Is this forum biased?

[warlockmaker]

Personally this forum, combined with my therapist sessions, helped me greatly in my transition,  with information on so many different issues that others have experieced. Help for those who are uncertain about who they are, their mental bliss and torments, plus so much more ....makeuo, clothes, electrolysis etc.

As for bias, I like many others can feel, at times differece in points of view, can be easily be intrepreted as bias. We are already highly sensitive because of our dysphoria. I know this Forum tries to avoid comments that hurt others and at time that can easily be intrepreted as bias by sone. But can you image the hurtful free for all that could easily happen.

For me I stay on to give back to our community with positive comments. I owe so much to the help this forum has provided. I know how difficult it is to prevent damaging emotional comments. I know the untiring work that so many give to run this site. I applaud them and thank them.

I know so many that have transition then stopped. Many for reasons of fear, love, health. I see that support also. All I ever suggest is that on your deathbed you can say I lived a fufilled life being who I am. Be that transitioning or not.

[Susan]

It seems to me that more times than not, when someone posts, including myself, that they have decided not to transition, typically most people respond very positively and wish that person well or state that they are happy that the person found some peace, but they usually follow it up with the big "but". I find that many who have transitioned imply that even though one has decided not to transition, that gender dysphoria will win out in the end and that contentment will only come from transitioning. It is only my own observation. I am beginning to think, however, that this forum and website attracts many more TG that have decided to transition and that there is a bias towards that way of thinking and the inevitability of their fate. The non-transitioning forum, in fact, attracts a lot less comments. I sincerely wish everyone well and honor their chosen path to contentment and peace. I enjoy this forum because it helps me to understand my choices in the context of others' life stories. But please don't presume that everyone who feels that they are woman in man's bodies will ultimately suffer from dysphoria if they chose to remain in those bodies. Namaste

There is no bias period!

The forum has no policy for or against transition, or those who choose a different path. We leave it to each to decide their own route.

The only restrictions here is you cannot make medical diagnosis, by telling someone else you are or are not this or that. You also cannot tell someone transition didn't work for me so don't make the same mistake I did, as each person's situation is different. Otherwise, you are always free to talk about your situation and story.

I do personally have one major trigger and that is people who over and over again make posts whining about their situation over and over again; and never take any positive steps to improve it, or discuss how they cope with the specifics of their situation to help others. Eventually I will get tired of them seeing it, and tell them it's time to talk about other things.

Actually now that I have been thinking about it, I have two, I am a big believer in personal responsibility. We make the decisions we did, we said this is what we want, and so we bear a measure of responsibility for those decisions.

As for those who commented about the level of moderation on this site, or the terms of service, you must remember while this site has plenty of social aspects, the primary purpose is to provide support. It is ran with that in mind. We are likely a different type of site than you are used to. We must be doing something right as we are the world's largest transgender site, and are heading up on a quarter century of providing service to our community.

Susan's Place aims to serve multiple needs of a diverse transgender community, health care providers, and the public. We provide timely and accurate information and educational resources while offering support and companionship to our transgender members,  Significant Others, Friends, Families, Allies, and respectful visitors in a safe environment. At times, we are called upon to avert potentially tragic situations.

• Providing Information and Education - The primary location for educational resources is our public transgender wiki. Both the wiki and our extensive set of links provide access to information of interest to those learning about transgender, intersex, androgyny, and related subjects. This includes links to medical and other support services outside of Susan's Place that have been reviewed and added by staff. Visitors to Chat are often questioning or newly transitioning or have friends or family members who are transitioning. They have a thirst for knowledge that our staff can provide or direct them to via our links and wiki.
  
  
• Providing Support. - Support comes in many forms, most visibly in Forums and in Chat. Responses to Forum posts can provide supporting information or a supportive word. In Chat, response to worries, concerns, and "I need help' queries can be handled real time.
  
  
• Preventing Tragedy - Our Forums and Chat venues give us and others the opportunity to see life-changing, life-threatening situations develop. Calm, reasoned response and provision of timely information (e.g., suicide hotline links) can mean the difference between life and death for a member or visitor. Awesome responsibility, indeed. We have all been depressed. Many of us have been suicidal. We cheer up those who are down about their lives and try to redirect those thoughts before they can turn to depression or, worse, suicide. We help buoy each other and thus keep our heads above water and our minds in the fragile condition known as sanity.
  
  
• Providing Companionship - We are a community, and we form bonds with our fellow travelers. Through Forums and Chat we, as staff and as transgender travelers, share in the hopes, fears, successes and hardships of our fellow travelers. With the added maturity recognized by your staff status, you can act to ensure that all respectful visitors and members find wholesome companionship among the membership.

[Gracie]

After many years of inner feelings that I could not understand, l only looked at and posted on Cross Dresser Forum for almost 20 years, before realizing more than two years ago that I am transgender and could no longer switch back and forth. Just passed two years of living full time as my true self. Within first year had Facial Feminization surgery, trachea shave, and Gender Confirmation surgery.

My wife and I have been married for over 50 years and have never been more happy. 

So, I can relate to one who may think transitioning is not necessary as I did until that day when I realized that in order to complete my life and deal with the inevitable medical issues, I would be able to cope much better as myself, shed the stress that I was enduring. At age 77, the positive change has been beyond describing.

Bottom line: am guessing that there is some bias in this section of Susan's. But that may reflect a lifetime of evolution and progression through various phases.

[Devlyn]

The site and policies are set up to be unbiased. The members, not so much. Fully transitioning women are applauded for living an authentic life. On the other hand, saying you're non-binary draws replies like  "whatever floats your boat" and  "if that's what makes you happy" instead.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Dena]

Is there bias against the non binary? It could appear that way. The non binary aren't active posters and as the result they are under represented on the site. I do my best to assist the non binary when I discover one but much of what I do on the site is to act as an interface between brand new members and people who are living the life. The non binary need to establish self support much like the transitioning members have. This isn't going to be easy as there are only a few transitioned members who are long past surgery and have remained here to support others. There are even fewer non binary who have completed their self discovery and are helping others.

A secondary issue is the medical community lacks a real understanding of the non binary and as the result, I have few resources that I can distribute to the non binary. Most of what I know about it has been learned over the last two years on this site. I am willing to learn more but it's a slow process as I have to wait for threads discussing what I need to learn.

If there is a bias, it is of your own making. This is a self support site and only by supporting others, will you remove the appearance of being an unbalanced site. Susan has provided a safe place for the non binary to exist and I will act against anybody who attacks the non binary as I would act if a transitioning member were attacked. My goal on the site is to help everybody find the life where they are comfortable. It doesn't matter to me if they are binary or non binary as long as they are happy.

[Devlyn]

The content of the support is more important than the volume of it. I feel that the bias shows in the half hearted nature of the replies. They can be quite dismissive at times, too. Perhaps it's unintentional bias due to lack of understanding.

I didn't know what non-binary meant the first time I read it. But I didn't think "pffffft, what a bunch of hooey", I thought "Yays! Big hug for being yourself!" I  don't need to understand  people to support them. I only have to understand support to do that. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[SadieBlake]

Dev, Dena, I have to think you're conflating non-binary with non transitioning.

For example, I consider myself to be binary and female. I don't pass so many people would conclude I may be non-binary, but that's not me. And non-binary people do transition also.

Nothing the OP has said suggests to me that she's non-binary, but whether or no, how I read it what she's asking about is transition, not identity.

[Dan]

...I am beginning to think, however, that this forum and website attracts many more TG that have decided to transition and that there is a bias towards that way of thinking and the inevitability of their fate.

Naturally. Before I decided to transition, I felt I could manage my dysphoria, and I did do so for over 40 years. It never went away. It was always there, but I managed it by dressing like the gender I identified with.  Mostly I felt  fine. Very uncomfortable about my boobs and shark week, but I managed it in the hope of adapting to my body. I felt no need to transition and no need to look for support in online communities such as this one.

To transition is not an inevitability for everyone. Dysphoria, to a greater or lesser degree, is however permanent and this is what is supported by the scientific literature. I agree with that literature after living with dysphoria for this long. I thought it would go away over time, but it didn't.  That is why I've decided to transition, that is why I've joined this forum.

...But please don't presume that everyone who feels that they are woman in man's bodies will ultimately suffer from dysphoria if they chose to remain in those bodies.

I've not yet read any authoritative literature that supports your presumption. It is also not entirely correct to say " ... .will ultimately suffer from dysphoria".  Based on personal experience and on my reading of the literature, the disconnect between the body one is born with and the lack of identification with that body is the root source of dysphoria ( the degree of dysphoria varies, but it is always there). 

So far the literature has recognized that dysphoria is lessened and often eliminated when full transition has been achieved.

It is possible to delay transition for a long time, but for many it will be an inevitable destination.

[Devlyn]

Dev, Dena, I have to think you're conflating non-binary with non transitioning.

For example, I consider myself to be binary and female. I don't pass so many people would conclude I may be non-binary, but that's not me. And non-binary people do transition also.

Nothing the OP has said suggests to me that she's non-binary, but whether or no, how I read it what she's asking about is transition, not identity.

I was just replying to "Is this forum biased?" by pointing out what I perceive as a bias on the site, among the people, not the policies.

Hugs, Devlyn

[SadieBlake]

And I agree, members have experiences that inform their views and our share of uninformed biases also. Imx the latter is pretty low here.

[aaajjj55]

This was an interesting question.  Whether 'biased' is the right word or not is open to debate but I do sense a subliminal leaning.

Whilst there is a common denominator in almost all of us - gender dysphoria - it has many different manifestations.  For me, for example, not a day goes by when I do not feel discomfort with my gender but this tends to be a feeling of having been cheated rather than an all out desire to transition.  I have a 'male' role in society (whatever that really means) and the personal consequences of relinquishing that role many times outweigh the benefits I may feel as a result of transitioning. 

That said, I am in total awe of others who post on this site who have taken the brave step and have blossomed as a result.

However, I do see the other side of the coin too.  There are many in this community whose dysphoria has been so bad that, for them, transition is the only viable option.  They have transitioned and are seeing first hand, the benefits to their wellbeing that this has brought.  In many cases, of course, there has been an impact on their family life, career, etc. but their strength of character has helped them to concentrate on the positives.  Inevitably, therefore, they are going to take the view 'come on in, the water's fine' or 'I tried what you're trying but it didn't help'.

So when we're faced with 'not for me but I respect your decision' v 'come on in'/'I tried', we're bound to sense a skewing of the debate.  As other respondents have suggested, this probably points to unintentional bias rather than a deliberate attempt to take one side or another.  That said, as the page banner proudly proclaims 'Transgender Resources', I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a bit of flag waving for the transition cause!

[Nora Kayte]

The site and policies are set up to be unbiased. The members, not so much. Fully transitioning women are applauded for living an authentic life. On the other hand, saying you're non-binary draws replies like  "whatever floats your boat" and  "if that's what makes you happy" instead.

Hugs, Devlyn

I tend to agree. If I post in any other section than transgender or transsexual MTF I get no replies. Transsexual MTF is for the ones who plan for bottom surgery as well as all the other surgeries correct? But don't the ones who plan to never have bottom surgery have most of the same problems? But if you post over there you get NO SUPPORT. And don't say you do. And even if you got any support it is not the same amount. That's for sure. She to say there is no bias you are lying to yourself   There is bias everywhere. And to say it just disappears on this site is foolish. It's the same in support groups. And you can feel it. So if you think there is no bias here. I have a bridge I want to sell you. Also when someone post in the transgender and MTF areas and those posts are moved you are actually condemning those post to the NO support land. Where the bias never go.  Think I'm wrong. See how many replies they get.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[rmaddy]

The site and policies are set up to be unbiased. The members, not so much. Fully transitioning women are applauded for living an authentic life. On the other hand, saying you're non-binary draws replies like  "whatever floats your boat" and  "if that's what makes you happy" instead.

Pretty much. 

Part of this is that trying novel approaches to deal with dysphoria (i.e. the steps of transition) feels more exciting than our more established coping mechanisms.  As a consequence, transitioners tend to get a bit euphoric about what they are experiencing, which is fine, and start telling everyone else that they need to do it, which is not.  I have taken issue with people who enter threads from new questioners with a barrage of suggestions of things for them to do--"Why don't you wear panties to work tomorrow?" or "Try painting your nails" instead of telling them to seek out a counselor.

On the other hand, I think it is quite true that many of us transitioning have honestly believed and stated that we were not planning to transition.  I certainly did.  It didn't work out for me.  Or, more accurately, transition became, through a variety of lift experiences, a more attractive option for me than it used to be. 

This in no way means that this will happen to you or that I should superimpose my reality on yours.  I offer it only by way of explanation as to why non-transitioners occasionally encounter skepticism.

[rmaddy]

So if you think there is no bias here. I have a bridge I want to sell you. Also when someone post in the transgender and MTF areas and those posts are moved you are actually condemning those post to the NO support land. Where the bias never go.  Think I'm wrong. See how many replies they get.

Without invalidating your experience at all, I would encourage you not to measure support by the number of replies you get, but rather by what you are able to draw from the responses you do receive and is useful to you in your life.  Perhaps you already do this, but we are living in an era where there is a tendency to value oneself in proportion to online attention.  It's a pretty slippery slope, IMO.

[Shellie Hart]

I am not socially transitioning, just privately. I am on HRT not because I fully want to be a woman (although that would be super nice), but for my private life that simply requires as much time as possible living the way I was meant to from birth. I should have been born fully female, but since I was not so blessed, I am simply doing what I can. I simply cannot (nor will I ever) be able to afford FFS or other things. I can afford HRT, but that's it and I accept my lot in life. I know this is not the "majority vote" here and I am fine with that. I just know I will get better affirmation for my life situation here than elsewhere. Not total acceptance since I am not public...again, I accept that's how it is for me. I don't think this forum is biased against people like me, it's just that I am in a minority of sorts. That's okay....

[JMJW]

When I talk about bias in this post I mean between the members. I don't know about the forum itself.

There's bias toward those who are transitioning over using other coping methods. Maybe because of relatability.

Within the group of transitioners there a bias toward those who are transitioning quickly. Probably because updates are more frequent. There's a bias toward those on HRT over those who aren't. Possibly because the effects are more staggering and it's more aspirational to many.

Like most forums, there's bias toward long time members and frequent posters. But that's to be expected.

[Nora Kayte]

Without invalidating your experience at all, I would encourage you not to measure support by the number of replies you get, but rather by what you are able to draw from the responses you do receive and is useful to you in your life.  Perhaps you already do this, but we are living in an era where there is a tendency to value oneself in proportion to online attention.  It's a pretty slippery slope, IMO.

I value myself just fine. I know who and what I am.
Believe me I take great things from the good responses I receive. The support here has been invaluable. My life would definitely suck if not for this site. But when I get the same thing over and over for about 60% of my posts I tend to quit holding my tongue to the BS. . (See a therapist) (go to a support group) and etc.... Nobody checks to see how long I've been a member before they tell me all the stuff you tell a newbie. And I and sure you did not read a single one of my posts. How long you been on this site? Ive been here longer than most who post regularly. If I have a super personal problem and I need a real response I usually PM somebody with the experience I need. Usually I am venting when I am posting in the forum. Or I am sharing something cool that happened. The people here are biased. If your not in the main click. You don't get the same support. I've been here long enough to see newbie post the same thing as someone who's been here while and never post again because they were ignored.

Thank god I have 2 of the best gender therapist in California I can call if things get super bad and my endo is probably one of the best if not the best in socal.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Nora Kayte]

Lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk