Coming out to siblings?

[saraandsam107]

My boyfriend recently came out to his parents and a few close family members (friends awhile ago) and is struggling to figure out just how to come out to 3 older sisters. They knew growing up that he wasn't like everyone else and coming out of the closet wasn't even something that needed to happen with 2 oldest Siblings... They knew and still loved him and took him in when his parents were still struggling with it. His third oldest sister though.... Took upon herself a few months later to call him an abomination among other things and he isn't sure how to come out to her or what to do if she doesn't accept him.

Advice is appreciated

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[Raell]

When you say "coming out" are you talking about his being gay, or transgender?

I used a mass email to come out as a nonbinary partial transmale to my siblings. That way there was no confrontation, no forcing family members to make up their minds on the spot, no awkwardness or shame.

You can briefly and casually explain how you've felt during your life, what you are doing about it, maybe provide a couple of links in case someone wants further information on the subject, and leave it at that.

In my case, nobody even commented or seemed surprised.

[LizK]

My boyfriend recently came out to his parents and a few close family members (friends awhile ago) and is struggling to figure out just how to come out to 3 older sisters. They knew growing up that he wasn't like everyone else and coming out of the closet wasn't even something that needed to happen with 2 oldest Siblings... They knew and still loved him and took him in when his parents were still struggling with it. His third oldest sister though.... Took upon herself a few months later to call him an abomination among other things and he isn't sure how to come out to her or what to do if she doesn't accept him.

Advice is appreciated

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Hi saraandsam107

Welcome to Susan's. I hope you enjoy your time here.

Depending on what it is your boyfriend is coming out about is important. Is your boyfriend Male to female or femalea to male, non binary, androgynous, gay...that information really is about fine tuning some of the things you can say to overcome issues.

I have always had a good success with email to a large group but a family member, personally I would quietly sit them down and tell them how life is and what I plan on do about it.

So you are able to get the very best from being here there are a couple of links we give to all our new members

Site Policies and Stuff to Remember (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)

Regards
ElizabethK
Global Moderator

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[saraandsam107]

When you say "coming out" are you talking about his being gay, or transgender?

I used a mass email to come out as a nonbinary partial transmale to my siblings. That way there was no confrontation, no forcing family members to make up their minds on the spot, no awkwardness or shame.

You can briefly and casually explain how you've felt during your life, what you are doing about it, maybe provide a couple of links in case someone wants further information on the subject, and leave it at that.

In my case, nobody even commented or seemed surprised.

I'm talking about being transgender, sorry I didn't specify

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[saraandsam107]

Hi saraandsam107

Welcome to Susan's. I hope you enjoy your time here.

Depending on what it is your boyfriend is coming out about is important. Is your boyfriend Male to female or femalea to male, non binary, androgynous, gay...that information really is about fine tuning some of the things you can say to overcome issues.

I have always had a good success with email to a large group but a family member, personally I would quietly sit them down and tell them how life is and what I plan on do about it.

So you are able to get the very best from being here there are a couple of links we give to all our new members

Site Policies and Stuff to Remember (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)

Regards
ElizabethK
Global Moderator

Please Remember

Do not share anything on Susan's that you do not want to be public information.

Things that you should read

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

My boyfriend is female to male and coming out about being transgender to family members (very few know, only parents and a few others)

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