Being around men triggering dysphoria??

[AlyssaJ]

Have any of the MtF folk here experienced this?  For as long as I can remember, my dysphoria has most often been triggered being around or seeing other women. It's usually a result of being reminded that that's how I should be perceived yet I'm not. Sometimes it's their clothing, sometimes their activity, sometimes just the way they carry themselves.

However, tonight while out to dinner with my family, there were a number of men around us who I put into this frat boy-country boy category.  T-shirts, somewhat baggy jeans, leather work boots, camouflage hats, and of course facial hair.   A number of them had dad body going as well.  As I was sitting there, presenting as male myself because I was with my wife, I began feeling serious dysphoric discomfort.  It seemed to be triggered by feeling that I was being perceived as the same as these guys at the other tables. It really got bad, so bad that at one point I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom just to calm down and breathe normally.

This is the first time I can remember being around men triggering dysphoria.  Have any of you experienced this?

[HappyMoni]

   Sometimes dysphoria gets worse when you are no longer resigned to staying in the wrong gender. When you have hope of being yourself or move in that direction your brain starts having a harder time accepting that status quo. My example  in my life now is being close to getting GCS. The physical dysphoria is worse than ever now. You might see what you are experiencing now as progress in your self image. Unfortunately, the feeling still stinks!
Moni

[SailorMars1994]

Yes, quite a bit actually. My most recent that strikes out HARD  was like 3 weeks ago at Costco.. i saw all these men, bald headed, facial hair, manly, ect.. and just felt grossed out i guess knowing that could have been me had i not made the change. I stil get those feelings time to time but that one really felt weird and awful

[AlyssaJ]

   Sometimes dysphoria gets worse when you are no longer resigned to staying in the wrong gender. When you have hope of being yourself or move in that direction your brain starts having a harder time accepting that status quo. My example  in my life now is being close to getting GCS. The physical dysphoria is worse than ever now. You might see what you are experiencing now as progress in your self image. Unfortunately, the feeling still stinks!
Moni

I think you nailed it, reading your post it really clicked.  I think that's exactly where this is coming from.  I've been spending more and more time out in public presenting as me.  This week was also my first week in my new bedroom which has allowed me all week to dress in the correct clothing (even if I had to cover up when going upstairs around my wife).  The more I finally get to let myself out and be authentic, the more I despise going out presenting as male and I think that's exactly what amplified the dysphoria. 

Nice to have a sign of progress and you're right, the feeling sucks

[Sinclair]

Have any of the MtF folk here experienced this?  For as long as I can remember, my dysphoria has most often been triggered being around or seeing other women. It's usually a result of being reminded that that's how I should be perceived yet I'm not. Sometimes it's their clothing, sometimes their activity, sometimes just the way they carry themselves.

However, tonight while out to dinner with my family, there were a number of men around us who I put into this frat boy-country boy category.  T-shirts, somewhat baggy jeans, leather work boots, camouflage hats, and of course facial hair.   A number of them had dad body going as well.  As I was sitting there, presenting as male myself because I was with my wife, I began feeling serious dysphoric discomfort.  It seemed to be triggered by feeling that I was being perceived as the same as these guys at the other tables. It really got bad, so bad that at one point I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom just to calm down and breathe normally.

This is the first time I can remember being around men triggering dysphoria.  Have any of you experienced this?

I get both. I hate being around alpha males 'cause I'm in a different place and no longer seek to try and relate to them (I never did, so it's refreshing and freeing to let that go). Alpha females (rocking face, body etc.,) can also trigger this as they have everything I want, and sometimes not sure how close to that I can ever be. I just go to Walmart and look around, and I'm good with how I look and who I am. I got good stuff, better than many cis females, and I don't want the male stuff. I smile everyday I see the changes. More importantly, my foundation has never been alpha male, it's always been female, so I know I'm going in the right direction.

[staciM]

I actually find the opposite....those type of men tends to emphasis how completely different I am than them and it gives me confidence that my transition is 100% the correct thing. 

Perhaps you can try shifting your mind set to something similar the next time and see if it helps.

[AlyssaJ]

I just go to Walmart and look around, and I'm good with how I look and who I am.

Sorry but this made me truly LOL.   

[jentay1367]

You, I, we, live in a strange schizophrenic world for the time being. It's why I'm on an accelerated program to transition completely. It simply drives me nuts with the back and forth of him and me. Having to conduct business as him, living my personal life as me. Friends I've known for years that still say things like "hey dude" to me out of force of habit from years of doing it, simply....drives.....me...nuts! So get used to it. Because otherwise, your option is social suicide and losing valuable relationships you've spent your life nurturing. And this is just the beginning of things that will trigger you. This trip isn't referred to as a" roller coaster ride" in a vacuum. So strap on your helmet, pull up your big girl panties when you don't have to wear boxers and get ready to make tons of concessions and prepare to go just a little bit mad for some time in the foreseeable future. This is the hardest thing you'll ever do.

[KathyLauren]

Yes, that is one part of my dysphoria that I identified early on: that I just didn't like hanging around men.  I think the worst part of it was the fear that people would identify me as one of them.  Eww!  Every time I put on my male disguise, I would feel it again.  The nicest part of going full-time has been never having to feel that again.  Men can still gross me out, but at least there is no fear that people will associate me with them.

[HappyMoni]

I actually find the opposite....those type of men tends to emphasis how completely different I am than them and it gives me confidence that my transition is 100% the correct thing. 

Perhaps you can try shifting your mind set to something similar the next time and see if it helps.

I agree. I used to look at guys and size them up to see where I fit in the hierarchy. Never have I felt like one of them. To look at me, I might have seemed to, being a master certified auto tech with cars torn apart and grease on my face. It never fit quite right though. Now I look at men and they are a complete other thing, foreign to an extreme.

And this is just the beginning of things that will trigger you. This trip isn't referred to as a" roller coaster ride" in a vacuum. So strap on your helmet, pull up your big girl panties when you don't have to wear boxers and get ready to make tons of concessions and prepare to go just a little bit mad for some time in the foreseeable future. This is the hardest thing you'll ever do.

And the most rewarding! Don't forget that. Jentay is right, of course. I would add that you will have times where someone says, "Hey dude." and it will send you into an emotional abyss for a while. I try not to dwell on it too long, but I also don't feel guilty for feeling bad. We are all at a stage in this process of transitioning (to whatever degree). I had to realize that I am at a certain stage, and it does me no good to beat myself up about not being further. I do watch and learn from everything that happens. Sounds like you learned from the other day, Alyssa.
Moni

[coldHeart]

I tend to get GD around both sexes with women I get very low & think one of those pretty girls should be me but around men especially alpha one I all most get totally on edge the cockyness the ego's inside it screams that's me I,m one of them, now I,m living nearly an recluse & no TV not an ideal way too live but it helps the GD