Hey Folks,
So like the title of the topic says, I accidentally got myself banned from a Facebook transgender support group. I have been so incredibly distraught from it, that its been hard to keep the emotions and tears back. I just really need some friendly support right now.
So I got kicked out for "Gatekeeping", whatever the heck that means. All because I made a remark on a friends post about poly relationships. My friend was worried that their fiance has been paying more attention to this other woman in the relationship. My friend recently came out saying they wish to become a male (FtM). I expressed my very real concerns and thoughts about it. People got upset that I said it was "natural human nature" for the fiance to be attracted to this other woman. Its unfortunately true with a lot of cis people though. I've personally tried an open relationship and It caused me so much grief to see my girl with another guy, even though I said it was alright. It felt like I literally got stabbed in the back. That was the feeling of pain. I tried explaining that to these other people and they got super offended. 15 minutes later I got a message from an admin saying I was banned. At this point I was super angry and responded back with a very nasty remark.
A few seconds later I literally started crying, in front of my friends. Luckily I had some sun glasses on to hide my face. I had just realized what happened and I was now distraught. I needed that support group badly. I'm in the beginning stages of starting hormones and want all of the support and help I can find. Now I've lost a big chunk of that. I know there's still this awesome support website, but the other one was a lot more convenient and easier to access. I literally cried a good 5 or 6 times on Saturday when this happened. I had to keep removing myself from company at this party, I was at, to feel a little better. It got to the point where I was so mad and upset that I started slapping myself in the face to "snap" my self out of it so I could be presentable at this party. I haven't honestly cried this hard and emotionally since about a year ago, when I accidentally came out to my parents and they yelled at me. These last few days have been nearly as emotional as the first day, except I can keep the tears back now.
Anyways I'm really looking for some people to cheer me up. It's been so incredibly hard for me lately between work, family, and friends. Everything has just been getting me so down lately. Not to mention my therapist keeps canceling our appointments for what I would call "lousy excuses". I would drop her, but I've already explained so much to her, that I feel I would be wasting my time to go to other therapists. Luckily she's been nice about the missed appointments and I haven't had to pay for therapy in the last 2 months. But it's still another thing severely stressing me out. I just need like a virtual hug, through the computer to tell me everything is going to be alright.
