My Very Own HRT thread!

[Maddie86]

6 weeks down, starting week 7 tomorrow!

I see the doctor again in just under 3 weeks, and I think I'm going to need to get my doses raised because I feel the testosterone is making itself known again. my skin is still softer than it used to be, but when I started HRT it started clearing up and looking healthier after a week or two, but now my skin is starting to look blotchy again and it's getting irritated easily like it used to before i started. I still have a little male anger come out once in a while, but I also have some feminine traits too, like without thinking I'll just open up my mouth and say something girly, it's weird. I think I'm starting to get a little more softspoken too, which I'm happy about.

on the brighter side, I FINALLY had a good weigh in! I was stuck at 208 for my last 3, but then on friday I was down to 204!! maybe I can be under 200 by labor day afterall! I did cheat yesterday with some of my meals, I went to a concert at Darien Lake (I started another thread where I was asking about drinking, I didn't end up drinking) and I stopped at my favorite restaurant on the way, Dinosaur BBQ in Syracuse. oops. oh well, I did break my jogging record earlier in the week, I did just under 3 miles in 26 minutes and 42 seconds! beat my old record by almost 40 seconds! it was a little chilly that day and I think it helped.

[RobynTx]

Congrats. Sounds like it was a good week for you.  Keep it up and I'm sure you'll reach your weight goal.

[Maddie86]

Well I now have 7 weeks under my belt, and I'm also 2lbs lighter than last week! Nothing new really, I have another doctor's appointment on the 15th and I really hope my doses get increased, I feel like the spiro isn't working as much anymore, my skin is breaking out again and I've experienced a bit of male rage this week, which I'm bummed about. A couple days ago I went to get my blood tests done so I can make sure they get it in on time!

I've also been feeling really lonely a lot lately, it sucks. I love my friends and I want to spend time with them but I have no single friends and most of my friends don't have much free time, so I kinda feel like I'm annoying them when I'm asking them to do things. I need to start dating but at this point in my transition I just don't think it's a good idea, I still have a very long way to go and I need to be more comfortable with myself before I'm ready to be intimate.

So my job can be seasonal a lot of the time, and I've been fortunate enough to have been working for most of the year so far. I've been with this one company since april and I've been sick of them for a while now and I quit on friday. tomorrow I'm going back to work with my dad and we will have work until early October and then I might be unemployed for a while, which I'm looking forward to. When I'm unemployed I usually spend more time getting in touch with my feminine side, so I'm really looking forward to some well deserved me time in about another month!

[RobynTx]

Sounds like a good plan. Just anything to stay occupied. My 3 month checkup still isn't for another six weeks but I'm so anxious to get it done. For me all the kids started school and my "weekend " is in the middle of the week so I've been getting plenty of me time.

At least time is going by faster at this stage. That first month of HRT seemed to have lasted forever.

[Maddie86]

ok, so I haven't posted in here in a little while, I didn't really have anything new to say until now

I finally got down to 200lbs! I'm so proud! hopefully I can lose another 25 to 30

and now for the bigger news... I went to the doctor today and he approved me to up my dosage! I guess he started me off super low, but now he's doubling it and he might even prescribe me even more estrogen after my next visit in 3 months! I'm excited! hopefully I'll be looking more feminine by halloween!

[RobynTx]

Awesome news. I'm so happy for you. Don't get complacent about your weight. Keep going and stay healthy.

[Maddie86]

Awesome news. I'm so happy for you. Don't get complacent about your weight. Keep going and stay healthy.

aw thanks!

the weight loss is definitely gunna slow down now I think. it already has since I started HRT, but my work has a lot to do with it. I have a job that can be pretty physically demanding, and over the summer I was with a company where I was pretty much constantly moving all day, but 2 weeks ago I left the company to go work with my dad and this job we're on has a good amount of heavy lifting but not much cardio. my work can be seasonal too, after another 2 or 3 weeks I don't have anything else lined up, oops! I still go to the park every day and jog, so I'll just have to stay there longer when I have some downtime

[Maddie86]

So saturday I started taking my bigger dose of estrogen and so far I haven't noticed any changes, but it's probably a little too soon. my doctor gave me the go-ahead to up my spiro dose too, but I haven't done it yet. he told me it would be good to increase one first in case of any side effects, that way it's easier to pinpoint which medication is causing it. I have a trip to Rochester coming up at the end of the month and I was going to wait until then to increase the spiro, but I may do it this weekend instead.

Speaking of that Rochester trip, I'm debating whether or not I should dress as a woman. I'm going up with one of my best friends to visit another one of my best friends, and both of them and their significant others know about me and my transition. last time I went up to visit her I went alone and we went shopping and got facials but I was presenting as male, but when we got back to her place I dressed up and we hung out at her place all night. This time we're going out to a bowling ally that's actually a bar and restaurant too, the menu looks interesting, it seems like a fun place that's kinda hip. The last time I went out in public dressed up I was with a group of girls and I had been drinking before to calm my nerves, and we went to a place that I was familiar with and was small and not busy, but this place I think will have a lot of people around, so I'm nervous. I'm sure I'll have to use the rest room a few times, and I'm assuming that there's no gender neutral ones, ugh. and if we bowl after we eat then it might be embarrassing when I ask for a men's size 12 shoe on the other hand, I think I might just need to toughen up and go through with it. If I'm going to be presenting as female full time some day I'm definitely going to need to get used to this, and it will help being there with 2 of my best friends with very little chance of running into some other people I know

I did a little online shopping last night for this trip too. I really needed a purse, I have 2 already but I'm not crazy about them, so I went to the penneys website and found a cute but basic black purse on sale for $30, then I used a coupon to get it down to $21, so yay for that! I'm def excited for it! I also ordered a new bra and some undies. with all the weight loss I don't fill out my old 40D anymore, so I ordered a 38C. I ordered a smaller size of a bra that I already have and love, so I know what to expect when i get it

also, I play in a band and haven't told my band mates yet, I've been avoiding it but I think I might have to tell them soon. Our bassist has been teasing me a little, he says I need more male friends 

[RobynTx]

Just go as yourself. I recently told my sisters and now they are wanting me to go with them on their next girls night out.

[Maddie86]

Just go as yourself. I recently told my sisters and now they are wanting me to go with them on their next girls night out.

I'm pretty sure I'm gunna go dressed up! I double checked with my friends and they are ok with it, I didn't wanna do it if they would be uncomfortable! One thing I'm concerned about is bathroom use at this place though, I still haven't used the women's room in public yet, last time I went out the place only had one restroom!

so on another note, I just finished my 10th week of HRT! it's been a little over a week now since I doubled my estrogen and a couple days since I doubled my spiro. still no breast development, but my skin is starting to get even softer, which I'm loving! I shaved my legs the other day for the first time in a while and without the hair I can definitely feel how much softer my skin is, I feel like a babe!!

I did a little shopping with my friend the other day, it went pretty well for the most part but it got a little awkward at the end. she knew the cashier who was ringing me out at Penney's and this woman thought that my friend and I were "together" and my friend clarified that I'm just a friend and she has a husband and that the clothes I was buying were for me. sigh. I wasn't buying anything too girly though, I needed a black cami and penneys had a sale where they were 3 for $12, so I got 3 and I had a $10 off coupon, yay! we also went to Charlotte Rousse and I got a bunch of chokers for like $6. I like chokers, I'm a 90s girl and I never got to wear them back then, so I gotta make up for lost time! we also went to Sephora, and luckily I have a friend who works there and she knows about my transition, so I feel comfortable going there. I got 2 Kat Von D liquid lipsticks and I really like the shades I got, one is a natural pink and one is a darker red. yes, I spent $42 on them, buuuuut I got a free makeup bag and some mascara and lipstick samples

oh, and the purse that I mentioned last week came and I really like it! my new bra is coming in the mail tomorrow, I hope it fits well!

[RobynTx]

Nice, glad you had a wonderful time. Shopping is quite a bit fun. My wife and I went Friday.  I got a few bras plus a dress and a skirt. So can't wait for a girl's night out.

[Maddie86]

Well this has been quite a week! I had a little freakout last week because I got called out of town to work for a few days. Usually this is not a problem, but this time I wasn't expecting it and I had a lot of stuff I wanted to get done in town, but it ended up being ok. I got out early on friday and came home and I hit the park for a jog. I weighed in on Wednesday last week and was surprised to see that I finally got UNDER 200lbs! I was stuck at 200 for 3 weigh ins, but this time I was down to 196! I was feeling good about that and I decided that I wanted to feel better, so at the park I really pushed myself and I got my 2nd best time I've ever had on my normal lap! this is big because for the last 2 weeks before that I had stopped timing myself because I knew I was slowing down and I wanted to be less stressed. Then after my jog I got some great news! The Union Hall that I work for called me to tell me that my missing benefits for the year have been paid in, and I was one step closer to being vested. I work construction, and yes it sucks and I feel like its slowing my transition and I want to quit, but if I quit before I'm vested I lose my pension when I retire, and I lose my annuity, which is worth thousands of dollars. Over the summer I was told that I needed a full credit this year and then a half credit next year and then I'd be vested, so while I was on the phone I checked up on that and she said that actually I can quit after this year without losing my benefits!!! I can cash in my annuity after a year of being out of the union, and by that time I can probably use the money for some sort of surgery for my transition! yay!!!

So saturday a friend and I went up to Rochester to visit a friend and her husband. I think I mentioned it here but I also started another thread about it, this was my 2nd time dressing as a woman in public. We went to a hip new bowling alley/restaurant and the staff was great, no judgement from them at all, and this one woman was super nice, she kept calling me honey and sweetie, which I really appreciated! I didn't get misgendered by anyone, which is nice! I feel like I got a few odd looks from people but I didn't pay them any attention, I just kept with my friends and had a fun time! My one friend why hadn't seen me since before HRT said I seemed more whimsical lol! It was fun and I need to do stuff like this more often, but it's gunna have to be out of town, I'm not ready to be "out" yet and I know way too many people in my local bar scene!

[Maddie86]

I forgot to add that I am going to try to be way more strict about my diet now. I was only made away recently how dangerous too much potassium can be, so I'm gunna try to avoid potatoes and dairy when I can, among other things. I thought eating whole wheat was supposed to be healthier, so I've been eating whole wheat instead of white products over the last couple months, turns out whole wheat has more potassium! oh no!

another thing I have to ask my doctor about is sun exposure. I got my estrogen refilled the other day and the bottle said to avoid long exposure to direct sunlight while on it, and it never said that on the bottle before. I've been working outside all day for the last month! sigh. at least I won't have to work outside too much longer

[RobynTx]

Congrats on a great week. Keep up the weight loss. What's the next goal? 175?

[Maddie86]

Congrats on a great week. Keep up the weight loss. What's the next goal? 175?

I think my next goal is 186, when I hit that I'll have officially lost 100lb! I weighed myself last december and I was over 286, that's all my scale goes up to, so while I'm probably at the 100lb mark right now, it won't be official til I hit 186 since I have no real number of when I started! but after that, yes, 175! it would be cool if I could get down to that by the end of the year, but we'll see, things are slowing down for me

and thanks for always replying to my posts, I appreciate it

[elkie-t]

If you want to lose weight, start skipping meals. I was never overweight, but lost from 215 to 185 without noticing when life got a bit busy and I started skipping breakfasts and lunches and having something quick for a dinner.... and as crazy as it goes, I felt a lot of energy too.


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[Roll]

Maddie, you looked amazing!

Congrats on the weight loss as well! I've been stalled a bit at 220 for some reason, even keeping diet fine and exercise up. (I'm hoping my increased exercise just added muscle to explain the small plateau.) I hope to catch up with you on weight soon though!

[Maddie86]

Maddie, you looked amazing!

Congrats on the weight loss as well! I've been stalled a bit at 220 for some reason, even keeping diet fine and exercise up. (I'm hoping my increased exercise just added muscle to explain the small plateau.) I hope to catch up with you on weight soon though!

aw, thank you! and don't worry, you'll overcome your stall! don't give up!

[rmaddy]

maddie if you don't mind me asking how tall are you ? i'm 5 10 1/2 and my weight is about the same as yours. thank you

6'3"/193

[Becca Kay]

I think my next goal is 186, when I hit that I'll have officially lost 100lb! I weighed myself last december and I was over 286, that's all my scale goes up to, so while I'm probably at the 100lb mark right now, it won't be official til I hit 186 since I have no real number of when I started! but after that, yes, 175! it would be cool if I could get down to that by the end of the year, but we'll see, things are slowing down for me

and thanks for always replying to my posts, I appreciate it

as you lose weight AND become more fit from exercise your body will become more efficient an probably use fewer calories.  that's why your weight loss slowed and at times plateaued. 

as someone who's wrestled with an eating disorder my entire adult life my advice is to avoid taking drastic steps.  Dysphoria and weight loss can mess with your head.  Slow steady weight loss is healthier for you mind and body.   Don't skip meals.  it's better to just eat a few fewer calories now and then than it is to skip meals. 

it sounds like you have a regular healthy routine.  just stick to it.  over time it will get you where you're going.