GCS with McGinn (After so many years waiting)

[Jessica Lynne]

You've got a buttload of stuff on your plate, Moni. I don't think anyone here begrudges you your personal space. After all, a woman's gotta relax 

[amberwaves]

Moni,

Glad to hear things are well at 3 months.  I've been fascinated hearing about the process and recovery.  I just booked a consult with McGinn for August.  Looks like eventually I'll have to have my own thread.

Amber

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[Laurie]

  What the heck you Moaning for Moana? You're good with me. Get over it and get on with living girl.

Loves ya,
   Laurie

[SadieBlake]

You're good hon, you have to be OK in your own self and mind first to be able to be there for others.

Hugs, you know we've noticed your absence, it's all good.

[Anne Blake]

Hey Moni girl, you are pursuing the dream of your lifetime. Get on with it, heal, integrate the fullness of what and who you have found yourself to be. Get in there and feed and nurture that Moni into Super Moni and share the stories along the journey, you know it ain't over yet. We are good and will be even better as you continue to grow. Someone around this site tells me that it takes time and to let myself take that time......sound familiar?

Love you girl,
Anne

[HappyMoni]

Hey Moni girl, you are pursuing the dream of your lifetime. Get on with it, heal, integrate the fullness of what and who you have found yourself to be. Get in there and feed and nurture that Moni into Super Moni and share the stories along the journey, you know it ain't over yet. We are good and will be even better as you continue to grow. Someone around this site tells me that it takes time and to let myself take that time......sound familiar?

Love you girl,
Anne

We went out to dinner with a friend and SO from Susan's today. We had a great time. Won't share too much detail, but I did notice a milestone on my way to Super Moni (Anne's words.)  Not once did I think about anyone looking at me, worrying about someone clocking me. I felt totally at ease in public for one of the first times ever. I didn't think about it til I left. I am reaching a point that was unthinkable 6 months ago. I hold it out there as part of a different stage in the transition. I don't think I can say I am in the beginning any longer. Maybe a middle stage, probably not a final one. I think it may have helped that the quality of the dinner partners was so wonderful. Keep the faith ladies!
Moni

[Laurie]

Moni,

  I love reading about your continued progress and growth into your role as the lady you have always been inside.

Love ya girl,
  Laurie

[HappyMoni]

Thanks Laurie.

Thanks to Joanne B too. In a different thread, she got me thinking about how I have viewed my status over the years. It's crazy, but in self reflecting from the conversation, I finally realized that I am a transsexual. There is no longer any doubt that my old periodic doubting will not be back. All my life I had doubted that I wasn't really trans enough to transition. I now have the identity that had always eluded me.

I enjoyed one of the benefits of my surgery today. I am wearing a pair of sexy lace panties that I always dreamed of wearing but couldn't wear.  After 60 years all I can say is awesome sauce!

My healing is changing slowly. My scar tissue areas are a bit bigger. My white areas are greatly reduced. Not much sign of granulation, thankfully. It seems like my clit looks more visible rather than less. Oh, it is starting to be less hypersensitive to the  touch. Don't know that it is ready for prime time yet. (What is this, 3 month, 1 week post op at this point?)

Perhaps this isn't earth shattering stuff for a post on this topic. To be honest, this is something I wanted to think about today. With the shooting, the attack on the rights women and trans people, friends on Susan's and other places really struggling, I think I wanted to go to my happy place. Am hoping next week is better for everyone.

Love to all,
Moni

[Laurie]

I'm hoping you spend a lot of your time in your happy place Monica. You have worked hard enough and been through a lot to find it so now enjoy it.

[SadieBlake]

Wearing underthings that make you feel good is totes earthshaking, I'm totes glad for ya and to hear this from ya! Maybe I'll do the Moni challenge, but can I find a skirt short enough to flash my own lacy underthings?

Glad about your healing, my healing progresses, clit here is really good for stimulation and yes at 3 months I could goto that area obliquely and I could tease out some happy feelings, however they were vying for attention with pain from the same areas. I'll post a full update ASAP in my thread.

I'm really glad it goes well for you Moni, like you and I think maybe most of us I certainly questioned whether I was trans enough. I realized I was transexual around 2001 and also that vanity alone was then reason enough not to transition. There were other reasons but like Ohio in the 2004 election, vanity was my swing state, my private Ohio.

[HappyMoni]

Wearing underthings that make you feel good is totes earthshaking, I'm totes glad for ya and to hear this from ya! Maybe I'll do the Moni challenge, but can I find a skirt short enough to flash my own lacy underthings?

Glad about your healing, my healing progresses, clit here is really good for stimulation and yes at 3 months I could goto that area obliquely and I could tease out some happy feelings, however they were vying for attention with pain from the same areas. I'll post a full update ASAP in my thread.

I'm really glad it goes well for you Moni, like you and I think maybe most of us I certainly questioned whether I was trans enough. I realized I was transexual around 2001 and also that vanity alone was then reason enough not to transition. There were other reasons but like Ohio in the 2004 election, vanity was my swing state, my private Ohio.

Hi Sadie,
   The Mawnie Challenge wasn't my doing, so you will have to ask Stephiepoo about the rules. Me, I'm up for a fashion show.
    In hind sight, I should have known I was a transsexual a long time ago. After a lifetime of cycling from masculine to feminine, never finding stability, I needed some track record before my proclamation. It's kind of like if someone asked if I had post op depression. Not so far, but when do I call it as a no, at what point?
    Glad you good Sadie.
Moni

[Rachel]

I am glad you are doing very well and starting to enjoy being you. I think you were trans enough

[HappyMoni]

Hi,
   I am 4 months post op a few days ago. I thought if someone stumbles upon this thread at some point, it might be nice to see how it played out for a while. I seem to have noticed more scar tissue forming in the last few weeks. I don't  have a lot of granulation that I see. It has become harder to dilate with orange #4. I still can do it, but for the first time, I see some blood on the biggest dilator. I believe it is coming from a red area in an area above the vaginal opening in a seam, fold, or crack (not sure the best word for it.) The crotch area does still have a certain amount of numbness and soreness especially around the lower part of the abdominal scars. I am functioning the same in my daily activities as before surgery now. Energy level is up some. I wish I knew more about the scar tissue formation. Is it good or is it to be treated to prevent it from  being too inflexible? I haven't seemed to be able to find that answer. I use cortisone on it, per doctor's orders. It hasn't seemed to do anything visibly.   
   On a personal note, I have absolutely no regrets. It is more becoming just part of me, but sometimes I still get a big grin on my face knowing it is there.
Moni

[Laurie]

Hi Moeny,

   Finally something I can talk about at least in general terms. I have a few larger scars (though in different locations) an can say that in time the funny sensations and numbness does go away. Mine are in the belly and are not stiff or hard but quite flexible. Since I was not concerned with their visibility I did nothing about it so they are quite visible. Perhaps if I ever pass as a woman I can pass them off as  cesarean scars. lol yeah right, I'll stick with the truth. They are  badges in my fight against cancer.

[RachelH]

On a personal note, I have absolutely no regrets. It is more becoming just part of me, but sometimes I still get a big grin on my face knowing it is there.
Moni

I am so very happy for you!! Keep smiling!!

[Dena]

At 4 months it's time to get an internal examination. The red sounds like granulation and if you are having trouble with the dilator, it's possible you have some internally as well. This can easily be treated in the doctors office and if it's not treated, it can go on for a very long time without healing properly.

[steph2.0]

On a personal note, I have absolutely no regrets. It is more becoming just part of me, but sometimes I still get a big grin on my face knowing it is there.

That is sooo cool. Just reading that has me grinning with you. I hope to be there too in a year!

Steph

[Rachel]

I see Dr. McCginn for my 1 year check up in 22 days. Orange is tight and hurts when I dilate. At one time I would have tears in my eyes so I guess it got better. I am going to request estrogen cream.

I am glad you are doing well.

[HappyMoni]

Thanks all. I just read a message from one of my doctors saying I had a proteus infection down yonder. Not sure how that fits in with things.
Rachel, let me know how that request goes. I asked about it and they told me to try to relax about my recovery. Guess they didn't think it necessary.
Love to all,
Moni
Dena, any thoughts on scar tissue? Leave it be?

[Dena]

The scar tissue a doctor should look at. Possibly a steroid cream or estradiol cream depending what the doctor judges is the correct course of treatment.