Am I ungrateful?

[missmacyrose]

On Thursday I had the session with my therapist where she wrote me my letter of referral for HRT. She said that come Monday I could call the appointment center and book my appointment with the endocrinologist so that I could finally start my hormones! Yay! Or so I thought. Turns out my endocrinologist is on vacation and even after he gets back in two weeks he can't see me for another month... 6 weeks total. A month and a half to wait to get my prescription. I tried talking to Kaiser about seeing a different endocrinologist, one who could see me sooner, but they said that for a different endo to see me my current endo would have to sign off on the doctor change, and he is on vacation.... you see my dilemma. It's agonizing to be so close to starting HRT but have to wait so much longer... I feel like every day I am not putting the proper hormones in my body I am feeling worse and worse about myself. Am I ungrateful? Should I just be happy I have my letter at all and stop whining? Do I sound like a brat here begging to be seen sooner? Please tell me I am not a bad person for being so impatient when I know there are plenty of trans people out there in much worse situations than I am.

[elkie-t]

You might be able to call your endocrinologist by phone once he's back from vacation and ask if he could prescribe you initial dosage on HRT for 4 weeks without seeing you. I'm not sure if he would, but a girl can ask

[Dani]

Am I ungrateful?

No, just a bit impatient. Even with HRT you will need several YEARS to fully develop.

Should I just be happy I have my letter at all and stop whining?

You should be happy that you have taken a major step in transition.

Do I sound like a brat here begging to be seen sooner?

No. Our condition is called a dysphoria for a reason. You might call the Endocrinologist's office and ask to be called if any cancellations happen before your appointment. That is how I got to see my Endocrinologist in just a few days.

Please tell me I am not a bad person for being so impatient when I know there are plenty of trans people out there in much worse situations than I am.

OK. You are not a bad person for every reason.  Being concerned about others is typical of a very good person.

There is so many other things to do on your transition checklist. Why not get started on some of those other tasks?

[KathyLauren]

Waiting lists, unfortunately, are a fact of life in this game.  If it's any consolation, I had to wait 4 months between getting my HRT letter and seeing the doctor who would prescribe them.  And that's only because I am a low-risk patient and didn't need to see the endo.  A lot of my friends have had to wait eight months to a year to see the endo.

Patience may be a virtue elsewhere, but here it's a necessity.

Once you start on HRT, you will have to wait for your breasts to grow, which will take months or years.  If you decide to have surgery, there will be more waiting.

Take a deep breath.  Relax.  You are finally on the road that will take you where you need to go.

[Dan]

It's all a waiting game.  At least you got the ticket to ride.  It won't be too long and it will be the night before Christmas....