Hey Toni (great name BTW), I'm on the opposite side of your decision. I am almost 40, married and father of 3. I came to the conclusion that the struggles of my gender conflict and having to hide it from those I loved the most was killing me, quite literally. I was headed down a path that I was sure would end up with me either hurting them or myself or both. So I had to make the extremely difficult decision to transition with full knowledge that it would likely cost me my marriage. My kids handled it fine but indeed my marriage appears to be headed toward an end. It's painful and has caused major upheaval in our lives, but in the end I can't imagine it would have been much better in the long run if I had done nothing.
Ultimately, only you can decide what the right path is for you. You have to consider the same questions. Where will you be in 5, 10, 15 years if you don't transition versus if you do? When you're on your deathbed say 35 years from now, and you never transitioned, will you regret it or do you believe you'd be content having not transitioned? Unfortunately, while the good folks here can help you identify the questions you need to ask and challenge you to be honest with yourself, none of us can tell you the answers to those questions. Whatever your ultimate decision, I hope it's one your able to be at peace with.
