Mil Trans - share your experience

[KageNiko]

I just came out to my workplace last week, as well as my psychiatrist and psychologist.  My transition is about to start getting figured out, but first I have to wait for my case manager to return from leave and let me know what's next.

I'm a little nervous, but very excited at the same time.  Since I'm at the beginning of my journey I was hoping to see if other military trans members were willing to share their experience with the process.

~Brandi

[Dani]

I am from a different generation. I denied and/or suppressed my feelings for over 50 years. For several reasons, I delayed transition until I retired.

In my day, I would have been severely beaten up or even murdered if I came out in the open with my transgender feelings. In fact, I was directly asked if I was homosexual in an interview with Army Criminal Investigation Division for another situation. Once they got you under oath, they can ask you anything.

[Erica b]

Im still closeted but please share how it goes for you.

Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk

[Wendywishes]

Good luck...that is wonderful news!  I am not in a position in my military career (or personal life) where I can transition, but I do know my way around the military after 15 years and know quite a bit about the new policies...if you need any advice about anything, just ask!!

I have been seeing a counselor for PTSD, but I have also opened up about being transgender, so it has become a big part of our weekly sessions.  However, we have avoided giving me a formal diagnosis to prevent other potential issues.

[KageNiko]

I'd been logging my experience in a kind of story format. Would anyone read it if I pasted it here?

[Wendywishes]

I'd been logging my experience in a kind of story format. Would anyone read it if I pasted it here?

If you feel comfortable doing that, I would definitely appreciate it!  I may not be in a position yet to transition myself, but I am extremely interested in how the military process is working and maybe I could use your experience to help one of my soldiers (or myself) in the future!

[dusty97]

I just came out to my workplace last week, as well as my psychiatrist and psychologist.  My transition is about to start getting figured out, but first I have to wait for my case manager to return from leave and let me know what's next.

I'm a little nervous, but very excited at the same time.  Since I'm at the beginning of my journey I was hoping to see if other military trans members were willing to share their experience with the process.

~Brandi

I think you might be the same person who posted in roll call...(?) can't remember the username.
Anyway, I'm hoping to be out within about two months, assuming the army will let me get to a gender therapist and get some of the processes rolling within that time.
Once I'm out, I'll be doing a youtube series on my transition in general, and specifically how things go within the army. You're welcome to follow me there once I get that series started up if you want to see someone else in the military going through some similar things.
Like I said, it probably won't be for a couple months, so I don't know where you'll be at that point, but it still might be nice to see someone else in similar situations.
So yes, I'm planning on transitioning while in the military, just hovering on the verge at the moment.. waiting to get home from deployment so I can actually take care of myself... and they keep pushing my date back... and back... and back..   
I can't wait to be home. I feel trapped because I've really come to terms with it while out here but I'm in this unending sense of limbo, and T feels unattainable right now...
Sorry, that turned into a bit of an "army sucks right now" rant...

Modified to add:
As an afterthought, I guess I should've given you my youtube tag just in case you're curious. Search D.S.Wacky, Witty, or Wise? and that's me. I don't have too many videos up rn, but I'm doing a series on general army stuff- the plan is to release one every Wednesday. Excuse my awkwardness.

[KageNiko]

I think you might be the same person who posted in roll call...(?) can't remember the username.
Anyway, I'm hoping to be out within about two months, assuming the army will let me get to a gender therapist and get some of the processes rolling within that time.
Once I'm out, I'll be doing a youtube series on my transition in general, and specifically how things go within the army. You're welcome to follow me there once I get that series started up if you want to see someone else in the military going through some similar things.
Like I said, it probably won't be for a couple months, so I don't know where you'll be at that point, but it still might be nice to see someone else in similar situations.
So yes, I'm planning on transitioning while in the military, just hovering on the verge at the moment.. waiting to get home from deployment so I can actually take care of myself... and they keep pushing my date back... and back... and back..   
I can't wait to be home. I feel trapped because I've really come to terms with it while out here but I'm in this unending sense of limbo, and T feels unattainable right now...
Sorry, that turned into a bit of an "army sucks right now" rant...

Modified to add:
As an afterthought, I guess I should've given you my youtube tag just in case you're curious. Search D.S.Wacky, Witty, or Wise? and that's me. I don't have too many videos up rn, but I'm doing a series on general army stuff- the plan is to release one every Wednesday. Excuse my awkwardness.

Yes!  Same person from the Roll-Call thread.  That's awesome that you're going to be documenting it like that.  One of the things that's been bothering me is how much trouble others have been reporting with the process on the SPART*A facebook group.  I see how lucky I am that my first sgt, supervisor, and close co-workers have been so supportive, but I know it won't always bee like that.

[dusty97]

Yes!  Same person from the Roll-Call thread.  That's awesome that you're going to be documenting it like that.  One of the things that's been bothering me is how much trouble others have been reporting with the process on the SPART*A facebook group.  I see how lucky I am that my first sgt, supervisor, and close co-workers have been so supportive, but I know it won't always bee like that.

Yeah... Even just when I showed up 5 minutes prior to the training I listened (in silence, because I was too much of a coward to speak up) to the CO and 1SG saying how "this is going to be too awkward/ difficult," and "why can't we just leave what is be?" etc etc. The same stuff that I'm assuming got said when DADT got repealed.
*Totally* makes for a positive environment... But Ce la vie, I guess. We'll get it figured out one way or another.

[KageNiko]

Yeah... Even just when I showed up 5 minutes prior to the training I listened (in silence, because I was too much of a coward to speak up) to the CO and 1SG saying how "this is going to be too awkward/ difficult," and "why can't we just leave what is be?" etc etc. The same stuff that I'm assuming got said when DADT got repealed.
*Totally* makes for a positive environment... But Ce la vie, I guess. We'll get it figured out one way or another.

Oh yeah, my leadership has elected to hold off on the awareness training because I came out to them, and now they're going to take it seriously, lol.  In fact, just yesterday I offered to help with making the training more effective before they finally do it.  I might even be brave enough to do the brief myself, if they'd let me...

[dusty97]

Oh yeah, my leadership has elected to hold off on the awareness training because I came out to them, and now they're going to take it seriously, lol.  In fact, just yesterday I offered to help with making the training more effective before they finally do it.  I might even be brave enough to do the brief myself, if they'd let me...

Oh gosh, I was sitting there like "wrong, wrong, wrong, okay that's kinda right, wrong, depends on who you ask, who  wrote this...?" 

Again.. too much of a coward to say something about it, because I feel like knowing too much about the specifics of the subject might out me. The definition of dysphoria didn't even begin to really explain it, and all of the examples were MtF. Like are we now going to be seen as less valid...? I know that shouldn't concern me, but it really stuck out to me that there were no scenario examples that included an FtM...


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[Wendywishes]

Oh gosh, I was sitting there like "wrong, wrong, wrong, okay that's kinda right, wrong, depends on who you ask, who  wrote this...?" 

Again.. too much of a coward to say something about it, because I feel like knowing too much about the specifics of the subject might out me. The definition of dysphoria didn't even begin to really explain it, and all of the examples were MtF. Like are we now going to be seen as less valid...? I know that shouldn't concern me, but it really stuck out to me that there were no scenario examples that included an FtM...

I helped provide training to over 300 cadre and over 200 civilian staff, and it seemed nobody really paid any attention to any of it...except when it came to transwomen and genitals.  Luckily, I was able to make sure the training was conducted properly for my unit and shut down any stupid comments or questions.

In true military fashion, instead of having actual knowledgeable professionals give the training, a training package was passed down to the units and it was mandated that the commander provide the training.  The rub isn't the policy, but it is understanding what transgender is...and most people still don't have a real clue, especially in the context of the military culture. 

The complete training package was actually pretty excellent...unfortunately, the quality of the training depended on the quality of the trainer.  If the commander actually read the 72-page DoD Transgender Handbook, the policy FAQs, and the entire training slide package/lesson plan, then they should have a good enough grasp to provide decent training.  Most any question/scenario that could be imagined was covered somewhere in there, including FtM vignettes.  However, if they only looked at the Powerpoint and/or didn't care about the training, then they were likely completely lost when it came to anything outside the simple definitions on the slides.  I'd imagine that is exactly how the majority of the training that was given...     

[KageNiko]

Yeah, I talked go my psychologist about how I wanted to do the brief and she pointed something out that I hadn't considered: If I brief, and out myself, then it might turn people off because it's biased. She recommended helping you get the material better, and to help whoever will do the brief to fully understand it, but take a step back and hope for the best... Lol!

[dusty97]

I helped provide training to over 300 cadre and over 200 civilian staff, and it seemed nobody really paid any attention to any of it...except when it came to transwomen and genitals. 

Too true....

In true military fashion, instead of having actual knowledgeable professionals give the training, a training package was passed down to the units and it was mandated that the commander provide the training.  The rub isn't the policy, but it is understanding what transgender is...and most people still don't have a real clue, especially in the context of the military culture. 

I kid you not, the day after, I heard someone saying (in all seriousness) that they were going to say they should be female just to be able to get the PT test standards. I shut that sh*t down real quick. They just still don't get that they can't just "say they are," that there's a whole process and whatnot... Like that kind of talk is what's going to get this taken away from us. I educated them. Just couldn't be a bystander in that situation.

The complete training package was actually pretty excellent...unfortunately, the quality of the training depended on the quality of the trainer.  If the commander actually read the 72-page DoD Transgender Handbook, the policy FAQs, and the entire training slide package/lesson plan, then they should have a good enough grasp to provide decent training.  Most any question/scenario that could be imagined was covered somewhere in there, including FtM vignettes.  However, if they only looked at the Powerpoint and/or didn't care about the training, then they were likely completely lost when it came to anything outside the simple definitions on the slides.  I'd imagine that is exactly how the majority of the training that was given...   

Pretty sure that's how ours went. CO and 1SG didn't seem to really grasp the concept or understand what was going on. Actually quite sad, really. I was hoping they would at least put a little effort into this one- since it could kind of adversely effect some of our lives.

[KageNiko]

I kid you not, the day after, I heard someone saying (in all seriousness) that they were going to say they should be female just to be able to get the PT test standards. I shut that sh*t down real quick. They just still don't get that they can't just "say they are," that there's a whole process and whatnot... Like that kind of talk is what's going to get this taken away from us. I educated them. Just couldn't be a bystander in that situation.

I believe it was just last week that I was talking to my supervisor and 1st Sgt about that.  My 1st Sgt said that people may say something like that, and I replied by talking about the procedures that I'll have to face if I get what I want, such as electrolysis.  I finished with, "Do they really think that's all worth it, just to get lower standards on my pt test?"