust accordingly.

[Kylo]

I might do the same if I lived there, but as an Australian that kind of thing really puts me off visiting the USA. How bad is it that you need to live like that? Sounds like a war zone.

Really not as bad as a war zone. I've a lot of friends and relatives in the USA but if I tally up the number of incidents, deaths, shootings, stabbings etc. I heard about from people I know, it's actually even with what I hear from the UK. We have ridiculously strict gun control in the UK, yet there's been more incidents on my family's street in the city they live in involving guns and people being shot at in their cars than with my friends on theirs who live in LA, St. Petersburg FL, Macon or Seattle. There's more incidents in general in the US per capita, but in terms of experience, it's as if there are more gun-related incidents I hear about over here... only people are not allowed to protect themselves.