Can I become more feminine looking?

[annemarie]

I'm a 19 year old male who experiences a lot of dysphoria because I think I am gender fluid. On some days all I wish I could do is look fully female. i don't feel any discomfort in pronouns or how I'm treated at all, but just with the way my body looks. Is there anything I can do to pass as a girl on my dysphoric days, bearing in mind that I still want children in the future so a full HRT wouldn't be suitable for me?

[SailorMars1994]

Canada? America? what country do you serve? I know Canada allows trans people to come out no issue. I would say the best you can do is to practice on your female voice , get a feminine wardrobe and hair extenstions or a wig. Also, if that isnt enough you can go on a low doasge of HRT to see if that helps any at all. If you are very worried about kids you could freeze your sperm as i did 2 years ago. Either or, i wish you all the best !!!!

Love-Ashley

[Natalia]

You can let your hair grow... people can start to think you're into rock or heavy metal, but long hair may also makes you feel and look more androgenous and feminine. You can also use some cosmetics to make your skin look and feel more feminine/softer... you can pluck your eyebrows a bit... you can have facial hair removal...

Clothes... there are a lot of feminine clothes that can be easily put in a masculine or neutral wardrobe. With neutral clothes and a neutral presentation it is easier to go to both masculine or feminine... or stay neutral.

[Kendra]

Of all the things that trigger how others perceive gender, facial hair is a major item - difficult and requires quite a bit of time to permanently remove, but so much easier to switch gender presentation without it.  If you have the financial resources that's something you can start any time. 

What I didn't realize earlier is, shaving isn't just about stubble.  Hair roots have color, skin is a bit translucent, and each full size root creates a crater where it pokes through the skin.  Permanent hair removal changes the way your skin looks.  Getting ready is so easy now - I stopped wearing foundation.

[elkie-t]

I would take care of facial hair, wax my legs/arms, ask for a unisex hairstyle cut and learn to wear it male style/ female style, practice on voice with speech therapist, learn to do makeup. Etc

Yet, you must realize that at 19 you're still growing and the longer you're exposed to testosterone, the harder it will be to change presentation in the future.

Maybe you should get a psychologist and try to figure out for yourself if you're truly genderfluid, or maybe just scared to transition? The sooner you figure it out, the shorter will be your transition. It is not fun to realize 'I cannot be in the wrong body anymore' at 40 when you're married and have children.


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[SailorMars1994]

Of all the things that trigger how others perceive gender, facial hair is a major item - difficult and requires quite a bit of time to permanently remove, but so much easier to switch gender presentation without it.  If you have the financial resources that's something you can start any time. 

What I didn't realize earlier is, shaving isn't just about stubble.  Hair roots have color, skin is a bit translucent, and each full size root creates a crater where it pokes through the skin.  Permanent hair removal changes the way your skin looks.  Getting ready is so easy now - I stopped wearing foundation.

That is awesome.. arrggh i cant wait to get back to laser hair removal. Seeing facial hair first thing in the morning is a major trigger for anxiety :/

[Tammy Jade]

Some of these are possibly more permanent then you are looking for but I would suggest.

Get your nails done - clear shellac is a good option if you don't want it to stand out to much.

Get your brows shaped

Hair!! As other people have said grow it out, makes a huge difference particularly if you get a cute cut once it's got some length to it.

Ear piercings

Other odd things I find help, a good set of wedge boots, jewellery - bangles and rings.


I have found there really isn't one thing just a whole list of 'tells' and the more 'tells' I can tick off the more passable I seem to be.

Hope that helps.


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[Lady Lisandra]

Hi! I don't know what are you doing now to look feminine, but:

-You can get female clothes. Early in my transition I could pass as a girl while wearing male clothes except for my jeans.

-Try wearing makeup. Nothing exaggerated. A bit of powder, eyeliner and mascara can make a big difference.

-Hairstyle. Long hair doesn't mean female always. There are lots of short hair styles that look extremely femenine. Find a haircut that you can style in both feminine and masculine ways. Also, hair accessories are awesome for feminization. A hairband with a flower.

-If you are worried about your fertility, I know a few trans people that take hormones for 6 months or so, then quit for 6 months, and so... That way they get a bit feminized but their genitals remain functional.

I hope I have helped.

[annemarie]

Hi! I don't know what are you doing now to look feminine, but:

-You can get female clothes. Early in my transition I could pass as a girl while wearing male clothes except for my jeans.

-Try wearing makeup. Nothing exaggerated. A bit of powder, eyeliner and mascara can make a big difference.

-Hairstyle. Long hair doesn't mean female always. There are lots of short hair styles that look extremely femenine. Find a haircut that you can style in both feminine and masculine ways. Also, hair accessories are awesome for feminization. A hairband with a flower.

-If you are worried about your fertility, I know a few trans people that take hormones for 6 months or so, then quit for 6 months, and so... That way they get a bit feminized but their genitals remain functional.

I hope I have helped.

Hello! Thank you for your response, you have helped!

I have spoken to my doctor recently who has told me that he is considering prescribing me finasteride. Do You think that this could perhaps be a good substitute for me since it wouldn't render be infertile and would decrease the DHT in my body significantly? I understand that testosterone would rise, but isn't the main culprit of masculinisation DHT? I am already quite feminine looking as I am only 5ft 7 and slim with quite soft features.

[annemarie]

Some of these are possibly more permanent then you are looking for but I would suggest.

Get your nails done - clear shellac is a good option if you don't want it to stand out to much.

Get your brows shaped

Hair!! As other people have said grow it out, makes a huge difference particularly if you get a cute cut once it's got some length to it.

Ear piercings

Other odd things I find help, a good set of wedge boots, jewellery - bangles and rings.


I have found there really isn't one thing just a whole list of 'tells' and the more 'tells' I can tick off the more passable I seem to be.

Hope that helps.


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One of my biggest issues is that I still live with my parents and I cannot come out to them as they are strictly religious so I cannot do anything drastic. However, when I'm at university (this october) I can make some small changes such as shaping my eyebrows. Is it possible to do that myself or do I have to see a professional for that?

[elkie-t]

One of my biggest issues is that I still live with my parents and I cannot come out to them as they are strictly religious so I cannot do anything drastic. However, when I'm at university (this october) I can make some small changes such as shaping my eyebrows. Is it possible to do that myself or do I have to see a professional for that?

The longer you wait, the harder it gets... And they will notice sooner or later. And they will be hurt you were hiding what you did from them. So, I'd say - maybe you should let them know how you feel and let them decide whether accept it or not

[annemarie]

The longer you wait, the harder it gets... And they will notice sooner or later. And they will be hurt you were hiding what you did from them. So, I'd say - maybe you should let them know how you feel and let them decide whether accept it or not

I know for sure that they would not accept it at all. As in, I have no doubts about that at all. They are very backward in that sense

[elkie-t]

I know for sure that they would not accept it at all. As in, I have no doubts about that at all. They are very backward in that sense

And still there are benefits to coming out early to your parents. Maybe they won't accept you, but you won't be doing anything behind your back

[Tammy Jade]

Parental love should not be underestimated and can over come a lot (not in all cases) but you may be surprised.

As someone else said sooner is better, even if they don't accept it at least they won't be hurt from lies.

Shaping and Nails you can do your self but like everything requires practice (or at least I needed it) so in the end I just paid a salon.

The first time is the worst tho, and once the salon got the shape right maintaining it hasn't bees so bad.


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