Pre-everything coming out

[Zquence]

I have no earthly idea how to do it I feel like just vanishing not to be seen again.
I have only told one person srsly about it and thankfully he says he accepts me, but I have noticed changes to the way he types. He is my I guess you could call it online boyfriend and he just found out, he is still talking to me that is good but idk if he'll stay.

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[Cindy]

Ok, well the first thing to realise is that there is no reason to panic or worry.

Coming out is a very personal thing and very private if you wish it to be.

It is your time, no one else's.

So. How about you tell me all about it?

Oh. I'm Cindy, the Forum Admin. I try and run the place but I also like people and really like talking over problems so how about we start from there!

[Zquence]

Well Cindy I like to go by Z, and I don't want to be who I perceived to be anymore, it is exhausting and there is everything holding me back so forward is not much easier but it is were I want to be.

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[Zquence]

I am 23 years old and been a recluse for most of my adult single life because I dont want to face the public or anybody, because I'm not who they see and where I live it will probably reflect poorly on my adopted father.

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[Cindy]

Lovely to meet you Z,

Well, I see you are a little younger than I but can I suggest that what seems to hold you back at the moment may not be all that important in say 10 years?

Maybe thinking of the future and how you want to be is a thought?

[Cindy]

I am 23 years old and been a recluse for most of my adult single life because I dont want to face the public or anybody, because I'm not who they see and where I live it will probably reflect poorly on my adopted father.

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OK we passed posts in the dark!

Why a recluse?

I was originally from the docklands in Liverpool in the UK so I do know a little about harsh environments.

[Zquence]

Yes with time priorities and problems change. But the right now is the scary part I am even to afraid to look for a counselor

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[Zquence]

Well i just stay inside when im not at work I just don't feel comfortable around people while they see a male and not being able to but wanting to tell them other wise

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[Cindy]

Well i just stay inside when im not at work I just don't feel comfortable around people while they see a male and not being able to but wanting to tell them other wise

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Oh OK, I understand that. It is called body dysphoria and is very common among TG people.  We hate seeing ourselves as we are not and hate other people seeing us as we are not inside.

[Cindy]

Great that you are working!

Why sort of job?

[Zquence]

That I understand I found about that on here somewhere, but I don't know how to deal with it.

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[Zquence]

Great that you are working!

Why sort of job?

I work as a gas station clerk for now but I am going to have to switch back to waiting tables since I apparently really need the money, even though it stresses me out and makes me feel even more manly.

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[Cindy]

I now this will sound silly, and you will hear it often.

Stop stressing.

You will get through this with no problems. Be calm.

Mmm how does waiting table make you feel manly?

I'd better remind you that I am in Australia and some things and words are different. If something I say sounds nuts it is because I'm Oz. 

[Zquence]

Ah it's fine so that is why you are awake at this hr. But because how I wait on tables is masculine it has always been a good way to make tips, being one of the bros, I use to look up what was going on in sports to talk to tables to make more money. And I will have to probably cut off my hair again

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[Zquence]

I now this will sound silly, and you will hear it often.

Stop stressing.

You will get through this with no problems. Be calm.

Mmm how does waiting table make you feel manly?

I'd better remind you that I am in Australia and some things and words are different. If something I say sounds nuts it is because I'm Oz.  [emoji23]

Also thank you for being here to talk

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[Cindy]

Here it would be regarded as a mainly a dual gender to wait on tables.

I worked in bars in the uk for ages.

How to deal with dysphoria? Lots of little ways. I take it that you are in  high male orientated environment?

[Zquence]

Here it would be regarded as a mainly a dual gender to wait on tables.

I worked in bars in the uk for ages.

How to deal with dysphoria? Lots of little ways. I take it that you are in  high male orientated environment?

I live in New Mexico USA, it not a manly job per say , it is just the approach I take to it I have tried others but it typically doesn't make as much money or bring in the same type if any regulars

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[Cindy]

What gender do you identify as, if you do so. I'm very comfortable with asexual, gender, or other.

I'm also not bothered by no answer.

Now tell me where New Mexico is.

Oh, I'm in Adelaide - find that on the map.

That tells you people care from everywhere

[Zquence]

What gender do you identify as, if you do so. I'm very comfortable with asexual, gender, or other.

I'm also not bothered by no answer.

Now tell me where New Mexico is.

Oh, I'm in Adelaide - find that on the map.

That tells you people care from everywhere

I identify as female, and I live in Ruidoso  New Mexico, United States of America.

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[Zquence]

I wouldn't even know where to start looking

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