Julia, stop thinking so much and take it one step at a time.
I'm like you in many respects. Started hormones senior year and transitioned right after graduating. I had to wait until I was 22 to have SRS so in that respect you are ahead of me. It's been 44 of my 62 years that I've had "to live with it" but let me tell you, it's not as bad as you think.
Being of trans experience is something that will be with you the rest of your life but this doesn't mean you need to have a big red T tattooed on your forehead, wave flags and tell everyone you meet. This deep stealth business is nonsense so stop with all the what if scenarios. Mostly stealth and highly stealth are more realistic and practical objectives. There are always going to be some people that know... your doctors, your family and those that you choose to tell. Living in a small town though where people knew you before is tough. As time passes, there will be less and less of these people that know or recognize you but unfortunately, your most obvious difference may be what ties to the past. As there's not much you can do about being trans or your albinism - you just have to make peace with these things but I think they make you special.
I hate people knowing of my trans history but as you've noted, there's always the likelihood some breadcrumbs to your past will remain. Heck, I was born in a state where it is impossible to change your birth certificate but fortunately, I haven't needed one in my adult life. If I did, all I could do is suck it up, hold my head high and explain the situation. I wouldn't be happy about it and undoubtedly would find it embarrassing and awkward but it would be a situation beyond my control. There's wisdom in knowing the things you can change and in learning there are some you simply cannot.
Keep in mind also that beyond the social legacies you may have to deal with, you're also going to have a trans body to take care of the rest of your life. Hormones and dilation will be things you will probably have to deal with forever but you know what? It really doesn't matter and is no biggie. These things become like brushing your teeth or combing your hair. These aren't things to be depressed about. If you want to be depressed, think back and picture where you'd be if you didn't take hormones and transition and see if your life isn't moving in more a positive direction than it was. Some things may be hard but comparing where you are to where you would have been should make you happy, not sad.
And when it comes to serious relationships or finding a husband, I can see by your words that you wouldn't be deeply involved without telling your partner. Neither would I. Trying to hide and keep secrets would eat me alive. I told my husband, a macho guy you wouldn't think would be able to handle it but he did and he did well. I've also never had a DNA test anytime in my life.
Don't fall into the trap of thinking you're not a "real" woman. While it is true you or I won't ever be really female you will be in the ways that matter other than being able to carry children. Neither you or I could help the body we were born with but we do our best and go through a lot with the material we are given to be as female as possible short of being born that way. All we can do is accept this as who and what we are and take solace knowing we are extraordinary.
What makes us women though is our lives, the ways we live as other women live and because "woman" is the lens through which we view the world as it is for other women and because of the shared experiences between all of us of being women. That's something no one can take away from me. Sure, cis females may have some early things going on we didn't but as you do grow up and make your way in the world, things equal out pretty quickly.
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As to some of the puzzling comments by others, I was born in 1955, started toward transition at 15, began HRT at 17 and finished social transition in 1973 at 18 after graduating high school. Yes, that was really uncommon but it was possible. I had good parents (that may have been aliens!)
