This is kind of a weird topic to try to explain......And I know my say here isn't going to make much sense, but I'mma try anyway.
I personally agree that wanting to remove a healthy limb that is useful kind of ridiculous but
I don't necessarily agree that it's much different from being trans...
But I also think that wanting to remove a healthy limb sounds like more of a mental condition...But that also makes me feel like I am saying trans is a mental condition, which in a sense it is.....
Our mind and self don't match our bodies, much like someone who wants a limb removed feels the same way.
Much like some people don't agree with our choices and our mis-matched minds and bodies, it's understandable that some of us would not agree with their choices and mis-matched bodies.
I am very sorry that you went through so much, and I can understand your frustration, however it's unfortunately something that exists, and if that's how they feel they can't help that, much like us.