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EEEEEEK Next Steps

Started by Rowena_Ellenweorc, May 28, 2017, 03:35:37 AM

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Rowena_Ellenweorc

Okay, posting this here, since I have no idea where I am on the gender spectrum as of yet besides not feeling female very much if at all and identifying as non-binary until I figure it out... But after a breakdown from my husband asking my daughter if I am a girl (see my Murder Dysphoria thread that I'm too lazy to link) we had a long chat.  He still has no clue how to respond to all this, which I'm trying to understand, but is really difficult because he is the only person in my real life that I came out to, and really could use his support.  We realized that our marriage may not last through this, but we're gonna try and make it work still as best as we can.

But that's not what I want to talk about.  My next step (besides finding a therapist hahaha.)... I did it!  I asked him to try using different pronouns for me.  I really wanted to try asking him to use 'he/his' pronouns, but it just felt odd asking that right now when we're still exploring this. But he agreed (despite reservations because of our kids) to try it, at the very least at home.  I wasn't able to manage to convince him to try they/their/theirs because his whole speech pathologist in him thinks its too hard to differentiate when people already have language abilities.  But he did agree to Ze/zir...

Trying to break the mold... here we come!
~Ren

Born May 1989 - Assigned Female
October 2016 - Came out to self/online
Feb/March 2017 - Officially came out to husband
April 2017 - Realized I'm Non-Binary
June 2017 - Started Therapy
August 2017 - Came out to parents
October 2017 - modified FB profile
November 26, 2017 - Came out https://www.facebook.com/notes/karen-ren-losee/please-read/10155966104353223/ on FB

"Walking beside the guilty and the innocent
How will you raise your hand when they call your name?"
- Bon Jovi "We weren't Born to follow"

I am done crying over not being feminine.
I am done griping about being too masculine.
I will be me.
And that's a non-binary being.
I am... ME!

....

This... is MY story
The story of a girl trapped in a guy's body.
A boy trapped in a girl's body.
No.  Its the story of a... human being.
- From one of my poems
  •  

JB_Girl

Quote from: Rowena_Ellenweorc on May 28, 2017, 03:35:37 AM
Okay, posting this here, since I have no idea where I am on the gender spectrum as of yet besides not feeling female very much if at all and identifying as non-binary until I figure it out... But after a breakdown from my husband asking my daughter if I am a girl (see my Murder Dysphoria thread that I'm too lazy to link) we had a long chat.  He still has no clue how to respond to all this, which I'm trying to understand, but is really difficult because he is the only person in my real life that I came out to, and really could use his support.  We realized that our marriage may not last through this, but we're gonna try and make it work still as best as we can.

But that's not what I want to talk about.  My next step (besides finding a therapist hahaha.)... I did it!  I asked him to try using different pronouns for me.  I really wanted to try asking him to use 'he/his' pronouns, but it just felt odd asking that right now when we're still exploring this. But he agreed (despite reservations because of our kids) to try it, at the very least at home.  I wasn't able to manage to convince him to try they/their/theirs because his whole speech pathologist in him thinks its too hard to differentiate when people already have language abilities.  But he did agree to Ze/zir...

Trying to break the mold... here we come!
Lol, good luck.  You have deeper knowledge of yourself than you let on I think and a lovely sense of humor.  Keep posting please, your journey is a light and I pray that it always shines brightly.

Peace,
JB

Sent from my SM-J700T using Tapatalk

I began this journey when I began to think, but it took what it took for me to truly understand the what and the why of authenticity.  I'm grateful to have found a path that works and to live as I have always dreamed.

The dates are unimportant and are quite stale now.  The journey to truth is fresh and never ends.
  •  

Rowena_Ellenweorc

Awwww thank you JB!!!!!!!!! that's really sweet of you to say!
~Ren

Born May 1989 - Assigned Female
October 2016 - Came out to self/online
Feb/March 2017 - Officially came out to husband
April 2017 - Realized I'm Non-Binary
June 2017 - Started Therapy
August 2017 - Came out to parents
October 2017 - modified FB profile
November 26, 2017 - Came out https://www.facebook.com/notes/karen-ren-losee/please-read/10155966104353223/ on FB

"Walking beside the guilty and the innocent
How will you raise your hand when they call your name?"
- Bon Jovi "We weren't Born to follow"

I am done crying over not being feminine.
I am done griping about being too masculine.
I will be me.
And that's a non-binary being.
I am... ME!

....

This... is MY story
The story of a girl trapped in a guy's body.
A boy trapped in a girl's body.
No.  Its the story of a... human being.
- From one of my poems
  •  

JB_Girl

You're welcome.  Moving towards living an authentic life is a pilgrimage without a clear ending and every step is a step closer to who you are even if you are unsure about where that might be.  I do hope that your relationship survives, that you have a sense of humor and a desire for openness bodes well, but may ships have crashed on smaller reefs than this one.  Keep walking your path with gentleness and grace and whatever happens you will have the strength to transcend it.

Peace,
JB
I began this journey when I began to think, but it took what it took for me to truly understand the what and the why of authenticity.  I'm grateful to have found a path that works and to live as I have always dreamed.

The dates are unimportant and are quite stale now.  The journey to truth is fresh and never ends.
  •