What's it like post-op?

[JJ_BLOSSOM]

I obviously am pre-op and moving forward with the necessary steps to transition this is just very difficult for me because I'm leaving my wife and kids...I pray that I'm going to find what I'm looking for with my transition...to you that have done it and are passing for cysgender....what's it like? Was the first time you urinated in the women's room out of your vagina that confirmation we all seek?
Hugs JJ

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[Zumbagirl]

I feel like a normal person now, with everything in the correct place. As far as taking a pee, well the first one was rough because of the swelling. These days I pee several times a day only because I am a coffee fiend. It was honestly just nice to put the whole transition thing behind me and move on with my life. I tried going super feminine, didn't like, and dialed it back to my happy spot. Being physically complete only provides the inner mindset that I'm fine, the rest is social skills and living life on life's terms.

[Dani]

Being post-op was a BIG relief. The dysphoria was gone and I felt good for the first time in my life.
I had my catheter removed about 10 days post-op and urination was normal. Not a big deal.
After that, I just got on with the rest of my life.

[tgirlamg]

Hi JJ and welcome to the forum!...

Congrats on the brave new direction you are moving in your life and I too, hope that you find what you are looking for!!!

I think that life post-op, like all the thngs in life is what we make it to be... Most of what we judge to be success or failure depends greatly on our perspective and mindset...  These things will change and morph along the way because transition is an ever unfolding journey... Our mindset can make the same journey either amazing or a quagmire of misery... In the end the way we experience things is our choice

The surgery is not a fix all to make you feel like a woman... If you have unresolved issues before surgery they will likely be there afterwards... I don't know if there is any magic moment where urination sets you free! 😀!!!!... But I will say, after healing is complete... The changes begin to feel very natural and you have almost a sense that you have always been like this... At least it was that way for me... It will be a piece of the total puzzle along with all the other changes... Very much a process my sister!!!...

My advice is keep moving forward each day towards your goal and be gentle with yourself... When self criticism knocks... Don't answer the door!!!... It is a trap that can be hard to escape!!!   You may have a view of how it will be or how you will look that possibly may go unrealized... Don't put all your eggs in the basket of " passing as cis " ... It is a worthy goal but there is a lot of suffering that has been experienced by many when they feel that they fall short.... Which sadly, is a common feeling to experience...

Now that I have digressed heavily 😀!!!!! ... The original core question... What's it like post op?

For me... An amazing journey... I am happy and satisfied in my life at levels I never dreamed were available to me!!! I am now connected to others and the world around me like never before and the experience of leaving everything behind to seek out the life I needed and making it truly happen for myself is precious and irreplaceable!!!! I came to realize that, at it's core, transition is a spiritual journey to place ourselves at a place in our lives where we can truly give and receive love!!!... How could we ever have been truly loved before when we had never shown anyone our true self? ... I went from a lifetime of relationships with women to marrying a man who is the love of my life!!!... I hadn't seen that part coming!!!


You will have hurdles to clear JJ but you have a lot of us around here ready to help you do it... This is a good place!!!!... Wishing you an amazing journey of discovery!!!

Onward we go brave sister!!!

Ashley

[JJ_BLOSSOM]

Girls thank you, each and every one of you had great insight and sound advice. I apologi ze if my question wasn't very filtered, it's just the simple things I want the most those small given pleasures and the chance to write my own story how it was meant to be told creating my own traditions ie: every year the "men" in my family go up to our property in the mountains deer hunting and I'm ready to take the money it costed to do that and spend the opening day of the season at the mall shopping getting my nails done with perhaps a close friend everyday I find my discomfort growing and I'm doing something about it now

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[RavenMoon]

I? Was the first time you urinated in the women's room out of your vagina that confirmation we all seek?

If you urinated out of your vagina I'd head back to your doctor pronto! Because the plumbing is wrong! lol

You urinate out of your urethra. The vagina would be the passage to the uterus, if there was one.

Cis women also don't seem to know their own anatomy, as some say they shave their vagina. That's not possible and it shouldn't be growing hair! They shave their vulva. [emoji6]





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[EmmaLoo]

JJ,

I've said this before, but there is a finality about GCS when it's over. It's a sense of both confidence and relief that no one can come along and take it away from you. People can still make derogatory comments, disagree, complain, whatever. It changes nothing. That chapter is complete.

Added Bonus: There is a lot less looking down to make sure things are in order.

Now, I read through your previous posts just to see where you were coming from and you've been pretty open about what you're sacrificing. One thing that struck me in your post was when you said:  "I'm 27 with a wife and two kids no one supports me".

That's frightening. And I say that because I've been through it and wouldn't want to relive a single day of that period. Even though you're excited to get on with your journey, going through a divorce involving two young children with no transition support is a recipe for emotional and financial carnage. I'm not going to slog through the 100 levels of bad here, but do yourself a favor and deal with the divorce and your children without complicating it with your transition plans if at all possible. It might not be what you want to do, but it's definitely what you should do.

Carry on.

[Thessa]

...you said:  "I'm 27 with a wife and two kids no one supports me".

That's frightening. And I say that because I've been through it and wouldn't want to relive a single day of that period. Even though you're excited to get on with your journey, going through a divorce involving two young children with no transition support is a recipe for emotional and financial carnage. I'm not going to slog through the 100 levels of bad here, but do yourself a favor and deal with the divorce and your children without complicating it with your transition plans if at all possible. It might not be what you want to do, but it's definitely what you should do.

I have to wholeheartly agree!

My divorce process was evolving over 1 1/2 years into a fight over petty things and from "keep the house" and "I will always be there for you" to if you lie on the street bleeding to death, I will step over you and walk away with a smile.

It doesn't have to go to this extremes but a divorce can become really nasty.

You definitely want to close this chapter before opening the next one, which is much nicer!

[Sophia Sage]

I obviously am pre-op and moving forward with the necessary steps to transition this is just very difficult for me because I'm leaving my wife and kids...I pray that I'm going to find what I'm looking for with my transition...to you that have done it and are passing for cysgender....what's it like? Was the first time you urinated in the women's room out of your vagina that confirmation we all seek?

Bottom surgery has very little to do with passing.  Most of passing has to do with your overall presentation -- voice and face (especially the lack of facial hair) and socialization are the primary keys.  For me, confirmation comes from my daily interactions with the rest of the world, and most of the rest of the world isn't privy to my vagina. 

That said, there *was* a special feeling of "having arrived" the first time I had sex post-op -- much more so than peeing. 

[JJ_BLOSSOM]

I agree completely girls thank you for your support that's my plan to close my life as I know it I told my wife I'm just going to go and that's really all anyone needs to know I'm tired of the gossip the snickers the bull->-bleeped-<- I'm tired of being the problem of everyone else being so put out by me I need to get back to my hormones again tho I had over  1 yr clean from meth and finally broke down my wife left with her friend and I spent all night in the garage in my own little "safe zone" doing my nails trying on my new outfits for us pre'ops leggings are tough because of what I call the "tumor" but I found using an always radiant pad to cushion and support the delima then take some medical wrap to keep tight not only feels feminine and right wearing a pad, also works very well for keeping it comfortable yet out of site

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[pretty pauline]

What's it like post-op, I had postpone my surgery for years, naively thinking I could transition without it, then finally getting a date, as the date approached I got more anxious and nervous, the lead up was the most anxious time for me, just hoping the surgery would go well and I wouldn't have any regrets, then it was done, very surreal and unbelievable moment when I finally realized I now have a vagina, it was nearly 2 years before I was completely healed, as for the peeing, that wasn't my confirmation, but having sex with my boyfriend the first time as a woman, he was a completely straight guy only attracted to women, I remember asking him afterwards what did it feel like and his reply ''awesome just like a real woman'' that was a confirmation I had craved all my life. I've no regrets, it was all for the best going through surgery and pain to become the woman I am now.

I went from a lifetime of relationships with women to marrying a man who is the love of my life!!!... I hadn't seen that part coming!!!

I never saw it coming ether Ashley, if somebody said to me 20 years ago that I'd end up being a housewife and married to a man I'd say they were crazy, but that's exactly what happen,  I'm now a very happily married woman with the best husband any girl could wish for.
I hope you find happiness Blossom, it's hard on your wife and family, if you really want this it's a long journey, but if it leads to peace and happiness, it will be worth it, to finally be ourselves.