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What sorts of questions do gender therapists usually ask?

Started by Garoux, May 14, 2017, 10:36:23 PM

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Garoux

I've been worried for a while I fit somewhere under the trans umbrella, and going to see a gender therapist would be very useful. Due to my circumstances right now though, I do not believe doing this is in the cards at this current stage of my life. I probably will go within a few of years here, but I just can't right now.
I still think it would be helpful to start asking myself my own questions now though.
What sorts of questions do gender therapists usually ask questioning people and how can I help identify what I am and where I fit without going to see one? I'd like to at least start thinking about this stuff even if I can't go anywhere or do anything about it.
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Laurie

Hi,

   If they are already aware of why you are there, they might want to know why you think you are trans. If you can't tell them then you probably aren't. Most of us who fit this mold can cite many things from their past and present to substantiate their convictions including "I have always knew I was male or female" other like myself couldn't make that claim. I wanted and wished I could be a girl but didn't to my knowledge feel I was one inside. I was a boy that wanted to be a girl to the point of borrowing/stealing/ and buying female clothes to wear in secret almost my whole life.
  So they will want to know your reasons for thinking you are trans and how it affected your life. They will also want to know what, if anything, you strongly dislike about the gender you are now.
  The key to talking to any therapist is complete honesty. They cannot help you if they don't know what is going on with you.

Hope that helps a little.

  Hugs,
   Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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Dena

There are a couple of links that I give out when people are questioning. The first link is our WIKI where you can review the various subsets of ->-bleeped-<-. The second is "the transition channel" where you can review some questions with a gender therapist. Feel free to ask me any questions you have.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
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Denise

I would suggest that they want to get to know you.  The first question will be, tell me about yourself.  Tell them about you, not your beliefs about being trans. 

Mine told me to create a collage of pictures about my life before high school.  When I was done going over the meaning of​ each picture, I was in tears.  Mostly because of the time spent trying so hard to hide who I really am.

One thing I suggest is not lead with "I think I'm trans" that's their job to render a diagnosis.  That's why you're paying them.

The hardest part about therapy is being completely honest without biasing things with your own "desires" or beliefs.

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FTMDiaries

The longer you put it off, the worse things will get. Seeing a Gender Therapist does not necessarily mean that you'll transition straight away: it's perfectly reasonable for you to see a therapist to help you get your head around how you're feeling right now, so you can then make some informed decisions about what you'll do in a few years' time. You may as well go & see them straight away because they can help you with your current dilemma.

If you're still trying to figure yourself out, why not start with the DSM-V's diagnostic criteria for Gender Dysphoria? A reputable Gender Therapist will be assessing you according to these criteria, so this is a good place to start. In adults, they're looking for the following and you need to have experienced at least two of these for longer than 6 months:



  • A marked incongruence between one's experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics
  • A strong desire to be rid of one's primary and/or secondary sex characteristics
  • A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender
  • A strong desire to be of the other gender
  • A strong desire to be treated as the other gender
  • A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender

The words 'persistent and insistent' have been used for many years in diagnosing Gender Dysphoria (particularly in children). The therapist will want to know for how long you've felt this way, and exactly how you've felt during that time. Try to think of examples when you might have experienced something that fits in the list above. So they'll ask about your upbringing: what sort of games you used to play; who you'd imagine yourself as being during role-playing games; what sort of clothing you preferred; what sort of friends you had. They'll then ask you about your most recent history, culminating in the reason why you've felt compelled to go & see them.

They may even ask (inappropriate) questions about your sexuality, I'm afraid. This is partly due to assessing how you relate to your body, and partly due to heteronormativity. Be prepared to be completely honest with them: there are no right or wrong sexual orientations and trans people can be of any sexuality, or none.

You needn't necessarily worry about how you present: a decent Gender Therapist will fully appreciate that we cannot all present as the correct gender in public - especially before hormonal intervention - so if you attend appointments in male mode they should understand & accept this, but it wouldn't hurt for you to explain your reasons for doing this. They may also ask you how you feel when you're wearing clothing that is usually intended for the opposite sex.

Mine also wanted to speak to my family to get a fuller picture of what I was like growing up. My family is unaccepting so this wasn't an option for me. But as you can see from my ticker (below), this didn't stop me. ;D





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Mikka55

Today was my first meet and greet,  in 2 weeks it will be my first paid session.
They want to get to know you and how they can help.


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The Flying Lemur

My therapist is having me go chapter by chapter through a book called "You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery."  It asks a lot of the same questions people have mentioned above, and you can work on it at your own pace.  (Not sure who the author is, but it is on Amazon.com.) 

That said, if you don't have some major reason why you can't go to a gender therapist now (such as being dependent on unsupportive parents, etc.), I'd recommend at least making contact with one and asking a few questions.  What have you got to lose?
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. --Joseph Campbell
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Georgette

I can't remember any specifics from so long ago.

Was NO Gender therapists back in the 70s.
I went to a psychiatrist that was familiar with others.  I think most useful to them was a book from 1966 Harry Benjamin, The Transsexual Phenomenon.  TS was not in the DSM II yet.
This was before his 1979 the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association was formed.  This would then become WPATH and its SOC.

I went to him dressed as myself, but he also wanted me to go as my old male self.  I guess so he could judge both sides of me.
He also had me write a short biography of what and when all my things that I went through.
I think this might be good for some to do, as it helps one to think on all that came before.
AMAB - NOV 13 1950
HRT - Start 1975 / End 1985
Moved in with SO ( Also a MtF ) - 1976 / She didn't believe in same sex marriage
Name Change - NOV 30 1976
FT - Formal letter from work - APR 12 1977
SRS - SEP 13 1977
SO died - OCT 03 2014  38 years not a bad run

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