Starting again

[suregirl]

Hi everyone,I am completly new to all of this internet stuff so please make allowances if I mess up!-I started hormone therapy some ten years ago when I was 32 all was going well and I had my 1st refferal for surgery in place at Charing x,I then for some strange reason started going to church,although I was made to feel welcome I was never fully accepted as I was after a time of soul searching I made the decision to revert back to living as a man(ha)-What a mistake,i felt ok for a while but old feelings quickly re surfaced,I turned to drink and drugs to supress these feelings but after a while realised that this is never going to go away-I am now at a point where I know that I am T/S and have started on hormones again although I am doing this unsupervised,I am terrified of having to go back to Charing x as i feel that I am going to be judged for not completing the 1st time-does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions that may be helpful?-

[Jordan]

First of all, no never feel bad, I mean what have you really done.  Transition in full is private journey, a journey that you were not ready for.  Thats your choice, and I think you should say it with confidence, IT MY CHOICE WHEN< WHY<HOW< BECAUSE<WITH WHOM!!!

FIRST THOUGH, if those hormones wernt prescribed quit it. period. QUIT IT.  You could kill yourself.

hit up a therapist, and start over just like you did, and do every thing the right way if you are truly ready.
And honestly when it comes to being judged, come on I feel like a joke when I wear a skirt and get all dressed up in front of my girlfirend but I really dont care cause i am fullfilling my needs, and its making me happy, if it makes her laugh, sweet, then I am the funny guy.

She is always telling me it looks like I got all drunk and lost a bet. LOL

I Love being transsexual, i am someone special.

As for the church thing, I am right on par with you.  I am spiritual but they will never accept us (not all but as a whole).  Is it really so hard for them to grasp that maybe god made us this way!!!!??  Maybe hes cool with it, or even intended it.  Its like there are being so damn ignorant of basic facts, that science can prove.  And they call themselves spiritualy open, more like close minded hypocrates.

There should be an online church for TG people that webcams every sunday. lol (hey maybe i will start one lol)

[evelynaGR]

First, you don't need other people acceptance or permission to speak with THEM!

Second Hormone therapy NEED A THERAPIST OBSERVATION!!! Period!!!

I take herbal supplements for now, but if I decide to go on hormones there is only ONE PATH and you can't make stupid things in that.

I've make the same mistake, I realise who I am in the age of 25-30 but I was afraid to accepted. THAT WAS A VERY BAD DECISION FOR ME.

P.S. so my vote it's YES - TODAY

[Pica Pica]

hello, welcome to the forum.

go back to them, or the gp or someone. if things didn't work out before that is no shame. transition has to be better than isolation.
god be with you if you believe in them, and we'll be with you any which way.

[tinkerbell]

Hello there and welcome to Susan's!


Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay

tink

[TheBattler]

Hiya Suregirl,

Wellcome to Susans - I hope you enjoy your stay. Your stry seams to be a sad one - but you will find happiness again - I know it is possible.

Alice

[RebeccaFog]

Hi suregirl,

   Welcome to Susan's.

   You should not feel shame about anything you've done.  Shame is just unnecessary baggage and really has no place in anyone's life.
   You should, however, see professionals.  You do not want to hurt yourself inadvertently.  You will feel better with a complete support system and access to professionals for any problems that may arise.

   Please take care of yourself, you are important to all of us.


Peace,

Rebis

[cindybc]

Hi Suregirl welcome to Susan's, I do hope you find what you seek from this message board.

I'll tell you something, I would rather not know which church it was that messed you up like that, "VERMIN!!!" 

I to am spiritual, North American Native Spirituality. May Great Spirit be with you.

Cindy

[Wing Walker]

Hello, Suregirl,

In things as complex as ourselves we sometimes make errors in our judgment.  Many things figure into our bad decisions, things like fear, hate, greed, and even something that might have been meant to serve a good purpose --- religion.

My hunch is that the Charing Cross facility isn't the greatest there is but may I suggest that, in order to prevent your becoming another statistic, you return and pick-up where you left off?  It certainly beats trying to go it fully alone with no access to lab tests and other things that keep us safe.

I have been on HRT since 2002 and my doctors keep an eye on my blood chemistry.

Please consider starting there again.  If you go there and you are not treated with dignity, then leave and write to me.  I am not a magician or even a resident of the UK but I listen well and if I can help you, I will, and if I can't, I won't waste your time.

Even if your HRT goes perfectly it would be a shame to not have it documented as a requirement for GRS.

Please reconsider and keep me apprised, if you so desire.

Sincerely,

Wing Walker

[Christo]

Welcome to susans place suregirl