NAMES! How'd you choose / what are you going through trying to choose?

[baseballfan]

My parents told me a long time ago that my name would have been Jessica had I been born a girl so I have always went with that for my female persona.  The thought never occured to me to pick a middle name until just now reading this thread.

[eyesk8rboi]

So to pick my name, I did a couple things.

1. I talked to my mom about what my parents had planned for a name for me if I had been born with a female body. She told me that they had two names, Christine and Erin.  I don't feel like a Christine, but she also told me that she had unofficially assigned the name Erin to the female of a set of twins that she mis-carried. So I felt that wasn't good.

2.  I made a list of names that I liked and researched each of them.  I looked at how common they were when I was born to ensure I was choosing a name that was age appropriate.  I also looked at the etymology of each name because I wanted one that had some meaning for me.

3. I ended up putting Alyssa on the list because of a somewhat silly but profound experience.  I was in NYC on business which always results in pretty heavy dysphoria (having to be my male facade for a full week both in dress and in personality).  In the cab on the way to Laguardia to head home I was really feeling beat down by the week of dysphoria and I cried repeatedly.  We got stuck in traffic somewhere in Queens and I remember looking up and seeing some really impressive and artistic graffiti on a fence lining the road.  It really caught my eye and in the middle of it was the name Alyssa in huge decorated letters.  At that exact moment, I felt a total calm come over me and I pretty much knew this would be my name.  But still I didn't commit.

4. I got my list narrowed down to three names plus the feminized version of my male name.  I went on a 4-day weekend trip with my sisters in Minneapolis, the plan being to spend the entire time (even traveling by plane) totally in my authentic female presentation.  While there I planned to try out each name for a day.  Well my sisters started with Alyssa for the first day.  When we got back to the hotel that night, I looked at them both and told them there was no need to try any other names.  I said "My name is Alyssa".  Some hugs and tears followed, but it was just the name that felt right.  After being called Alyssa repeatedly I just knew it was me.  It just fit.

So that's where I'm at right now.  I have not done my name change yet.  My plan is that when I go full time (which will be toward the end of this year) I will do my name change as part of that.  Once I no longer need my male name it can go away.  Name change process in Wisconsin is pretty simple.  I need to file a petition with the court, then for 1 day, 3 weeks in a row, I have to run an add in the newspaper announcing my intention to change my name.  When complete, the newspaper gives me an affidavit stating I've done this and I go back for a court hearing.  Unless there are any legitimate objections or other issues, the judge will order my name changed and issue a court order.  From there I can go change (in this order) my drivers license and vehicle titles, social security, passport, bank records, home title, everything else.  I have the option, which I plan to try, to ask for a confidential name change which doesn't require the newspaper ads. I just have to justify that publishing it would cause a threat to my safety.  I think publicly announcing that I'm transgender to the entire city and providing my name and address would put me in danger, so hopefully I get an open-minded judge who agrees.

Gender change is a little tougher.  I need a doctor's letter stating that I am undergoing the necessary medical treatment to change my gender.  This will allow me to change my driver's license and SSN info which then allows me to change almost everything else.  I can't in Wisconsin, however, change my birth certificate gender until I have GCS and a doctor signs off confirming it.  I've heard that I need my birth certificate changed before I can change my passport, but I haven't confirmed that yet.

This is actually a really logical and well-thought out way to go about it. Very precise and thorough. I think I might have to try these myself!

I'm sorry about your mother's loss.
I actually considered the name Jason, because my grandmother's first child (who was still born) was named Jason....Kind of like a tribute to him and my Nana, but my friend pointed out that it might be kind of tough for my grandmother....which me being trans is tough enough on her...if I ever had the guts to tell her.

I think your process is really amazing and I'm glad you found your name!

[eyesk8rboi]

My wife did. I'm a big person so she picked a German name.


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That's one you don't hear every day. That's really awesome how your wife helped though!

My mom actually suggested my name. My male name was Julian so she suggested Julia. It worked out very well because it was easy for people to switch to Julia than like a whole different name. My parents got a lawyer for the legal name change. I had to go before the judge but it was really easy. To change my gender on my ID I just took a letter from my Dr. Here in Colorado they let you do it with a Dr's letter even if you haven't has surgery. The form for the doctor only has to say you live full time and that you are taking hrt. Thankfully it was pretty easy.
Julia.

BTW Mac, your avatar looks great. Very handsome.

Just form your picture I think Julia really suits you! And that's near that it works off your given name.
The process here is similar, but I'm laying low on ID's and name changes right now because my car is registered back in my home states and if I switch my ID I have to switch my tag and insurance, and insurance here is ridiculous due to the amount of people and the traffic, so I can't really afford it right now, but I'm planning on getting it taken care of ASAP once I have the funds.

Also, thank you so much! I've actually really wanted to tell you how absolutely gorgeous you are, as well, but I didn't want seem creepy or weird....So a compliment for a compliment. 

My birth name was Madison Ashley.

When I was 12, I made a list of all the male/unisex names I liked from a baby name website and asked all of my friends to vote one which one they thought suited me best. The ones with the most votes made it to the next round, in which I did the same thing again. I eventually narrowed it down to 3: Dakota, Danny, and Dylan. Dylan got the most votes, so I thought I'd be going by Dylan.

When I was finally allowed to socially transition at 14, I had already decided on another that would be more similar to my birth name: Max. I had yet to choose what Max would be a nickname for, and I almost just went with Max as the full name, but then when I was about 16 I decided to talk to my dad about what the Russian name for Max would be, and he told me it was Maxim, or Maksim as it's written. That was it! I wanted to be Maksim.

My middle name was almost something like Ashton, but I wasn't feeling it. My dad told me he always wanted a son named Nick, so I decided to go with Nikolai.

So now I'm Maksim Nikolai!

I like it! *o*
It sounds very Russia, but at the same time not super out of the norm.
I've always loved the name Ashton, but if it's not right, it's not right. It's super cool that your dad was able to assist on picking a middle name. I think it's really sweet when parents are supportive of their trans kids....Especially considering all of the awful stories from other people about their experience with their parents. 

[eyesk8rboi]

I went through a baby name website and looked for a name that was close to both my first and middle name.  I came up with Josilyn as the first few letters are the same as my dead name.  Also, I liked the spelling of my name as it is really unique and I liked that.  I ultimately came up with Josilyn Deanna.  The middle name is just an extension of my old middle name.

I was able to get a petition for my name and gender change from my therapist, she went to law school before becoming a therapist, so that really helped.  I was pretty nervous when I went to court, but the judge asked me 1 question.  It was to explain why I wanted to change my name in my own words.  She then granted both the name and gender change.

In order to get my drivers license, I needed to have a birth certificate in my new name.  I immediately applied for that.  After a few weeks I had that in hand.  I was then able to get my license and start changing over all my accounts to my new name.

That's super lucky with your therapist! I'm sure that helped a little. The legal process really doesn't seem too hard, but I'm a procrastinating, whiny, lazy person who hates adulting so it seems really tedious at the same time...But I'm really exciting for doing it all one day!

I'll say this, and it's definitely a personal preference and each of us has to make our own decision, but while it's common for some to want to find an alternate version of their given name, I intentionally set out to find something different.  I bring this up just as food for thought.  My male name is one of those that has a male and female form and both are pronounced the same (literally, just change a y to an i).  Yes it would have been easier for everyone I know had I just gone with the i and kept the name.  However that's exactly why I didn't go that route.  I figured it made it too easy for people to continue to think of me as my male persona and not accept the transition.  They could essentially "dead name" me without me realizing it (unless it was in print).   By going with Alyssa, I know that they're having to process in their heads that I'm not the male person they knew me to be, and instead I am a woman.  And if they use the wrong name I can address the issue right away.

Again, there are plenty good reasons to go with a alternate version and you have to decide what is right for you.  I just wanted to give you something to think about that you may not have otherwise considered.

I see both sides of this one!
But as you stated, you have to decided what is right for you.

I really just enjoy how everyone's journey is different and everyone's process is done in different steps and paths. And I actually really love all of the feedback from everyone.

Thanks for elaborating and sharing your opinion Alyssa!

I like my user name here.  My mom HATED it, and said she is using a Veto on it.  Funny thing, when I went to Colorado, I asked my friend to introduce me a "Claire" which I had previously chose as my middle name.  It felt more natural.  I think I have decided to go with Claire Lydenne.  Lydenne is my mothers middle name.

I find it easy to switch names, it is like wearing a different outfit.  I have been Thorfinn, Clarrisa, Keighvelthalan, Larrisa, Artesia, and countless more.  Being in the SCA, LARPing, and Playing paper and video RPGs will do that.  Of course, wearing all those names I now know was my release from the me that I hated being.

Ooooo....I really like Larrisa!!!!
And Claire is really pretty too....Very feminine!

Switching names is actually harder for me than you'd assume. I used to role play A LOT and cosplay A LOT and was actually really good at being in character, but when it comes to trying out certain names in real life...my friend will be calling me across store like "MAC" and I'm just like...off in space and then I'm like..."Oh yeah, dat me." In my defense, she has another friend name Mac, so one time I though she just saw the other Mac and continuing looking at over-priced t-shirts.

[eyesk8rboi]

My parents told me a long time ago that my name would have been Jessica had I been born a girl so I have always went with that for my female persona.  The thought never occured to me to pick a middle name until just now reading this thread.

I don't consider middle names absolutely necessary....But lots of people do have them. Some people don't have a middle and some people have two middle....it's all up to you. Follow your dreams!

[baseballfan]

I don't consider middle names absolutely necessary....But lots of people do have them. Some people don't have a middle and some people have two middle....it's all up to you. Follow your dreams!

Haha thanks!  I like the idea of picking a middle name since i didnt really choose my first....it chose me!

Good luck with whatever you do end up doing!

[RobynTx]

I've considered keeping my initials as well.....But for some reason none of the first name-middle name combos roll off the tongue very well. I think when you base it off your initials it can be a little more difficult....Just don't force anything, because you definitely want to pick something that feels right.

I used to some art and I always used my initials. That and for work. Just haven't found a good name that starts with an S that goes well with Robyn.

[Nancys Girl]

This is going to sound like I have a few screws loose, but soon after I began my transition a voice in my head said "you're Shannon!"  I swear I am not making this up.  So I took that name and the feminine equivalent of my former middle name, Michelle.  Shannon Michelle.  It sounded sweet to me.  Then I found out that Shannon Michelle is the name of a porn star.  But I liked it, and I kept it.

[eyesk8rboi]

This is going to sound like I have a few screws loose, but soon after I began my transition a voice in my head said "you're Shannon!"  I swear I am not making this up.  So I took that name and the feminine equivalent of my former middle name, Michelle.  Shannon Michelle.  It sounded sweet to me.  Then I found out that Shannon Michelle is the name of a porn star.  But I liked it, and I kept it.

I don't think so at all!! It's awesome that you just knew you're name and didn't have to search around or try out different names first.

Also...that's really hilarious!!! 
My co-worker's, ( a cis female ) found out that there's a Porn Star with her exact name as well and she was so worried it was going to interfere with her getting a job if someone searched her before interviewing. xD;

[Dan]

It's only in the last few days that I've started to think about changing my name to something completely different. I agree with Allyssa's arguments that making a radical change makes it a lot easier for others to be aware of the change. I was initially going to simply use the masculine version of my female name, but that will really confuse people for some time, plus I would rather that people would not remember the female me as I go forward.

I've not yet decided if I will change only my first name or my family name as well. I will definitely drop the very female middle name.

What name to choose, that is the big question. I am Scandinavian background and will probably choose a typical Scandinavian name. Plus, it will have to have some meaning to me. Thinking....

[CarlyMcx]

I went from Charles Edward to Carly Emelinda.  Going from Charles to Carly was pretty easy.  I've never personally known a girl or woman named Carly so no problems there.  Carly Simon had the name before I did (she is 17 years older than I am).  It was not a popular name the year I was born but it started to spike with Carly Simon's musical career in 1968, six years after I was born.

Edward does not feminize well.  Emelinda is a popular name in the Philippines where my wife is from and I love the sound of it.  It also contracts to Mindy, a name I used for an online profile on an old online BBS back in the days before the internet, when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

[jaclyn33701]

I choose Jaclyn Marie the Lyn part is my daughter middle name and the Marie is my mother middle name. I didn't want my name any where close to my birth name

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[Rachel_Christina]

Rachel was my great Grannys name on my mom's side,and would have been mine had I been born a girl.
I turned my first name Christopher to Christina, as it was the name my dad gave me.
So far he is not atall accepting and he has not talked to me in atleast 4 months since he found out, even if he never comes round, I still want the name he give me, or the female varient of it

[Kylo]

I passed on one choice because someone I know well is seeing an individual with the same name. Which is awkward.

Decided to go with the name I would have been called by my parents as the alternate gender name/backup choice. I got more fond of it as time went on. I don't know anyone else with the name, so that's good.

[MeTony]

I have not legally changed my names yet. But I chose a name that noone in my surroundings have. That is Oliver. I also chose a second name that is Tony. My son's name is Anton. Tony is short for Anthony/Antonio/Anton.

Instead of creating a name and connect with my dad, who I hate, I connected to my son instead.

The names have not been top 10 in my country when I was born. That is also good.

[eyesk8rboi]

It's only in the last few days that I've started to think about changing my name to something completely different. I agree with Allyssa's arguments that making a radical change makes it a lot easier for others to be aware of the change. I was initially going to simply use the masculine version of my female name, but that will really confuse people for some time, plus I would rather that people would not remember the female me as I go forward.

I've not yet decided if I will change only my first name or my family name as well. I will definitely drop the very female middle name.

What name to choose, that is the big question. I am Scandinavian background and will probably choose a typical Scandinavian name. Plus, it will have to have some meaning to me. Thinking....

I totally get that....A lot of the choices I've picked are a lot different, but not for the fact that they're different, just that I liked them.
That being said, I don't really want people to forget the female me, so much as support me as I become the male me....
I was trying to make a video to post online and I ended up babbling, which is always the case. I got really choked up, because I started getting on to the topic of how I didn't want to leave Melanie Courtney Curvin buried in a ditch somewhere...Sure my future is going to be totally different, but if it wasn't for everything I've gone through and everything I've done, as that female, I wouldn't be where I am today and I definitely wouldn't be the person I am.
Then again, I'm a really cheesy, sentimental person.

I went from Charles Edward to Carly Emelinda.  Going from Charles to Carly was pretty easy.  I've never personally known a girl or woman named Carly so no problems there.  Carly Simon had the name before I did (she is 17 years older than I am).  It was not a popular name the year I was born but it started to spike with Carly Simon's musical career in 1968, six years after I was born.

Edward does not feminize well.  Emelinda is a popular name in the Philippines where my wife is from and I love the sound of it.  It also contracts to Mindy, a name I used for an online profile on an old online BBS back in the days before the internet, when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

I like Mindy...I've definitely never heard Emelinda before. o:
A male alternative for Edward definitely could have been Eddy (pronounced e-d) though, but I think sometimes it's a good choice to think out of the box!

Rachel was my great Grannys name on my mom's side,and would have been mine had I been born a girl.
I turned my first name Christopher to Christina, as it was the name my dad gave me.
So far he is not atall accepting and he has not talked to me in atleast 4 months since he found out, even if he never comes round, I still want the name he give me, or the female varient of it

Awww that's super sweet! I like that! As for your dad, hopefully he'll come around, and I think that your attitude about it is just fine and dandy!

I considered Jason, because my grandmother's first child was named Jason, but he was still born, and while I thought it might be kind of a sweet tribute type thing, I thought it might not be the best idea due to feels and such, and my mom confirmed this for me when I came out to her.

The middle name I often go to is Lee, because that was originally supposed to be Lee.

I passed on one choice because someone I know well is seeing an individual with the same name. Which is awkward.

Decided to go with the name I would have been called by my parents as the alternate gender name/backup choice. I got more fond of it as time went on. I don't know anyone else with the name, so that's good.

I know! I'm trying not to pick names of people I know, or people other people I know,
know....It's REALLY hard...And if you include my biological father's side of the family it's HUGE and there's lots of men and boys so a lot of the names are taken....Awfully enough, most of them are James, but that's fine, because I don't want to be named after my trash-ass excuse for a sperm donor. 

I have not legally changed my names yet. But I chose a name that noone in my surroundings have. That is Oliver. I also chose a second name that is Tony. My son's name is Anton. Tony is short for Anthony/Antonio/Anton.

Instead of creating a name and connect with my dad, who I hate, I connected to my son instead.

The names have not been top 10 in my country when I was born. That is also good.

That's a really sweet story though! It's nice that your and your son can share~

[eyesk8rboi]

IN OTHER NEWS...HELP.

My mother is trying to name me and it's hilarious!
Never in my life did I think I would be happy to be born biologically female, but she never even CHOSE boy names..........
Now she's trying to name me crazy things like

Kevin Jr (My dad's name is Kevin)
Wade (Per her deadpool obsession)
Leggolas
Wendall (A male version of her name)
Manchester Worthington Curvin III (because it "makes me sound like I come from money"... WHAT?? NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS THIS NAME...HOW CAN I BE THE 3RD?)

I'd much rather have her be accepting and annoying than un-accepting and rude....But.....WHY?? 


This is also the same woman who responded to, "What would you say if I told you I want to be man?" with "I'd say you're a waffle." (Which is currently my gender to my mother, I am a waffle...and I'm not even mad...she's a goofball.)


SO here goes on to the next segment:

Did you choose any ridiculous names before you decided on the one you're currently going by or anticipating going by?
Did you get any cooky suggestions from friends and family members of just god awful names you'd rather stay your birth gender than to adapt???

[KellyBear]

Hi guys,

My name came to me as a youngling I always used to play dress up with my older sister and called myself Kelly.

And so it stuck going from Mychael to Kelly might have no similarities but to me it was meaningful.

When my mom was pregnant the Dr said I was female and she wanted to call me shante' and when I was born Bam! I was male.

So Kelly always stuck even growing up I felt like I had a connection and I am grateful to my sister for allowing me to be me and never trying to make me feel less than I am . she was my rock throughout my life.

And it was always a blast being me in front of her she is truly salt of the earth .

[KellyBear]

IN OTHER NEWS...HELP.

My mother is trying to name me and it's hilarious!
Never in my life did I think I would be happy to be born biologically female, but she never even CHOSE boy names..........
Now she's trying to name me crazy things like

Kevin Jr (My dad's name is Kevin)
Wade (Per her deadpool obsession)
Leggolas
Wendall (A male version of her name)
Manchester Worthington Curvin III (because it "makes me sound like I come from money"... WHAT?? NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS THIS NAME...HOW CAN I BE THE 3RD?)

I'd much rather have her be accepting and annoying than un-accepting and rude....But.....WHY?? 


This is also the same woman who responded to, "What would you say if I told you I want to be man?" with "I'd say you're a waffle." (Which is currently my gender to my mother, I am a waffle...and I'm not even mad...she's a goofball.)


SO here goes on to the next segment:

Did you choose any ridiculous names before you decided on the one you're currently going by or anticipating going by?
Did you get any cooky suggestions from friends and family members of just god awful names you'd rather stay your birth gender than to adapt???

Interesting name I personally like Leggolas.

Sort about the late post didn't know you were renewing it . 🙈

[eyesk8rboi]

Hi guys,

My name came to me as a youngling I always used to play dress up with my older sister and called myself Kelly.

And so it stuck going from Mychael to Kelly might have no similarities but to me it was meaningful.

When my mom was pregnant the Dr said I was female and she wanted to call me shante' and when I was born Bam! I was male.

So Kelly always stuck even growing up I felt like I had a connection and I am grateful to my sister for allowing me to be me and never trying to make me feel less than I am . she was my rock throughout my life.

And it was always a blast being me in front of her she is truly salt of the earth .

Interesting name I personally like Leggolas.

Sort about the late post didn't know you were renewing it . 🙈

Ha! You're all good!I don't think Leggolas was a very popular name my birth year! 

That's such a cute story thought!!!!!  Your sister's the real MVP!