I have this problem. Well, I guess it isn't really a problem, just an... interesting situation.
So there's a guy that I work with. Very cute, hilarious, fun, and very gay. The first (and only) person I was able to come out to about maybe being trans at work, mostly due to him being the only other LGBTQ person in my unit (most of my comrades are just pretty sure I'm somewhere on the spectrum, they just don't quite know where, and they don't really ask).
Anyway.
I think he's got a thing for me. There's little stuff here and there that's lead me to that conclusion, like today, we were talking an he was expressing concerns about not feeling like he's attractive enough for other people, and in trying to tell him he can't rely on other people's views I said something along the lines of "well take a look at me. Like I am very obviously not masculine. I would love for someone to think of me that way, but who is ever going to think I'm attractive in a husky, masculine sort of way?"
He raised his hand. Awkward stare. He said "but I just think you're perfect the way you are, so..."
Not sure if he was just being kind or trying to intone something else. But there's little things like that that he throws around on a daily basis.
Also EVERY time he sees me, he makes a point to talk to me. Even if I'm having a conversation with my NCO and he's just coming into the office (he works elsewhere in the building, but our office provides the "break room" for everyone in our unit) to take a break from being around the general, he will wait around until I'm done with said conversation just to say hi or pull me out to the smoke pit to talk and then go back to work.
Like I said, he's cute, he's funny, he's pretty great and I like his personality.
But here's the problem:
I know from our conversations that the physical aspect of a relationship is pretty much necessary for him.
I love people for their personality- which I guess makes me pansexual.
But I'm not the kind of person person that needs that particular physical aspect in a relationship (I DO, however, need the cuddles and hand-holding, etc)... Nor do I particularly want it with another guy. (some of you will know from my previous posts)
In fact, I don't like being intimate with another guy.
I love the person, I just can't with the male anatomy (on another person). Just doesn't work for me.
(sorry, I just found the italicize button and it made me happy to put emphasize my emphasis, I maybe went a little crazy there...)
I like this guy. I really do. But I know that I wouldn't be able to fulfill everything he would want in a relationship so that makes me reluctant to even try to ask him out and see if he's just being nice or if he would be open to something more.
What, in the name of Pete, do I do here? I'm at a complete loss. Do I just not say anything and (assuming he IS flirting) let him think I'm oblivious/ not interested? Do I ask him out and then later be like "oh by the way..."? I just can't find a win here. Either way, it continues to be awkward for me.
But then again... most situations are awkward for me. I'm just an awkward person.
Help.
