So, Hi I am 20 years old I only woke up to the idea of being uncomfortable as a man about a month or two ago, But now when I look back on my life now I see now how stupid and repressing I had been for not realising sooner mostly due to not wanting to make a fuss. I was never a social butterfly and for most of my life i lived on the periphery watching everyone try to fit in. As i grew old I began to be rebelious and rarely listened in school, Once in college I began drinking heavily and even now as I write this I have been drinking for most of this afternoon but enough of the sob story. I Have finally awoken due to a few things 1. I started watching Sense8 when I first saw it on netflix and Nomi's storyline fasinated (This was also around the same time I started to get curious about my self) I saw how she stood up for what she believed in and how she defied her parents to be be happy with who she was and what she wanted to be. 2. I got a job before christmas, my first proper job i was so happy yet so scaried that my crazy personality would ->-bleeped-<- it all up or that nobody would like me, but nothing went wrong and for the first time I felt accepted for who I was and that my crazy and their crazy could work together. 3. I started drinking less forcing my self to stop to not crave it, even if now it means I cry myself to sleep some nights think about what other people would think of me, what my parents might think of me, and everytime I go to that dark place inside of me, a place that i hate about myself, a place that has driven me to the edge so many times, I think about what my mom would think if I gave up so easily. So dark bit out of the way all rainbows and sunshine from here on out. So here I am current place, current time, After about a week researching find others like me and this place, I am Out in the open, Soon to be seeing a GP about HRT's and my future as a lovely woman and my uncertian ahead.
Well I hope you enjoyed a little look into my miserable, boring life so far. If you have any questions or just want someone to talk to then you can find me on twitter @FIR3F7Y or post them here if you just want to share. And thanks for taking the time to read.
